6 Reasons Why Forgive and Forget Isn’t for Everyone and Our Bodies Can Tell

Science says that people are born uniquely when it comes to their ability to forgive. There are differing brain structures for human beings who quickly move on and those who find it difficult to let go. Moreover, forgiving and forgetting are challenging for some of us, and we can say why.

Bright Side always wants to promote mental health and self-love. That’s why we created a list about putting yourself first in times of emotional battles with your significant others.

1. It raises our blood pressure.

While it is necessary to get on your feet and on with forgiving, it is inevitable for us to overthink what just happened. Overthinking leads to stressful moments and can lead to us having high blood pressure.

Our body produces more hormones whenever we feel stressed. That’s why our hearts beat faster, while narrowing our blood vessels in the process.

2. It triggers bad memories.

Sometimes, it’s better to set your boundaries first before fully healing through forgiveness. This is highly advisable for people who have undergone extreme experiences that may have put their lives and mental health at risk.

3. It inspires discomfort.

Forcibly making yourself forgive and forget a hurtful happening may let you think that what you’re feeling deep inside is wrong. It is more invalidating and uncomfortable when the experience is traumatic and impossible to be let go of quickly.

4. It impairs social skills.

Often frowned upon, being angry when dealing with forgiving someone is actually okay. In fact, it gives you control over the situation. But too much anger can cause minimal contact with friends and acquaintances over time.

5. It invites guilt.

Rumination is a habit of replaying our past mistakes in our heads. It is an unhealthy coping behavior we usually do when we blame ourselves for a misunderstanding. In this case, overthinking whether to forgive a person or not can make us dwell on our misgivings too much, increasing the chances of depression and anxiety.

6. It lowers confidence.

Forcing yourself to forgive and forget a bad memory may make you question your abilities to socialize and communicate with people, slowly lowering your self-esteem. Also, conceding and giving in to the situation, especially when you’re not at fault, can worsen it.

Bonus: It may be different for all and hard for some but forgiving and forgetting is the ultimate endgame.

All these are true, but your body will eventually give up when you hold onto the past much longer. While your emotional health heals as you forgive and forget past mistakes, your physical and mental well-being do, too.

Which of these moments have you experienced while mending a broken heart? Which of these do you strongly recommend?