My Newborn Baby Ruined My Relationship With the Oldest Daughter

It can be hard to know how to react when you think you’re doing your best for your family and everyone ends up upset with you. One of our readers sent us a letter telling us how overwhelmed she feels, as everyone in her family is upset by her actions.

Thank you for sharing your story and trusting that we can help you. This kind of situation happens often in families.

• The father may say things without thinking that may unintentionally interfere with the relationship with the children. It’s hard to make older children understand that mothers are there for their little ones unconditionally, especially if you have a time-consuming baby and no other children at home.
• It’s understandable how you feel — all you wanted to do was to share that special moment with the whole family. Being at home postpartum isn’t easy, and any outing can help take your mind off things. Besides, if you’re breastfeeding, you can’t just leave the baby at home for a few hours.

• There are several things that could have been done to avoid all the misunderstandings. Your ex-husband could have offered to leave the baby a few days earlier so that you could prepare in advance, either by asking your in-laws to look after her or by finding a nanny and stocking up on milk, which in some cases takes a long time.

• Talk directly to Penelope and come to an agreement. Let her know that all you want is for the family to be together. It’s also important to listen to kids and not take things for granted that are obvious to adults. Kids in their pre-teens are beginning to understand everything more clearly, and any inconvenience, no matter how minor, will always be a big deal and full of feelings.
• Communication is the key to avoiding problems. Always be cautious, and if others do not take the initiative, it is preferable to go and ask what should be done or say how you would like things to happen. This way, you will not have any inconveniences.

Family relationships can sometimes be difficult. But at the same time, they are a great source of positivity and love.