I Refuse to Cook Lunch for My Husband’s Family Every Sunday, So I Set the Perfect Trap

I have to say yes you went to far. Did you say anything to your mother in law that it's a lot of work do you think everyone could pitch in to help with clean up? Or when you are done say okay hubby time to help me clean up. If he refuses leave the mess until he helps. Order pizza and serve on paper plates with plastic forks and cups. If you are questioned why say I cook and do all the clean up and when I asked your son for help I was dismissed as if my feelings were of no consequences.

I don't blame you for what you did.

Your husband is the true person to blame here. He shouldnt have let this happen

If this story is real, this person is a nut case and reminds me of why i can't stand gen z. So lets break this down. The average home price is $450k. This person says the home is spacious, so i can assume it was fairly expensive. I live in small town tn and our housing prices are around the national average, so its pretty safe to assume their home is too. If the family gave them 80%, thats $360k......and she has a problem making lunch once a week???? Next we have family tradtions. Did she ever stop to think her husband is one of those rare young people who actually loves his family and maybe wanted to start a family tradition? Yes, i agree its bs that he didnt help her, but she also didn't say that she asked for help. What she said is she complained about his family coming over. Would he have a problem with her family coming over? Probably not. Would he have a problem helping her clean up if she had asked? Probably not. And she also never spoke with his family about how hard it was to cook for 10 people once a week, and last i checked, guests don't normally clean your house, so why is anyone angry when she didn't even tell them? This woman is 26 and she put tomato sauce on the walls and smashed dishes like a toddler. Is she borderline or something? What is wrong with this person? Im a married woman myself, and i understand that husbands can be lazy, but i would never smash my own dishes then leave with my bags over cooking lunch. If my husband did that, i would change the locks and not let him back in. I was also an investigator, and something like smashing dishes is actually one of the first signs of dv. If she hasn't already, she'll start hotting him if he lets her come back. And if they have kids, she will probably hit the kids.

If she truly did this, she's a bit crazy. Leaving the dirty dishes until later so you can be part of the party is just fine. Destroying the dishes and staining the walls is entirely different. But ... how does a person smash dishes in the next room over without anybody hearing it?
There is also missing info on the loan. If it was a real loan, the parents have given them nothing (except perhaps debt they cannot handle, if they were not able to get a bank loan.). If it's interest free, then that's a huge gift... but still not buying them anything. And certainly doesn't entitle them to free dinners and domestic service for the extended family every week for 30 years.
As someone said, order pizza and do casserole and such. If they ask, tell them that you expect to be part of the social interaction so, barring help, you'll be planning meals with the lowest possible effort.

That's the reason I moved away from both sides of the family. But the 5 or 6 times that his family has visited they always do something outrageous. The last time they came over, after my husband got out of the hospital, 4 of them came over and stayed over my daughter's house w/o asking her first and took my husband with them

I am not siding with the husband at all, but Kristin made her husband aware that she was done without any lead up from what I can tell and then went nuclear when he didn't immediately deal with the issue. Sometimes our spouses need a push to change. Like, for example, taking the night off and letting him cook and clean up after. She destroyed her kitchen to make a point...doesn't exactly scream of a rational reaction.

This sounds incredibly fake. And if it's not then the author is too immature to be married. She may have spoken to her husband, but she didn't speak to everyone. And the EASIEST way to have made her point is to have cooked nothing at all instead of smashing dishes like a child.

I would apologize to my in laws and explain to them what I was feeling to start to try to repair the relationship. I would also explain that there are other things or ways I'd like to do on my Sundays. If they don't understand then you know how they view you in their family dynamic. Suggest other days or times to host but also suggest a rotating schedule. Also invite them into the kitchen with you to prepare, cook and clean making it a family affair.

Run, far and fast way far away . You have a slug for a husband. No of them seem to respect you or your home

I don't understand why she hasn't spoken up about the lack of support from her husband helping to cook or anyone volunteering to help clean. She should have told her husband this is how it's going to be and if they don't assist this will be the last dinner. I think she overreacted but totally understand why.