I Refused to Leave My Legacy to My DIL’s Daughter—She’s Not My Family

Lady, what you said and did about the girl who is ABSOLUTELY your oldest granddaughter is disgusting. Your son loves all his children, and for you to single out one for such a tiny, petty reason makes you a subhuman monster. Luckily, your money was insufficient to entice this strong family into continuing their association with its weakest link, you. You should absolutely get all 3 kids back in the will, equally, but whether you do or not, they should never entertain the possibility of contact with you again. Quite simply, someone like this could never be anything but a liability to people with basic decency. Rot alone forever.

You have been lied to since the birth of the child thinking she's your blood. Of course you are right to not leave a penny.

It's not really up to your son who's in your will. Put the money for the children that you want to have inherent something in a trust. Once they're 18 they can collect in their father doesn't get a vote.

That is sad. My late mother was almost the same. A man she was briefly married to had a daughter that wasn't biologically his. But because she knew him since a baby and her bio dad didn't want anything to do with her. He is dad. My mother "alienated" this poor girl and tried to make demands not to have him be around for her. I talked to the young girl and apologized for my mother. I also told my mother how very much I disagreed with her bad attitude. That girl is non-bio's Dad daughter. Period.

I always laugh when I read about these people obsessed with their "legacy." You literally don't have a legacy. You're some random middle class lady, not landed gentry. Two generations from now you will be forgotten and no one will know who you are. The "legacy" you're leaving is how you will be remembered by those who knew you and the stories they will pass to their children about you. Now you've just ensured that your legacy will be that you cared more about who slept together than giving love to your family. You will be remembered for being cruel and selfish 🤷Seriously I don't understand this boomer obsession with "legacy." You care more about how your family's choices supposedly reflect on you than how you treat your family. It's no different than parents cutting out a gay child from their life because of what people at their church will think. You would rather scorn and abandon your family over what strangers think when you should be caring about what your family think of you. I'd be much more broken up about my family deciding I'm too heartless to spend time around than whatever someone else says or whatever your entitled sense of pride says. You've decided that all your legacy is is blood and money and that's all you'll be remembered for. You won't have contact with your grandchildren and when you die and they get some money from you, they won't remember the memories or how you treated them, you will just be a paycheck and once it's spent you will be forgotten. And for the child who doesn't get any money it will just be another reason to remember you as someone who abandoned them and caused strain and division in their family. Your last action in life will just be to cause siblings to fight over money.

My father is not my father by blood but he treated me no differently than my siblings (who are his by blood). Neither did his family and when I was 18, I legally changed my name to his. I can't imagine the pain this "grandmother" has inflicted on her extended family. Shame on her and they are right to disown her collectively as she sought to shame and disown them individually.

As a parent of teens, if ive learned 1 thing its this. We teach our children to lie to us by our actions and reactions. This is how this woman reacts to the truth, so her son has learned to lie to her. My kids never lie to my husband and i because we don't judge, we teach. If one of our sons had been in this situation, we would have simply asked him if this is what he wanted, and if the answer is yes, then at that point its none of our business. Im not about to judge a woman for getting pregnant, and if she loves my son and he sees that baby as his, then thats my grandkid. We taught both of our sons to never judge women, and we also taught our daughter to never allow any man to judge her. Yes, women can get pregnant, in fact, we are the only ones who can get pregnant. Also, women are allowed to have sex with whomever she wants. Its that whole consent thing. We don't do that red pill bs in our home and we didn't teach our sons that. So my sons know we would never judge a pregnant woman for wanting a lovong relationship with someone who isnt the father of her child. In fact, if she can have that with one of my sons, then i guess the bio dad missed out, and thats his problem. This idea around men raising kids that arent theirs became outdated with the industrial revolution. Its clear this womans son didn't mess up his life (the common lie told to young men) because he yas a happy marriage amd 3 children he loves. So yeah, i don't blame him for lying. His mother can't handle the truth because sye lives in an illusion.

I don't have grandchildren of my own yet but I was asked to be an adopted Nana and I love that child as if he was was my Grandbaby. I can't imagine when my children do get around to kids I would stop loving him because he got "replaced by the real ones". What a horrible thing to do.Shame on you and your son did the right thing. I hope his daughter never finds out what YOU DID because the scars of rejection will be with her the rest of her life.

So the advice that the "specialists" in the column are giving is essentially for her to pretend to care about the child she has brazenly rejected so that she can fool her son into allowing her to see her "blood" grandchildren.......

For me, it would be snowing in he'll before she saw any of my family again. Because you know for her it's always gonna be "blood" versus "not blood"

If you would have accepted this child without reservation, your legacy would have been of love, understanding and happy memories. All your legacy is now is money.

The old lady should have kept the details of her will private, just between her and her lawyer. The executor should have been the lawyer. Then when she dies, surprise, surprise! Now that the cat is out of the bag, just set up the will that all her money and stuff goes to her favorite charity. Fu-k them all.