I Excluded My DIL’s Son From Our Theme Park Trip

Spiteful by you comes to mind. It was a cruel act. Did you really enjoy the day and how were your actions truly felt by your grandson?

As a person with one income, I have to plan outings. If the mother had called first, asked was it okay and helped out financially that's different. I would have taken both children out for the day but it would have been something different. Theme parks are $50 and more for the day plus food. Your talking about $200-300 dollars for the day. I would have chose a less expensive outing like a movie, popcorn and maybe a movie. No one knows the relationship between the two women! It sounds like it was already strained.

I think they're I think there's two Dynamics here. Is your daughter-in-law's son, your grandson's step brother or half brother? If he's your grandson's stepbrother and not half brother, I understand where you're coming from. If he's your grandson's half brother although it's inconvenient, I believe he should be included. I'm a grandma and a great grandma myself, and I deal with this dynamic. But I also have to say I call them all my grandchildren.

It is 100% your fault! That 10 year old deserves to do things also. I understand the frustration of not planning on him but it couldn't have been that much of an inconvenience to include him too. Plan a different day for one on one time. Blood does not make a child not family. Your son married his mom, that makes him family.

It appears this was a special event previously planned by Grandma for the 8-year-old. Maybe she does something separately with a 10-year-old at a different time. Because of the emergency nature of the situation is a little different, but I can definitely see Dil trying to force the 10-year-old into the event even though as previously planned for only the 8-year-old

After rereading this article I need to make a correction to my earlier post. The boys are half brothers and by showing one favoritism over the other creates resentment between them. Wether or not there is another biological grandmother is of no concern. By having a neighbor watch the child with out informing even your son. I don't blame them for their reaction. That was cruel.

The DIL over reacted and I think she was trying to make sure her 10 year old was going to the theme park as well. However, Instead of taking him there herself, created the "work emergency" to drop him off unexpectedly to her husband's mother who she knew already had plans. Then when she found a way to carry on her plans the same way but still the 10 year old was cared for as well. She flipped out exposing her plan to have the 10 year old go to the theme park to with no money given to her to take him. The woman even paid for him to be cared for while she had her one on one day. Plus, he may have Grandparents that spoil him and do nothing with the 8 year old which is why she wanted to focus on him, and honestly sounded more like why the DIL was trying to include her son again but rudely. There is a right and a wrong way. She chose the wrong way.

Put yourself in the 10 year olds shoes. Imagine what thoughts of rejection he must have felt. Plans can change even if we don’t like it. Sounds like you live close enough to your bio grandson that you could have planned something else.
As far as your son being kicked out, there were already problems. There were already issues apparently.

Since this trip had been planned well in advance, the DIL should have brought the issue up days prior. I feel it was done deliberately to put mom on the spot and it didn't go as planned. Personally I would not have taken one child alone unless I did it separately for each one. This definitely should not have been taken out on the husband. I feel everyone here is very extra.

My ex sil was dating a woman w a child. They eventually had one together. All 3 call me grandma. I totally get the need to have special time w your grandson but you also have to respect that this is your son's step child. Your grandsons step brother. Wheh i married my husband, i made a promise to my step daughter that our home was her home & she was allowed to have her brothers, her mom, whomever over. Family was entitled to one on one but you do with both (different times obviously) & you jump in where you can to help. You want her, her child & her family to accept, love & to be kind to your grandson, right? You have no right to expect anything that you arent willing to do. Does it suck- absolutely. But its not the end of the world. Besides! You may just fall in love & end up w a bonus grandchild. I helped raise my oldest grandson for years, raising my granddaughter for 9yrs- not one is related to me by blood. But i couldn't love them more than i already do

My MIL use to do this with my husband and I kids. We have 4 between the two of us. His, mine, ours. His daughter was the favorite. New toy, new clothes, one on one Grammy time she got it. I use to call her out on it. At one point her favoritism with all the grandkids cost me my job. (She would watch my husbands daughter and my bil n sil son. But not our boys.) We lived 3 miles from them for 10yrs. In those ten years I can count on one hand how often she took our other three kids over night. Now here we are a total of 15yrs after the youngest one was born and the younger three have basically nothing to do with my husband's parents or their own older sister when it's by choice. You reap what you sow and your grand kids will know this.

I wouldn't let you see my son after that either. Do you know the trauma exclusion causes for kids? Obviously not.

You are a selfish bish! You got what you deserve! I have two grandchildren from my stepdaughter that call me MawMaw! I couldn't ever do that to one of my grandbabies! I would never let you see my kids again either.

Remember there are always 3 truth's to every story, there is your truth, their truth and the real truth. Most people will only say enough so they don't look bad or leave out their side of of the story so they are not judged because people are so fast to judge other's before they know the real truth or the whole truth. Now do I think the grandmother should have taken her daughter in laws child does it matter the grandmother made her decision for whatever reason and now she has to live with that decision just the same with the daughter in law that is between them and no one else. Some times people just want their story heard for whatever reason and don't want to hear someone negative opinion. It's easy to say what you would have done or should have done when it's not you. Maybe the grandmother had plans just to spend the day with her one grandchild, maybe she did not have enough money, maybe two kids is to much, may the daughter in law child is way to much to handle we don't know for whatever reason grandmother is being Judged and so is the granddaughter and both of them maybe good people or heartless that's between them and no one else. Let me say one thing after spending 3 tours in Iraq I came to a understanding to do the best as I can to watch what I say, who I say it too, and at the end of the was it worth being truly mad at because in the blink of a eye one of them could be gone and nothing can be done to fix anything. I have just one more thing to say where was the dad in all this, why did he not step in and handle this before it got out of control, I don't know his story just saying and does anything I have said really matter because just like bad joke and opinion everyone has one.

