Trust is a very tricky thing. Our brain takes less than 1 second to decide if we can believe someone or not, but if its decisions were correct, there would be no divorces, destroyed friendships, or cheating. That’s why people tend to be suspicious and not trust anyone they meet immediately. But if you wish to score points with someone, there are some proven methods to do it.
Bright Side looked through tons of information and picked out the most intriguing tips that can make anyone believe what you say.
Have you heard about the “reciprocity of liking” phenomenon? It refers to the tendency for people to like someone who likes them. This happens because people feel warmth and support from their partner, and it’s also rewarding to know that you’re likable. So if one day you need to gain someone’s attention, show a positive attitude toward them, and you will be likely to receive the same amount of love.
This advice may seem weird. Why do we have to spoil a first impression by making a clumsy mistake? But a lot of studies confirm that pointing out our vulnerability actually increases our attractiveness and trustworthiness.
But there are 2 important facts you should remember. Before telling a bad joke or dropping a pencil you have to be sure that the person is aware of your high performance and credibility. And try not to make yourself vulnerable in a way that questions your reputation. “Psychiatrists can build trust by spilling their coffee and saying, ’I’ve never been very good with my hands.’ Surgeons can’t do that.”
Another effective but often forgotten method to build trust is to say, “I am sorry!” Researchers note that this works for situations where you are obviously not at fault. For example, by saying, “I’m sorry about the rain,” you express empathy and regret that something sad has happened to people. You show that you understand their experience, and this considerably increases their belief in you.
No, it doesn’t mean you have to eat a lot of bananas or jump on trees. This is about imitating face expressions, gestures, speech patterns, or behavior of your partner. This technique is called mirroring, and it really works.
For example, in the course of this study, waitresses received higher tips when mimicking customers at the restaurant. More research showed that men evaluated women more favorably in speed dating if women repeated verbal and nonverbal behavior of their dates. If you are going to use this method, remember to mirror only positive patterns. It is better not to repeat actions such as looking or turning away.
Self-disclosure is probably one of the most impressive approaches. Do you remember your feelings when you opened up about important things in your life — with excitement, voice trembling, and shivers down the spine? When you share some intimate information with other people, they feel your worries and get closer to you. This means that they can confide some of their secrets in you too.
And this is also a science-based fact. The research conducted by several educational institutions showed that students who asked each other private questions developed closer relations compared to groups who did not share any intimate information.
Some specialists confirm that the right speed of your speech can help to build trust and not lose your partner’s attention. We believe it would be wrong to say that you have to choose one speech pace and follow it every time. It appears that each situation needs its own rate. For example, fast speaking indicates urgency, excitement, emotion, and passion while a slow tempo helps to focus on importance, the seriousness of a point, or the introduction of a new idea.
It seems that casual touch can also become a powerful catalyst of trust building. A lot of curious and sometimes provocative studies demonstrate its effectiveness. When an attractive man asked for phone numbers from young women on the street, he touched some of them for the sake of science. 19% of the women who were touched (and only 10% of those who were not touched) provided their numbers.
When employing this method keep in mind social and cultural norms. Touch is less likely to have any beneficial effects if you violate personal boundaries.
We assume that ego suspension is the most difficult way to make someone trust you. When applying this approach, you are supposed to focus on the needs, wants, and perception of reality of another person rather than on your own beliefs. “Most times, when 2 individuals engage in a conversation, each patiently waits for the other person to be done with whatever story he or she is telling. Then, the other person tells his or her own story, usually on a related topic and often times in an attempt to have a better and more interesting story.”
At the next meeting with a new person, try to not focus on yourself and your stories that always kill, but ask questions and show a great interest in your partner. We believe you will be thrilled with the result.
Do you have any problems getting along with people? What technique would you try first?
Won't agree with #2
There are many people who don't like when other touch them, especially if they are being touched by a close person. You should always be careful, because tactile contact means different for different people.
Do you guys like when others hug you, hold your hand and so?
This person is me :)
I get shy and uncomfortable when someone not really close accidentally touches me, or tries to give me a hug.
As for me, I really like when someone randomly hugs me, or takes my hand (in a hood way, for sure). I feel warm and happy. Hugs are especially important for me, and I also like to give them to other people :)
Agree with these tips. And one more really important one - always look at their eyes and sincerely smile!
I get along with people really easy, because I always make some silly jokes about things around me and myself too. The most important part is to keep these jokes harmless to anyone.
Other than that, making people laugh around you always helps to make them be friendlier to you :)
