12 Children’s Gems That Had Us in Stitches
Unlike adults, kids are only beginning to make sense of the world and all the things in it. That’s why their thoughts often go in unusual directions. Sometimes, this gives rise to remarks that the whole family remembers with laughter for years to come.
Once again, Bright Side has searched the internet and is proud to present a fresh portion of unforgettable kids’ conversations! Happy reading to all of you!
- Noticing that his son has fallen asleep on the sofa, dad decides to carry him over to the bed. As he is picked up carefully, the boy mutters in his sleep:
— Put me right back where you’ve found me!
- As mother waits for her son to dress for an outing, she decides to speed up the process:
— Here, give me your leg!
The boy raises his left leg, but his mother seems to have another idea:
— Give me the right one!
The boy lifts his right leg, but his mom changes her mind again:
— No, darling, the other one!
Her son looks around, puzzled, and says:
— But there aren’t any other ones left!
- A 3-year-old boy is having his hearing checked. The doctor whispers:
The boy whispers back:
— No, thanks! I’m allergic.
- A frowning 3-year-old boy is watching his dad have a smoke on the balcony. Noticing the kid’s disapproving gaze, his old man asks:
— What’s the matter, son?
— Dad, smoking is bad for your health, right?
— That’s right, son.
— But, dad, you’re still smoking?
— I am, son.
— Dad, does this mean you’re an idiot?
- — Dad are you still growing? Are you going to get any taller?
— No, son.
— Then, why do you keep eating?!
- Mother and daughter are playing animals. Mother pretends to be a goat, while her 2-year-old girl is a baby goat. As the girl’s unsuspecting father walks into the room, first thing he hears is his little princess’ commanding voice: — Hey, billy goat! Pour me some juice! The look on the guy’s face had to be seen to be believed.
- Mother looks out of the window and calls out to her son, who’s playing in the courtyard below:
— Bernie, get back home this minute!
The boy looks up and yells:
— What now? Am I freezing?
— No! You’re dying from hunger!
- A 6-year-old boy keeps looking at his teacher’s impressive manicure: — Wow! You’ve got such long nails. — Yes. Do you like them? — Sure! They must be great for climbing trees!
- My 5-year old daughter comes home from kindergarten in a bad mood yesterday. Turns out, she did poor on her first reading lesson. Close to tears, my little one stands before the mirror and says:
— I’m such a dimwit!
She stares at the mirror some more, looking pensive. Then she utters in a calm tone:
— But such a pretty one at that.
- My son’s best friend at kindergarten is a feisty girl named Maggie. They’ve been inseparable since nursery school.
A couple of days ago, I was having some problems waking my boy up early in the morning. Having tried everything else, I pulled his blanket down and proceeded to tickle his heel gently.
Still sleepy, he smiled and muttered:
— M-a-a-aggie!.. C’mon, stop it!..
- A woman is counting change at a supermarket. Suddenly, one of the coins falls down. The woman calls to her little son:
— Bunnykins, please, pick it up!
Before the boy can react, a man bends down, picks up the coin and hands it to the boy’s mother, saying:
— Of course, I’m not your bunnykins, but here you are!
The boy looks up at him indignantly:
— That’s right, you aren’t! Why did you pick it up, then?
- As I was going down the street with my son, holding his hand, a neighbor went past us, noting:
— Such a big boy, still holding hands with his mommy!
My son looked up into my eyes and said:
— Mom, she’s just jealous because her own kids have all grown up! Don’t mind what she said about holding hands! Know what? I’m going to kiss you now as well.