Bright Side

13 Stories That Prove It’s Impossible to Be Fully Prepared for the Things Children Say, Let Alone Their Actions

Despite the stress and new responsibilities connected with having a baby, parenthood makes us happy. 24/7 children show the incredible energy they have, their charming behavior, and their limitless curiosity that we often lack.

If you also agree that children’s attitudes toward life make life a little easier, the kids from this Bright Side compilation will make your mood better, at least for today.

  • I was sitting outside. There were kids playing and their ball got under the car. They didn’t know what to do. I pointed at a branch they could use to push the ball out. They looked at me as if I was dumb and then one of them took his phone and I could hear him say, “Dad, move the car, I can’t get the ball from under it.” © Rahmet / pikabu
  • I called my colleague to discuss work. I couldn’t hear her well because her 2 daughters were screaming in the background. Finally, she said, "Wait a minute, I’ll solve the noise problem. Then we continued talking in silence. I said, "Wow, your daughters really listen to you! "Uhm... Not really. I’m in a closet. © Shutok / pikabu
  • My husband, my son and I went to Greece to a resort. My son was 5 years old and he drove my husband and I crazy with how active he was. We finally gave up: the territory of the hotel was closed, it was safe, so we just let him run around. He wouldn’t stop for a moment. He runs up to me and says, “Mom, you know what? I’m tired, I think I need some rest! I roll my eyes not believing it finally happened. And then he adds, “I’ll go jumping on the trampoline!” © ceperbbynhelth / pikabu
  • My father-in-law and mother-in-law went away for a week and asked us to look after 2 of my wife’s brothers who needed to be at school by 8 a.m. So I go to their place to drive them to school. While driving, I noticed that the younger kid had a tear going down his cheek. I turn back to him and ask,
    “Why are you so sad? You didn’t get enough sleep? And he says, ‘Actually, the opposite.’
    Me: ‘What do you mean the opposite?’
    Him: ‘I lied down at 6 p.m. yesterday (and his lips started shaking) and didn’t wake up until the morning. I missed my chance to play video games!’ © metisluvre / pikabu
  • I was talking to a kid and he asked me,
    ‘Who made up nap time?’
    Me: ‘The Ministry.’
    Him: Then we should tell the Ministry that nap time is nonsense.” © YouthAlcoholic / twitter
  • My son asked me to increase his allowance. Here was our conversation:
    Son: “I wanted to ask you to increase my monthly allowance amount by $2.50.
    Me: “To make it $10.50?”
    Son: “It’s in your best interest.”
    Me: “You’ve got my attention.”
    Son: “Look. I spend $2.50 on music. Music gives me positive energy and wakes me up. So, I study better. I spend $8 on an online game: I need it as a break from my studies and this is how I recharge.”
    Me: “Beautiful argument.”
    Son: “I have more...”
    Me: “I need some popcorn.”
    Son: “Okay. You could ask, what’s in it for me if it was you who needed to study. If I don’t feel good the whole day, I won’t study as well. I will disappoint you. Your life’s focus will be lost. Which means you will have lived a pointless life.”
    I don’t want to live a pointless life, so I had to agree with my son. © Raudir / pikabu
  • I remember when I went to kindergarten, there were 2 girls in our group that looked incredibly similar to each other: same height, same hair color and length, even their faces were similar. Once in winter, they thought it would be fun to switch clothes. They did this, covered their faces with scarves so that nobody would recognize them, and when it was time for the parents to pick up their children, they calmly left with each other’s parents. I can’t imagine the variety of emotions the parents experienced when they realized they didn’t have their own child. © PivBear / pikabu
  • On my way to work, I got a phone call from my wife telling me about something that happened with our son. It was in the morning, she needed to wake up, wash, and feed 2 children, and drive them to school/kindergarten on her way to work. The request from our 5-year-old son to be carried upstairs wasn’t something that was completely out of the ordinary. But she tried to refuse, saying it was hard, but our son insisted. She sighed, picked him up, and started carrying him upstairs. With this, my son relaxed, put his head on his mother’s shoulder, and at the end of the climb he whispered in her ear, “Mom, I knew you could do this!” © adzareiko / pikabu

“My son’s latest attempt at ‘hide and seek’”.

  • What children think about soccer players. My son is 4.5 years old. He is interested in all sorts of military stuff: toys, uniforms, stories. Once, in the evening, he was in a peaceful mood and he asked me: “Mom, maybe I should go to war?”
    Me: "But why do you need this war? War is terrible. Don’t go.
    Son: “But what will I become when I grow up? I don’t even know now.”
    Me: “Maybe, a captain? You’ll work on a ship.”
    Son: “No.”
    Me: “A doctor?”
    Son: “No.”
    Me: “Maybe, a soccer player?”
    Son: “No. Mom, soccer players don’t do anything and I want a job.” © soliras.777 / pikabu
  • For context: I’m 34, my daughter is 9. We were going home after the swimming pool and talking about stuff. We started talking about time and how fast it goes by: the week just barely started and it was already Saturday; school barely started, and it was already November.
    My daughter sighs: “Look Dad, how about this, I’m 29 and you are 54!”
    Me: “No, I’m not ready for that just yet. How about this: you’re 12, I’m 37. You’re 15, I’m 40. You’re 19, I’m 44. I like that!”
    Us: 10-second silence.
    Her: “Dad, I don’t understand why you like this — you already look like you are 44.”
    I didn’t know what to say. It’s easy to offend a dad. © Halyavich / pikabu
  • I was walking home and I was going to try to outrun a mother with 2 children that were in front of me. The older kid was a boy, already a school-aged student with rounded back under his backpack. The younger child was a girl with a ponytail, a princess.
    The girl kept teasing her brother: pushing him, pinching him, making faces. But she knew what she was doing — she did it only when the mother wasn’t looking. The boy was calm in the beginning but at some point, he retaliates. And the girl turns on “a siren” drawing the mother’s attention to this.
    Mom: “Max, how many times have I asked you to not tease your sister?”
    Max: “Mom, she started this first! Why am I supposed to just keep calm?”
    Mom: “I told you, she doesn’t understand what she is doing, don’t listen to her, don’t pay attention.”
    Max paused for a moment and said: “Maybe, I shouldn’t listen to you, either?” © FoxInPandoraSBox / pikabu

What was the most unexpected thing you’ve ever heard from a child?

Preview photo credit Rahmet / pikabu