Bright Side

Signs That Indicate We’re Ruining Our Lives Without Even Realizing It

If you don't want to wake up one day and realize you have no passion for anything in life, read this article and start to get rid of some bad habits.

Bright Side wants to draw your attention to some everyday moments that bring negative energy into our lives that we all face from time to time. There are 4 things we do on a daily basis that actually ruin our lives.

4. Having the wrong people around

We all try to speed up our lives and relationships. It usually happens because we're afraid to be alone. No one wants to feel lonely. Trying to change the situation as fast as possible, we make decisions that can affect our future. Not too many people are able to understand that loneliness can be really useful.

Don't be in a hurry when it comes to your life. A hectic lifestyle can exhaust you really fast. To be more confident and brave, analyze your past. In this case, you have to stay alone for a while. Loneliness gives us an opportunity to get to know ourselves better. Being all alone, we grow, realize what actually inspires us, know what we really want, and achieve harmony with ourselves.

Everything has two sides and loneliness isn't an exception to this rule. You just have to understand how much time you need so that it won't depress you. Loneliness doesn't have to cause discomfort at all.

And God stepped out on space, and he looked around and said, "I'm lonely— I'll make me a world."
James Weldon Johnson

3. Not expressing your feelings

We become reserved if we've overcome lots of difficulties in our lives. When we meet new people, we try to avoid saying something wrong, we're afraid to show that our close friends mean a lot to us. There are people who think that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. As a rule, such people aren't brave and courageous enough. In fact, they deprive themselves of the brightest moments in their lives.

Of course, when we open our hearts, we become vulnerable. But being vulnerable isn't a bad thing. When a person is vulnerable, they're ready to accept someone's care. Each moment we manage to express our love and devotion is magical. Don't be afraid to open up to people. Fall in love! Love requires courage and bravery. All in all, you'll understand that expressing your feelings is worth the price.

2. You can't forgive and forget.

"Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits."
Hannah More

There are some moments and events in our lives that we don't want to recall: a creative crisis, a betrayal, or offensive words. Everyone has to face such challenges. Don't let bad incidents affect your self-esteem.

When you keep carrying your past with you, you "crumble". We go to work and take a lunch box along with our hurt that we can't live without. In other words, it's a kind of self-destruction.

We miss career growth opportunities because we think we don't deserve it. We let our one true love go because we think we're not good enough. Hurt feelings spoil our lives.

To break out of this vicious circle, try to get rid of all resentment and grief. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Forget about all your patterns of behavior and leave your past behind. Try to remember that you're almighty when it comes to your destiny.

1. Comparing yourself to others

Reasons why it harms us:

  • We compare our drawbacks to others' advantages.
  • We don't gain anything, we just lose our dignity, passion, and devotion.
  • Our achievements don't help us because we always find someone to compare ourselves to.
  • We waste our energy on another person instead of spending it on ourselves.
  • Comparing doesn't let us be happy.
  • Each person is unique. That's why it's unfair to compare different people.

If these emotions ring a bell, you have to do the following:

1. Pay attention to your achievements.

You have your own experiences and opinions. You're able to do good things and make this world better. Don't forget about your previous success and achievements, they motivate you to move forward.

2. Remind yourself that no one's perfect.

Everyone has their own problems. You can't win without struggling and overcoming challenges. Keep this in mind when you want to compare yourself to someone you think is better than you. Try to understand that this person has already gone through difficulties themselves to become better.

3. Find examples that motivate you.

Find someone who inspires and motivates you. However, this doesn't mean you should compare yourself to them. Pay attention to the lives of people you admire: read about them, check their photos, and get inspired.

If you can't help but compare yourself to people around you, try to compare yourself to yourself. We have to try to become better than we are. This method can help you remember your everyday achievements and honor them.

Have you ever faced any of these situations? How did you cope with them? Share your experience with us in the comments.

Illustrated by Oleg Guta for Bright Side
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