How to deal with ’naughty’ kids
Every parent encounters 'naughty' kids at least once in a while. Tantrums are a headache, and there isn't a single family that wouldn't like to avoid them altogether.
However, it often happens that tantrums are brought on by the behavior of the parents themselves - and we at Bright Side are ready to help you avoid such mistakes.
A child's naughtiness may:
- Make you feel helpless
- Make you pity and sympathize
- Annoy you
- Wear you down
- Frighten you
But never can it make you happy!
And you surely wouldn't want your child to throw tantrums on a regular basis.
All you have to do is follow these simple guidelines to set things back on the right path.
Let's have a look.
Tip Number 1: Set limits
Understanding your child's wishes is crucial. So let's fulfill every wish of theirs! And if the wish is not a good one, let them sort it out for themselves. Doesn't this guarantee that your child will be happy and sure of their parents' love?
No, it doesn't.
When children have their whims fulfilled without question, they, strangely, don't feel their parents' protection. You make them feel like they should decide what they need, while the parents just provide them with it. Such responsibility is too great for a little person, and, as a result, you will get tantrums.
Tip Number 2: Allow some independence
The essence of this is that you think your child is too young to understand what's good for them, so you decide every little thing yourself...yes, even the smallest choices are made by you. 'Put on the blue dress, red doesn't become you.' 'Drink your milk, or you'll have bad teeth,' and so on.
You may be absolutely right, of course, but if your child lives with constant limitations, they will eventually rebel against them. And they will do it in a most obvious way - by throwing a tantrum, which, if not successful, will most certainly repeat later.
Tip Number 3: Be consistent
We are all human, and we may be in good or bad moods or have our ups and downs. In other words, we can't behave the same way all the time.
This is why we treat our children differently every day - or even within the same day! Right now we are patient and kind, and the next moment we explode for seemingly no reason; today we prohibit watching too many cartoons, and tomorrow we will be too busy and will allow anything just to keep them quiet. We're not robots, and they should understand that, right?
No, they shouldn't! They can't guess why you do such confusing things. Parents are the example for their children, shaping everything they will become. And if the example is constantly changing and is never the same? Then the children have no stability or clarity. And they throw tantrums.
Tip Number 4: Keep regular hours
Your child doesn't go to school, or has two days off in a row - why bother with keeping boring proper hours?
You may do perfectly well without them yourself, and you may even handle everything with no strict schedule. However, a child without a timetable has no feeling of solid ground, because there seems to be no law for the world he or she lives in. And that, along with physical discomfort and tiredness due to lack of eating and sleeping regimen, leads to outbursts.
Tip Number 5: Limit TV and computer time
Every child loves cartoons and computer games - they are ready to watch or play for hours at a time, if offered. They memorize plots and find their favorite characters. It is developing their memory, it's a great pastime, and you're free to do anything while your child is busy. Right? Not quite.
Such development is quite limited, and the harm is rather tangible. Any cartoons, and especially computer games, stimulate the agitation processes, which are very strong in children even without such stimuli. An over-excited child will look for a way to spend their excess energy, and they will eventually find it in regular tantrums.
Tip Number 6: Set consequences
How could you punish a child?! This is cruel and obsolete, not to speak of showing your weakness toward a defenseless child. The most you can do is show them that you're not happy with them.
If you agree with the above, then it's bad news for you: your child won't know the boundaries and their consequences. And that will be on you, because you haven't set them firmly. This makes the child feel afraid and try to find them - and the most unacceptable behavior in this case is, of course, a tantrum. Because how else could they reach you?
Tip Number 7: Don't give in to a tantrum
Your child has been crying incessantly for 15 minutes now, and you are tired. Or you pity them. Or you are just ashamed because other people are watching. Whatever the case, you indulge your child.
And that's how the child understands that their screams are stronger than your will.
Welcome to Tantrumland.
Tip Number 8: Don't shout at your child
Your child has angered you with his or her bad behavior, clumsiness, or something else - and you've lost your temper and started shouting.
This will probably reach the child, and they will stop doing whatever angered you so much. However, you have just given them a good lesson in shouting. So don't complain when they give it back to you.
Tip Number 9: Restrain negative emotions
What if your child has done nothing wrong, but you, on the other hand, have everything falling apart and your mood can't be worse?
Would you restrain your feelings, or let them out in a fury of screams, shouts, and tears?
In case of the latter, your child won't really scold you for being naughty, but will surely take note of such behavior.
Tip Number 10: Pay attention to your child
You are really, really busy. You certainly care about your child in terms of their safety, health, and comfort. However, finding time for playing games or patience for the constantly talking child can be next to impossible.
Well, why bother? Let the child play on their own and stop terrorizing you, because you're tired. Your child will get used to this and do as they are told, but you'd better not be surprised by sudden naughtiness. Your child still hopes to drag you out of your business and to him or her.
Parenting mistakes are quite common, but their price is too high. With your own unrestraint, overindulgence, inconsistency, overstrictness, or over-busyness, you make your children nervous and naughty.
You are capable of avoiding this. You only have to cherish, understand, respect, and love your kids. And your family may not have tantrums at all.