You can’t jump into a long-distance relationship (LDR) with the same mindset as when you’re in a regular relationship. With a little foresight and planning, you can avoid stepping on the small emotional mines that blow up most LDRs.
Bright Side put together a manual of 10 golden ideas that will help you nurture your long-distance relationship and turn it into long-lasting love. The last 2 points are essential for all relationships. Are you working on them?
Do not be afraid to talk about any negative thoughts or questions you have. But don’t rush to voice them the second they creep into your mind. Give it a bit of time and space, and see if you keep feeling the same way and if a certain question keeps popping up. You’ll realize that negative feelings come and go with or without a reason.
Leave the toughest questions and disagreements for a discussion in person. Video calls and typing, in particular, leave a lot of room for misunderstanding. It should be your golden rule to discuss serious topics when both of you are in the same room.
Discuss your feelings to learn each other’s behavior in a stressed or conflict situation. How do you behave when you are emotionally overwhelmed? How does your partner behave in a conflict? Learning this will help both of you be more productive in resolving problems. Identify their behavior, wait a day, and then tackle the underlying problem.
What if, in addition to chats, you write a letter and mail it?! Bring a bit of adventure and romance into your relationship. Go on a long-distance date, surprise them with small gifts, or book an hour of massage for your partner.
Do not expect or ask your partner to answer every message right away. Accept that both of you have a life full of work, unexpected things to take care of, and personal hobbies. Discuss how often you can meet online and how much time you will have to be online and respond to each other’s messages. This will help you set up successful and healthy communication.
You can choose to be sad about the distance or choose to become even more awesome for your partner. Get a new hobby, try new things, meet new people. Share your new experiences, discoveries, and thoughts with your partner. Do not be afraid to be happy and excited about your life. It’s more attractive!
Try to find something that both of you enjoy doing, be it yoga, a dance course, reading the same book, or watching the same movie. Do it together but miles apart. This will help you to fill in your conversations with interesting content. If you keep talking only about your love and emotions, you won’t last long.
Talking to each other is important, but talking too much can be dangerous as conversations can turn dull. How to get the right balance? It depends on both of you. The best idea is to discuss and agree on how much time both of you need in a week or a day. Not typing, but hearing each other’s voice.
You need to discuss ways or ideas of being intimate, not just physically but in all areas of your daily life. For example, find intimate couple moments to video chat (have a "Skype breakfast" together, watch your man shave, or watch your partner choose a work outfit).
Even though technology makes communication easy, you need to make it feel special.
Choose to trust your partner. Ask yourself why you feel jealous. Is it a lack of confidence on your part or a lack of trust? Either way, most pangs of jealousy aren’t based on facts, just feelings.
If your partner actually does something to make you feel jealous, choose to admit your feelings in an honest way, not a spiteful one. These difficult conversations will give you immense confidence in each other.
Which one of these points is the hardest? Share your opinion in the comments.