7 Types of Mother-Daughter Relationships and How Each of Them Influences the Daughter’s Life
We can’t choose the family we are born into, and this fact gives us the foundation of our future and shapes our personalities. People are different, and moms are no exception. Some become a mismatch with their kids, and some make a perfect team. But no matter what the case is, we will always love our moms, because this kind of love is unconditional.
Here at Bright Side we understand how different the relationships between mothers and daughters can be, and we came up with 7 types. Read through this article to find yours and figure out how it might have affected you as a child.
In this case, mother and daughter are absolute equals, behaving more like sisters. They can even compete with each other, and the mother wants it this way so she avoids actual motherhood. A reverse of the roles can also take place, when the daughter takes on the supportive role and becomes the “mother” to her own mother, being responsible, caring, and providing other parental behaviors.
How it affects the daughter: Girls raised by these mothers are often more responsible and become leaders. They value the boundaries between people, but at the same time, they might feel unloved, emotionally neglected, and have a fear of rejection.
2. Best Friends
This relationship is built on trust, and the mother is the first person a girl goes to with her thoughts and problems. This mother is very much involved in her daughter’s life and supports her, always knowing what to say, and being whoever her daughter needs her to be: a best friend, a love expert, a shopping partner, or even a partner in crime.
How it affects the daughter: Girls with these mothers are not afraid to face challenges and take risks. Since they feel loved and understood, they initiate relationships and don’t have a fear of rejection.
In you prefer to keep your mom out of your life and she is the last one to hear about what’s going on in it, your relationship probably belongs to this type. In this case, mother and daughter do not involve each other in their lives and don’t share any problems or thoughts, at least the really important ones, unless it’s necessary, and they practically almost don’t know each other.
How it affects the daughter: Children with detached relationships with their parents are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and they’re more likely to have low self-esteem. In addition, it may also lead to a frustrating relationship with their life partner later in life. At the same time, the girl grows up to be very responsible and independent, since she could always solve her problems by herself.
This case is similar to the previous one, but it’s a one-sided case and it involves a narcissist. Either one is focused on herself only and cares more about her image and what people think, rather than about the actual relationship or the person. She’s trying to look perfect from the outside, but devalues her mother/daughter in reality.
How it affects the daughter: In cases where the mother is the narcissist: Instead of actually feeling loved, the daughter stays emotionally needy and needs constant reassurance of other people’s feelings. What’s good, is that she is a great support to others and is very loyal and insightful with people. If the daughter is the narcissist and the mother doesn’t try to change her attitude, the girl might grow up being selfish and ignorant toward others.
This is another case of one-sided rejection that typically involves the mothers playing the ones who are doing the dismissing. This happens when she ignores or dismisses her daughter’s achievements, no matter what she did. It’s a case where the mother is hard to impress and where she never says she’s proud of her daughter, being either totally apathetic or trying to make her daughter try even harder to reach the unreachable.
How it affects the daughter: Raised by these mothers, girls grow up experiencing deep self-doubt and feeling unworthy of attention or any kind of feelings. At the same time, they desperately long for love and recognition.
6. The Cheerleader
In this case a mom is her daughter’s best cheerleader, wanting her to get the most out of life and experience everything. This mother is very involved in her daughter’s life and wants to be a part of it, refusing to acknowledge any kind of boundaries between them and never leaving her side. She lives through her daughter’s achievements, being both supportive and demanding. It often stems from the mother’s dreams she didn’t realize herself and the things she didn’t experience.
How it affects the daughter: With this kind of a mother, a girl can lose her sense of self, and might become dependent on people, always needing somebody by her side and not being able to make her own decisions.
This is a case that involves an over-controlling mother who micromanages her daughter constantly, being sure she’ll fail without her guidance. She never gives her daughter a choice, nor does she value her words or opinions. She is very demanding at the same time, saying she does it for her daughter’s “own good.” The daughter, in turn, either openly or quietly, rebels.
How it affects the daughter: Girls with these mothers are hypercritical of themselves, have a low self-esteem, and tend to devalue their own opinions, which may lead to depression. On a positive note, these girls are very responsible and committed in their relationships.
Which type do you belong to and what did you find the hardest and the best about it? Share your thoughts with us in comments.