7 Reasons Why the Women Men Date Aren’t the Ones They Marry

Curiosities
2 years ago

Everyone can probably recall a situation when a couple broke up after a long relationship and then the man proposed to the “next girl he met.” This behavior is really surprising and it raises a legit question: why does one woman not get the diamond ring after many years spent together while the next one becomes a bride almost immediately after they meet?

We at Bright Side decided to try and understand men’s logic and find out the answer to this burning question that has been bothering several generations of women across the world.

1. There’s no such thing as “the right woman.” The most important thing is to be with the man at the right time.

In social media, someone posted the opinion that men get married not when they meet “the love of their life” but when they are ready to start a family. A Twitter user got really interested in this theory and asked men to comment on it. And almost unanimously, men admitted that they had a relationship they regretted ending but it didn’t stop them from getting married when they had a fitting woman to become their wife.

There’s another popular thing that triggers men to get married: if a woman they’ve wanted to get with for a long time gets married, they want to get married as well. In this case, they feel that there’s no chance with that other women and if the loneliness becomes unbearable, the unlucky guy chooses among his available options. So, it seems that men don’t wait for the “right woman” and whatever girl that is ready for marriage at a certain time will get the proposal.

Scientists say that the best age for starting a family is from 28 to 32. After this time, the chances that a man will want to get married will drop and after the age of 42, the chance is almost 0.

2. There’s no way to build a family based on physical attraction.

Studies show that couples with a woman that is more attractive than the man are the happiest. But as John T. Molloy (the author of the book Why Men Marry Some Woman and Not Others) said, the appearance of the woman shouldn’t be vulgar. John asked more than 3,500 men to describe their brides and only 20% of the fiances used adjectives that had to do with their appearance (like gorgeous, attractive, or sexy). And the other 80% mentioned the woman’s character traits. Men said that being clean and presentable is very important but didn’t want them to look over-the-top. The most popular opinion was this: a woman should look so that it’s not a shame to appear with her in public.

3. The opinion of friends and parents can affect the decision.

Even if a man looks very independent, who he chooses as a wife will be influenced by those close to him. That’s why friends play a huge role in the beginning stage of a relationship, and their opinions may speed up the process of falling in love. Additionally, a man’s parents’ approval may also be a decisive factor in the proposal. You probably have seen cases where a parent’s expectations are different from the girl their son brings home.

4. Men are sure that women are totally satisfied.

To be more specific, women may just pretend that everything is okay when really, they don’t want to get married. However, if a woman never voices her opinion about wanting to get married, her boyfriend will never know that she is expecting some kind of gesture from him because men are bad at reading between the lines. But men are good at making conclusions. So, when this girl loses her patience, packs her stuff and leaves, the man will analyze the situation and when he meets the next woman, he will be quicker in his decisions and will propose to her before she leaves him.

Psychologists claim that couples that have few conflicts in the very beginning don’t have a future so people shouldn’t be afraid of expressing their opinions. The women that prefer to be silent about their wishes never actually get the wedding ring. 73% of future wives admit that they pressed their significant others and insisted on getting married instead of just waiting for their boyfriend to propose to them on their own.

5. Living together decreases the chances of getting married by 50%.

Psychologists warn women that they should be very careful about the idea of living together before marriage. Most men make a proposal 22 months after the beginning of the relationship and after this period, the chance decreases by 20% and 3 years later, this number is only 50%. And after 7 years, the chances of getting married are at 0%.

But don’t forget about the difference in perception: women think that living together is the first step to marriage and men, on the contrary, “forget” about the necessity to register the relationship and already think that they have a family.

6. A woman is convenient for this period of time but not for the future.

Sometimes, men want to get married but only when they achieve certain things in their lives like a promotion, an apartment, a house, and so on. They don’t want to stay alone during this difficult life period while he’s pursuing his goals, so he looks for a woman to support him — but only temporarily.

“A convenient” woman who doesn’t require much and that will always meet him halfway is not enough for the life he wants. She doesn’t challenge him or encourage an addiction. And if a man becomes successful, they want to stay in shape and in this situation, he needs a woman that will challenge him all the time, helping him to achieve more and more.

7. Not all relationships are supposed to end with a wedding.

From early childhood, girls are taught that any boys that pay attention to them automatically become their “one and only.” Very often, relatives joke about this and ask girls when the wedding is going to happen. But year after year, this question becomes more and more serious. And girls grow up with the stereotype that if the relationship is long, it can only have one end — the forming of a family. But men rarely have the same pressure put upon them, so there’s a big misunderstanding between the sexes.

Of course, people regret any time they wasted dating and often try to hold on to significant others. But then they have to live with the notion that this person is only with them because they feel they need to be, not because they want to be. Also, men rarely give up on their wishes, and if they’re certain about their choice, they won’t wait too long or avoid having the conversation. There’s no such thing as a true bachelor (right, George Clooney?), there are just women that men don’t want to marry but are too afraid to say it.

Maybe, you have your own thoughts and experience on this topic and the men you know proposed or (didn’t) for other reasons. Share your ideas in the comment section below.

Please note: This article was updated in April 2022 to correct source material and factual inaccuracies.

Comments

Get notifications

I hope it's different for me and my boyfriend.. I love him too much?

-
-
Reply

What a bunch of fear mongering. Alternative title, 7 reasons I don't date men. ...

-
-
Reply

Its okay, sh*t happens, human behaviour, we can’t help it, or maybe we can, idk, it’s complicated ?

-
-
Reply

Idk, it has been a very different experience for me. Every man I dated wanted to marry me. Not that this is a bragging right because some I did end up marrying and some I knew from the beginning that I wouldn’t but I would let them think what they want in the beginning and I would eventually say “that’s not gonna happen” and they were seriously thinking that it would, until I left them! I still have some as friends and they all say they are still in love with me. TBH, I’m not sure why, I am frank and upfront, I tell it like it is, and i demand my way! Which has caused some conflict in the relationships but for some odd reason they all wanted me to be their wife! And I’m talking from 15-40. There were periods when I was alone and wouldn’t give any man the time or day and their were 3 times where I was married, totally in love and left the relationship and divorced due to their “addiction” coming out and i would say from the beginning; I don’t deal with; abuse in any form, cheating, drugs/alcohol addiction, and lying because I’m very big on Loyalty! Well after a few years it would come out that they were doing drugs or alcohol so I would try to give them a chance to correct it before I would leave. So idk, maybe there is something wrong with the way I approach things. Some of my friends say that I put it all out there in the beginning so I do not allow their true colors to come out because they are scared of loosing me until they can’t hide it anymore and it eventually does come out! I sure don’t have it figured out. And I’m single at the time but won’t go back to my ex’s that keep begging me back. No you screwed up, I warned you from the beginning now that’s your bad!

-
-
Reply

Marriage isn’t necessarily every woman’s life purpose or greatest achievement.

Why is it all about them and what they want or need? Whenever people ask me if I was married I say no I don’t need the headache.

It’s highly offensive when people think I ought to want those things because I’m female.

-
-
Reply

Related Reads