I Refuse to Sacrifice My Own Needs for My Sick Stepchild

Sorry. You were wrong. A child with a fever can lead to many more serious problems. I sympathize that others were depending on you, I understand your career is important to you, and I know about deadlines. I worked every day, was married, raised my children, kept a house, checked on my parents, spent time with family and friends and worked on several church and community activities.
I learned a lesson too late: No one laying on their deathbed said "I wish I had spent more time on my job at work".

And this is why single parents need to be veeg careful of who they bring into their kids lives. This was dead wrong. And the fact she openly admits to not living this child is even worse. I want someone who actually loves my kid and my husband indeed loves my son like his own. That was a must for me. This woman is dead wrong.

Definitely you in the wrong. That’s a terrible thing to do

First of all, you shouldn't have let your husband leave you with his daughter if you felt that way. His daughter, his responsibility. If his job is so important then she should come a different weekend. Your job is just as important as his. But since you decided to take on the responsibility, you were probably wrong for leaving the kid. I'm assuming we're talking about 5-12 year old. A teenager? Ok. A kid shouldn't be left alone.

You couldn't have been more wrong if you had tried. The child comes first. Every child comes first. Every single time.

I can't call you the name you deserve to be called. I'll just say that you're a selfish and sorry excuse of a human being. I hope that now this man realizes the mistake he made marrying someone like you. And when this marriage fails I'm sure you'll tell the world how neither time was your fault.

You don't say how old the child. That matters. She shouldn't be coming to your house when he's out of town anyway.. Teenager NTA. 12 or less YTA.

It is ok if she doesn't feel a bio connection. But the human thing to do is stay until her Mom comre. No one is wrong. I wouldn’t expect a step parent to have the same connection as they want their bio child especially if they’re stepping into their lives as a teenager. Just like I would not expect a teenager to warm this close attachment to a step parent, if they have stepped into their lives at a certain age. No one did anything wrong, except the fact that she should’ve stayedbut still called the bio parents so they can relieve her so she can go to work

Not only heartless but illegal. Especially under 13. You could have gone to jail. I think that you should never have married. Both of you his thinking you are not her mom is totally different. Even a friend would not leave a child alone.

I'm on
OP's side. Husband and ex are the monsters here.

Despicable is the word that comes to mind right off.

U don't leave a sick child at home alone how would she like it if someone did that to her child

You knew it was a package deal when you got married. You don't have to love her like your own but your post reeks of resentment, that you don't want to be bothered. Age of the child here determines whether your actions were irresponsible or considered "okay".

Grow up poster

You were so wrong and pretty heartless !

Why was the step kid there with Dad out of town? Thats awkward if he knows they don't have the best relationship...also, the kid was fine... getting so upset is a waste of anger...

Everyone is to blame...you should have used your stepdaughter's cell phone to call her mother and father...

Awful step mom. Has no business around any kids

The age of the child is an important variable, not to mention how sick thd child is. While I agree with other posters who said thd child should not have been left in uour care, if the father is not in town, it was what it was. Though I do wonder, your husband was out of town, then how was he in the child's room when you got home.

That said, there's behaving like the child's parent, and there's behaving like a decent human being. You story shows you a capable of doing some day to activities, reflective your knowing how to behave like a decent step parent. Kudos for stating from the get go that you have no delusions of being a replacement mom to your step daughter. However your justifying your essentially abandoning a sick child due your career ambitions suggest you are lacking in thd decent human being department.

Seriously, if you were to find yourself alone with an incapacited stranger, would you actually just call 911 and hope all goes until emergency help arrives, and just continue on as if nothing important just happened in front you? I would hope not, but your career first attitude the care of the child of someone is supposed to mean something to you, serious doubts you would be any better to a stranger of the street.

You left a sick child home alone to fend for herself. Thats not only cold hearted but mean and and cruel. Rather you like it it or not it was your responsibility to take care of her...and your chose yourself. You really dont have any business being a step mother

What a horrible person! It’s not a matter of loving or not, it’s a matter of basic humanity.

I'm assuming this is a grade school age child. I wouldn't leave a neighbor's child alone knowing they were sick and had a burning fever, much less my stepchild. You, lady, do not have a hero's heart. You are also a coward and chose the easy out because you do not love this child. SHAME SHAME SHAME on you.

Assuming this story is even real.

Depends on the age. She should not have been there when her father was out of town.

Staying home for a sick kid isn't stepping in as mom or loving her like your own ... it's basic common decency, which you lack so completely you dont have any inkling how monstrously wrong you are. I would have called in for a flipping stranger, let alone a family member. And yes, that's what a stepkid is ... family, which you let down like a bear killing its cubs. Your husband should instantly file for divorce, a restraining order, and report you to the police for criminal neglect of a minor child. Seriously, you deserve jail time. And spare me your oh so important career and needs of "your team." Work is work, and family is family, and one of those things is infinitely more important. "Damaged me professionally" indeed. If your coworkers knew what you did, or clients, that would damage you professionally more than any sick day.

She shouldn't have left the child alone.

How old is the minor? If the legal parent was not in town, why is minor there? I feel like this letter is missing a lot of info.

The worst part is she says she chose herself, but she actually chose work, not even herself. She left a sick child home alone, risked going to jail if the neighbor decided to call the cops (i would have), and a prosecutor decided to charge child endangerment. Risked cps involvement. Risked her marriage. All for a souless company that doesn't give af about her. Not only is she just an awful sub human, but she isn't too bright either. I bet her husband was in that room looking at his ex and realizing he made a mistake.

Yeah you are a monster. But her father isn't blameless either. You making it clear that you don't care for his daughter should have been a major red flag for him and to stay away from you.

Yes you are a cold-hearted monster

Choosing a job over a sick child is no way to live.
First of all, you could drop dead tomorrow and your job will be looking for your replacement before your body is cold. Your family, though, would feel the loss for the rest of their lives. Or at least they should, we're you not someone who has a stone for a heart, with no conscience. You didn't even call to check on her during the day to see how she was doing. A fever in a child can go really bad really fast, and your stepdaughter was alone. You need some therapy to find out why your sense of worth is completely wrapped up in your job instead of seeking fulfillment in other parts of your life and the people in it.

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If you don't want to be a mom to someone else's child why did you marry a man with a child? The child was sick that morning and her parents weren't available. YOU should have stayed with her. Don't want to be a parent? Then stay away from those who are. You're a monster in the worst way.

So I am assuming that if OP saw an abandoned baby in the street that she would continue on to work because it wasn't HER baby. Regardless of whether she could reach the child's mother or not, she should have stayed with her because, as she said, the child was BURNING UP! I hope her career keeps her warm at night and celebrates her birthday with her, because no one else will be doing that now! She was supposed to be a WIFE and MOTHER, that's why her husband married her. I'm sure if he just wanted a bed buddy he could have found one pretty easily. I hope they were able to manage the girls sickness without too much difficulty, other than the STEP ELEPHANT (OP) IN THE ROOM.

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