10 Things That Poison Your Life
There is an opinion that people treat you exactly the way you let them, and this is largely true.
Bright Side has compiled a list of things you should not allow others to do. This will make your life better.
- You are shamed for your appearance or preferences. We must note that this is about dress code or manners: you must follow the rules. But if someone speaks out negatively about your clothes, shape, or choice of spouse, please don’t start making excuses. You are not guilty of anything and do not owe anything to anyone. Remember that nosy people probably don’t have much going on in their own lives.
- You are forced to choose between your career and personal life. Alas, this happens very often, both at work and at home. But there is no law requiring you to abandon your family in favor of work or vice versa. Therefore, you do not have to succumb to pressure from your work or your family and devote all your time to just one. Communicating your needs to both sides and good time management will help you excel at work and find time for your loved ones, as well as hobbies and entertainment.
- Everything in the world is decided for you. It is possible that your mom and dad really know this life better than you, even if you are already a parent yourself. But this does not give them the right to impose their choice on you, however good it might seem. This is your life. You will bear the consequences of your decisions, so you have the right to make them. In the end, it’s better to be a happy, albeit not very famous, designer than a wealthy lawyer who can’t get out of depression.
- Relationships that make you unhappy. Someone once joked, "You are always crying because of your relationship? Who is it you’re dating: a person or an onion?" We do not urge you to immediately break up if your partner upsets you. But if your life without this person is easier than with them, you should ponder why you are still together.
- Coercion to sex, even if by your spouse. Your body belongs only to you, and "conjugal rights" don’t mean that you can be used without regard for your desires and well-being. An adequate spouse or partner will sympathize with your refusal. In the case where the opposite happens and you are accused of selfishness, you have a serious reason to rethink your relationship.
- Constant deception. Do not overlook systematic lies from your relatives, friends, or spouse. If you decide to keep a relationship without trust going, then tell the other party that you know everything, without judgment. Changing this person is not your concern; you can only provide support. But know that if someone really loves and respects you, they will not lie to you in the first place.
- Being disrespected at work. Unfortunately, many people are forced to tolerate disrespect by an employer or colleagues. If you find yourself in a similar situation, then ask yourself if you need this job badly enough to endure daily humiliation. Do not hesitate to fight for your rights, and don’t be afraid to respond gracefully but firmly if you are bullied.
- Physical and emotional abuse. There is no justification for those who systematically hit or humiliate you. Your safety is of the utmost importance, and you should not be with a person who constantly threatens your physical and mental health and even your life. You have every right to break all contacts with the abuser and report them.
- Constant control. If someone controls your every move, be it parents, friends, or a partner, this doesn’t mean they simply care a lot. Everyone needs personal space, and relationships are impossible without mutual trust. If the situation is left to chance, it could develop into real tyranny.
- Reproaches for “imperfection.“ Perfection is a myth. True, the images of the ”ideal child,“ “real man,” or ”dream girl" are in the mind of almost everyone, but this doesn’t give anyone the right to scold their loved ones for missing the mark. Do not give in to those who insist on you changing your hair or working out. Your changes don’t guarantee that they will love you more. You don’t have to deserve love, and any demands will only get more absurd over time. That said, if someone is genuinely concerned about your health or well-being, do listen to their advice.
Preview by Marat Nugumanov, pictures by Alena Tsarkova for BrightSide.me