My son married a single mom. We love our granddaughter, now 22, and see her as just that our granddaughter. What's wrong with you people?

That was very heartless and cruel of you! The 10 year old was probably excited about having fun at the theme park than you dump him at a babysitter instead. Can you imagine how disappointed and awful that made him feel? No I guess you can't because you don't have a heart. The Mom is %100 correct to deny you access to her children in the future. She's protecting them from emotional abuse by your heartless favoritism.

I smell favoritism. If those grandbabies are siblings/step siblings why act like cruella deville to one kid and all lovey dovey to the other kid? You shouldn't have neither one since you play favoritism. Go kick rocks or something and grow up. I hope your son knows your dirty tricks and ends up cutting ties from you so you won't have anything else to do with either grandkids until you can prove that you changed and not acting like a privilege old prune greedy granny.

I cannot agree with Teresa in the tiniest. My husband and I have 9 grandchildren between us and we love each and every one of them. Yes we know some are mine and some are his but having these grandchildren make our lives worthwhile. We don’t exclude any of them, all are welcome in our lives, and they all know it! I do feel the need to ask Teresa where was her heart when she first met her DIL and her young son. Not to mention that Teresa would have been around for at least 8 years or 8 birthdays! Both my husband and I would have been ecstatic about getting a grandson out of the deal!

Granny, you are awful.

I think the granny was a harsh heartless woman. The child is 10 years old. So I don't see him as a nuisance but a help with his younger sibling. How was he going to have fun on rides with an old lady who won't ride the rides like a kid will. If she wanted alone time with him, she could have picked an outing like time at a kids museum or a park excursion. She knew she was being straight mean spirited. I wouldn't want my son in your orbit either. You're a mean vicious shrew of a woman. One day you will suffocate your grandson out of the guise of love. But nobody wants that spiteful kind of love. Especially someone so hateful to a 10 year old kid..... Shame on you lady.

I get emergencies happen. However she had to have known about the theme park trip. Now i have planned trips to theme parks and a whole other person can throw a wrench in the whole day. There could not have been enough $ for the last minute tag along. I would have done the same thing. If it's a trusted babysitter you use on the regular, what's the issue? Was there a real emergency or was it just a ploy to have the other kid tag along?

Isn't he your grandson also! Or is he a step grandson?? Either way that's foul.

What a horrible person this grandma is. It's a child she is punishing. My mom would take her granddaughter and also the kid of the DILs best friend while she was staying with my brother and DIL so he didn't feel left out. Your son and DIL are married, makes it a blended family you should not mistreat her other child, that makes you a bad person.

Ok I get it the mother has a child from another relationship. Expected her mother -in-law to baby sit her son so she could go to work. With out asking or attempting to make other arrangements. I do understand grandma wanting to spend time with her grandson I assuming that older child his grandparents and a father he probably does things his half brother does not get to attend. Grandma did say she was not a nanny/babysitter but mom left away??? Things could have been handled differently..but I think there is more to the story then this.

Well well well if it isn't the consequences of your actions. Because you know damn well you've been a gigantic AH to your DIL and older grandson for 8+ years (also irony much!?! your DIL gave birth to BOTH children)

Just like your entitled AH self was all I hyped up the fact I was taking my 8 year year old grandson to a theme park but screw his 10 year old step brother who's living in the same household that I've known since he was a baby

The only thing that makes me sad is your son waited 8 years to tell your you're a horrible person who doesn't deserve access to his children

OP is a heartless BITCH. This is a CHILD, who is no way to be punished for the actions of his PARENTS; just imagine how that child must have felt hearing that he was excluded over something that wasn't his fault. He was just a kid who was excited to go to the water park. OP is a terrible person.

The way I see it you got everything you deserved actions speak louder than words your actions against that boy are horrific they are children
Your showing your preference for one over the other not acceptable
Imagine how that poor child felt being dumped off with a stranger
You could have made a difference in that young means life but you had to show him what a cruel world it is out the there
I'm glad you are not my children's grandparent

I think this was an effort to force the MIL to take the other son to the theme park also. I have been in that situation
. There was no emergency, just wanted both boys to go, is my belief.

I think if DIL had called first and explained the situation perhaps this grandmom would have taken both boys. I would have taken both as there are some rides the grammi can't do.

You should of postponed your little outing sometimes things come up you made the other child feel left out I have 2 children w ex he has 3 other sons i also have another son different dad they are treated the same even the grandchildren

The children are only two years apart. There may have been some contact when both were married to someone else. There may some custody issue. No information about who lives with who. How can she have known the other child at least 8 years and not developed a relationship with her grandson's brother? Since they are so close in age they may love/like each other depending on who her son lived with in the past 8 years. There is much more to the story. Even if the 10 year old had little contact with her or even if he was a neighbors child a good person would not hurt any child like she did.

Theme parks can be really expensive. Maybe the grandmother could not afford taking another child.

And that's what's wrong with the world - not enough Love for a child.

Say ur not related to ur own grandkid? Yea dont expect to ever see them again

You can't fix this. Setting her son up with a stranger was a bridge too far. Her husband most likely didn't have her back, so she kicked him out. Now you have the shared son. She will most likely weaponize him, so you don't have many options that won't involve a lawyer and lots of drama.