5 Crucial Reasons Why Corporal Punishment Is an Awful Way to Raise a Child. And 5 Ways That Work Better
Physical punishment is a common method used to “educate” spoiled or disobedient children, at least 4 out of 5 parents do it, and 9 out of 10 times, it’s a woman — either the mom or the caretaker. Some don’t hesitate to give a spanking to their kids, and the most desperate use whatever they can manage to find in their hand, like a belt. But even though they think they’re putting their kids on the right track, and believe their actions are harmless at the end, research shows that it’s not just damaging, but it doesn’t work.
Bright Side will show you why this may be a slippery slope and which methods are better to educate your kids.
1. It doesn’t work and it makes matters worse.
It’s true, children can be pushy and parents patience has its limits, but when they resort to spanking, they won’t achieve anything. Research shows that violence doesn’t work in the long run as a way to discipline a kid, because they need to internalize the causes behind their bad behavior. In other words, kids need to understand; they need an explanation for why the way they’re conducting themselves is not proper. Violence is just a quick way to stop the child’s actions.
2. It’s the pathway to being an abusive parent with an abused kid.
Research shows that the majority of child abuse cases began with a spanking. Given that corporal punishments don’t work, parents usually increase the amount of force used the next time their kid doesn’t behave properly. Each time, they expect it to have a permanent disciplinary effect, and that will never happen. As a result, they escalate the use of force and, in the end, wind up abusing their kids in a way they never imagined.
3. Violence raises a future aggressor.
Children who were physically punished throughout their childhood are more prone to use violence against their own children and partners. They even have a higher risk of becoming law offenders. And it’s no wonder, parents words can persuade kids, but their example has a much bigger impact on them. If a mom or dad uses a slap to resolve a conflict, that’s what the kid will learn and do.
4. Children can start suffering from depression.
If your partner hit you, would you still think he loves you? Hardly, and the same happens with a child. Little ones begin to have doubts about their mom and dad’s love the minute they exert physical punishments on them. Given that a child’s life revolves around their parents, they start feeling completely unloved and can begin suffering from clinical depression. This affects a child’s socialization process and frustrates them.
5. It literally sickens children.
Just by consistently witnessing violence, a kid reaches stress levels that deteriorate their immune system. Facing regular physical punishments has a much powerful effect because it degenerates the immune system in such a way that the child becomes more susceptible to diseases. In cases where the kid suffers from severe health conditions, it worsens them.
What you can do instead when...
You’re running out of patience
Reconsider your expectations and ask yourself if your kid’s behavior is in accordance with his or her age and stage of child development, like the never-ending “why” of 2-year-olds. This may delay your impulse and help you reflect on the case with a much more benevolent attitude.
You’ve repeatedly asked them to behave, but they keep disobeying
Avoid assuming a child knows what his mistake was or what you mean when you say “play nice.” Be precise about what is wrong and why. A simple “don’t pinch your brother, it hurts” will do.
Your kid is about to lose control
When kids are about to get out of control, responding in a way that gives away tension tends to worsen the situation. Stay calm, make eye contact, and lower your voice. Calm has a powerful ability to recall peace.
Your kid is having a temper tantrum
Use your time-out card. Calmly take your child to a quiet place and explain why their behavior isn’t acceptable. Then tell them that they can return to their game once they’ve calmed down and wait for 2 minutes. If arguing or screaming restarts, start counting down the 2 minutes again.
Your older boy or girl doesn’t want to listen to you
Allow for the consequences of their bad behavior if you’re sure they won’t harm him or her. They’ll be able to learn from their mistakes. “I told you so” is prohibited!
Have you ever practiced any of these tips? Would you also say parents are impacted by spanking their kids? Have your say below!
Illustrated by Daniil Shubin and Ekaterina Gapanovich for BrightSide.me