Sometimes, trying to be helpful at work can backfire in ways you never imagined. That’s exactly what happened to me when I tried to address what I thought was a small issue and ended up with HR stepping in.
Hi Bright Side! I’ve run into an incredibly awkward office situation and need some advice. I work at a mid-sized company, and until recently, everything was running smoothly. But then a new coworker joined our team.
Almost immediately, I noticed a strong body odor whenever he was around. At first, I thought it might have been a one-time thing, but it kept happening. Others seemed to notice too. You could see people subtly shifting away, but no one said anything.
I've dealt with someone at my old school that had a extreme problem his his personal hygiene and the situation never changed but the person would come to school smelling horrible then the teachers told the student about it but the student did nothing to fix his stench, I get it sometimes you have to say nothing about it.
After a week of quietly dealing with it, I decided to say something in a friendly way. I figured if I were in his shoes, I’d want someone to mention it, so during a quiet moment, I said, “Hey, I hope this isn’t awkward, but maybe try using deodorant? It gets pretty warm in here, and I thought it might help.”
I expected him to take it as a friendly heads-up, but instead, he shook his head and said, “I don’t remember asking for your opinion on that.” I just nodded and tried to let it go, but I could tell he was upset.
I think the problem here was that you should have given HR the heads up about the toxic fumes eminating from the man's armpits has created a toxic, unusable work environment. It is HR's duty to follow up on a complaint like that. This exact problem existed at the company I work at. It was a lady and the smell was coming from an area further south of you know what I mean. She would pollute the entire room. She was finally called out by HR and given written doctor approved pamphlet information and a hygiene kit I would have like to have received. None of this worked towards alleviating her issue(laziness is hard to cure)and she was let go
The next morning, I checked my inbox and felt my stomach drop. I’m not sure what he did, but there was an email from HR saying: “HR requests you attend a private meeting to discuss creating an inclusive workplace environment.”
I went in and they greeted me politely, but their tone felt sharp. They reminded me of company policies and said I should “be mindful not to comment on coworkers’ personal hygiene in the future.” It wasn’t an explicit caution, but the message was clear. One more slip, and things could get serious.
My coworker has barely spoken to me since. I feel like I tried to handle the situation as respectfully as possible, but now I’m the one being seen as insensitive. The awkwardness has even spread to the rest of the team.
Honestly, I don’t think I should have had to stay silent. The smell was really noticeable, and I don’t understand why I wouldn’t be allowed to comment on something that affects everyone around us. Did I really cross a line here? Should I apologize, or just let it go and hope things cool down?
Hi there! Thanks for opening up and sharing your story with us. It’s definitely a tough spot to be in, and we understand how stressful it must feel to work under these circumstances. Here are a few tips that might help you move forward and handle similar situations more smoothly in the future:
This situation feels huge right now, but give it a few weeks and something else will steal the spotlight. Offices move on quickly. Following these steps can help you handle workplace issues calmly and clearly while reducing the chance of confusion or conflict.
If you think you’ve seen awkward interviews, wait until you read the story of this candidate who had a 99% chance of getting the job until one mistake cost him everything.
Not nothing you can do, they may have a sweating problem that deodorant does not help with. Other solutions are extremely pricey, I know, I have to get Botox in my pits. He may notice and have nothing he can do, I would suggest a little Vicks vapor rub under your nose throughout the day
I feel for both you and him
Well others shouldnt be subjected to it regardless
So what, take a shower
I had a situation while I was still a probationary employee in an auto- assembly plant. I was required to train a veteran employee on the job I had been working, so they could take over. The problem was marijuana, patchouli soaked, brown cigarette smoking veteran employee in a very, very close quarters environment, having to guide body and hands to learn job movements. I could not breath, my eyes watered and soon I could not see. In a manufacturing environment, safety overrides nearly everything. I pulled the cord, stopping the line. It was no longer safe to continue considering I could not see while working on a moving line. The person was actually sent home to shower.
Here is a good rule of thumb. If it's not your body, don't comment on it. I'm in a situation where I am missing a lot of essentials, including medications, because I am a single mom who's kid has epilepsy with retractable seizures and requires a lot of medical care.
Based on HR's response and the comments on the article next time you should stick with the tried and true approach.
Stop wearing deodorant yourself and make sure to microwave fish in the company break room and eat lots of garlic and beans.
If anyone complains report them to HR for commenting on your personal hygiene and dietary choices. Also get a job where people respect your shared space so you can leave this dump behind.
As a hypersmeller I would have said something too. It's not just him working there why should all of you have to accommodate his offensive stink. I would wear really strong perfume, spray scent around your desk, get those stick things that smell anything so you don't have to smell him and set a meeting with HR how they are going to eliminate the smell that is effecting everyone in the office. It's now a health and safety issue.
Its unfortunate that he ratted to HR about you. I had a similar situation, not about body odor but about cologne. The Dr. I worked under in a very small office started to wear a new cologne; it made me physically ill, it aggravated my asthma and my allergies. I spoke to him privately and asked him if he could go back to his previous cologne. I was lucky, he took it well and apologized. I told him he didn't need to apologize cause how could he have known.
I personally think all Dr. Offices and hospitals should be fragrance free (i have been to several offices that are and they let patients know this as well). Who wants to smell a strong scent when your already ill?! Some of these offices have done so b/c of a staff members allergies/asthma others b/c they want to protect patients.
But as for the story, since it was a BO problem, I would have gone straight to HR and not confronted the offender since no matter how nice you say it they are gonna get offended. Atleast HR can deal with if it's a hygiene issue or if the person is against deodorant or if they are allergic to it. Let HR always deal with anything that has to deal with potential hygiene, thats their problem. Unless, maybe, you're their boss, but then still i think I would still let HR deal with the issue instead of the aftermath of an upset employee.
Maybe you are offensive to him...
Wow really? That story I just posted was thought out about a true situation in my own work place and you delete it that quickly?
Perfume the room whenever he is too close...
Should have just casually left a stick of deodorant on their desk without being seen.
