My Family Demands I Give Up My First Home — Because My Sister Is Pregnant
The letter.
Hey Bright Side,
My sister has always been the golden child, the family princess. Growing up, she never had to lift a finger; our parents always excused her, while I was left to fend for myself as a teenager. I’ve been working since I was 15, skipping vacations, cutting corners, and saving every penny so I could one day buy my own home.
Now, after years of sacrifice, I was finally close to making it happen. But just last week, my parents called me and pushed me to give all that money to my sister instead. Her boyfriend left her while she was pregnant, and they said she “needs it more than me.” I do feel for her, but this is my dream, my savings, and my hard work.
When I refused, my parents turned on me. They called me selfish, accused me of abandoning her, and said I was breaking the family apart. The very next day, I found out my sister had told the whole family I had flat-out refused to help, conveniently leaving out everything I had already done for her over the years. Now, most of the family sees me as cold-hearted, when all I wanted was the home I’ve been working toward my whole life.
— Sarah
Here’s what we advise.
Oh heck no. Sister chose to have sex, got pregnant, boyfriend left her. Sad but has nothing to do with you. Buy your house and enjoy your hard work. Let your parents provide housing etc for your sister if they so choose. Not your circus, not your monkey.
Sarah, thank you for trusting us with your story. First of all, please know that your years of hard work and sacrifice deserve respect, not guilt trips. Wanting to buy your own home is not selfish; it’s the natural result of all the effort you’ve put in since you were a teenager. You are not responsible for fixing the consequences of your sister’s choices, even if her situation is difficult.
That being said, family pressure can weigh heavily, especially when emotions and loyalty are involved. A clear, calm conversation with your parents and sister might help, where you remind them of all the support you’ve already given and explain that giving away your savings would put your own future at risk. What do you think?
Comments
Conversation is a great place to start, but sometimes people are toxic and selfish and you need to get some space from them to preserve your own mental health. Sorry you are in this situation!
Buy your house. The faimy are the traitors. Your sister shouldn't have gotten pregnant. What kind of princess is that? There's another name for that behavior.
B-T-H
I am going to play devil's advocate here. We do not know what the real family situation is. We have one storytellers account of this and it sounds to me as if there are a lot of hurt feelings involved. It's a crying shame that this family can't get together and act like a family. Don't go no contact and quit acting like if he did decide to give that money to his sister he would be committing the greatest crime ever. Family is family and everybody else is not. I do believe that big brothers and even big sisters should help their younger siblings especially the younger siblings that have been ruined by their parents. Horrible just a horrible situation. I just feel for all of them and I wish them the best in their situation. Perhaps committing to a small amount of stipend each month until your sister gets on her feet. There are lots of solutions that don't include going no contact. That's not the automatic answer for everything because all that does is make it worse for everyone!
The most incredibly stupid response I have ever heard.
AMEN
Please send the entitled sister your contact info, along with a substantial amount of money. This is the most clueless post I've ever read.
Oh My Gawd! Are you kidding me? A monthly stipend? Get real! How will the golden princess ever learn to accept that she and only she is the creator of her own life and future if she doesn't start now? Don't give her a thing. Unless she is still a minor, no one in your family should give her anything either. She needs to learn how to step up and control her own life
First off, they are sisters and the pregnant princess is the older. So you think Cinderella (the younger sister that did all the work and saved for a house while being treated as lesser) should give the fallen princess a monthly stipend!!?? She would end up supporting the sister and the child forever. FP (Fallen Princess) needs to grow up and have the courts pursue the father for support.
Hahaha they're asking her to hand over thousands of dollars just bc one kid got pregnant. And then insulting her! She'd likely help in other ways but they just took away any reason she had to help. The knocked up idiot could just live with thr parents. This young person worked hard for her money but you'd just want her to give it up, screw herself over? You are not playing devil's advocate. You are just very simple minded. You can't read either as you said "he" and the article clearly states the writer is female. "Siblings should help... especially if one is ruined by the parents.". The golden child got herself pregnant by choice and other female is being financially ruined by the parents. They're never going to help op. What happened to make you so... stupid?
Oh I get it. You're a lazy cow who doesn't work much and expects others to pick up your slack though you hardly contribute. You're just like the older knocked up loser sister.
Family IS family, BUT BLOOD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. You are right that siblings SHOULD HELP, WHEN THEY CAN. This is NOT one of those times. Committing a SMALL AMOUNT? EACH MONTH? ARE YOU HIGH? Any amount will only be met with A DEMAND FOR MORE. This woman has been watching her sister be the enabled, spoiled, entitled brat her whole life. Going NC, is preferable to going to jail, for beating the crap out of her AND her parents. The rest of the family are also USELESS. If any of those "SOLUTIONS" involve or include giving money to her sister, she would be better off going to jail.
Fuck right off
Throw the whole family away- you'll be the better for it. It took me 45 years of being used like that to cut off my father's side of the family for doing the same thing. Because when YOU need help- they'll block your number.
Amen! FNC with Peace and Happiness the rest of my day's free of bio evil. Their only family when taking from you. When you need help and mention "family" support they'll all call you self absorbed. Go live your life to the fullest. Send em a Christmas card with update so they can't say you don't have time for "family" being stingy with money and self absorbed. Or your life will be a misery caring for goldenchild, her indiscriminate breedings, and ungrateful aging parents. The choice is yours.
As someone who has cut basically my whole family out of my life; many reasons, I can tell you my life has improved 100% without the negativity they brought. You don't need to justify your actions to anyone and No means No simple as that. I doubt explaining everything you've done would make a difference in how they treat you or expect you to act so don't bother. Tell them they can support her if they're so worried about her and do not give in to them because they will continue to treat you like crap and expect you to constantly give. Go live your life on your own terms you got this
ha, was your parents always brainless creatures or something happened to them? you do what is best for you and fallow your dream and have the fruit of your hard work for your self, and tell themnthat as a parents they should help your sister, you do not have the obligation to do so but they actually do, she is not your responsibility, enjiy your life and let them be,
No way on earth you are leaving that house
Buy your home and keep your business to yourself. Best response to anyone: "Nunya. " As in, "None of your business. " Block calls, texts, social media and tell no one and I mean no one why, where or what. Your safety and mental health depend on it. I learned the hard way.
I wholeheartedly disagree with having a 'clear, calm conversation' with sister and parents. This has become a society where the wronged party is always expected to build bridges and what for? Parents and sister have crossed an irreversible line and OP must get on with her own life. This is a sorry, sad culture we now live in where irresponsible folk are being pandered to, just to keep the peace. Move on and carve your own life and do not give in at all costs. What happens when she has baby number 2, 3 and 4?
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