10 Things to Be Discussed Before Getting Married
When we are bathing in romance we see our darlings as truly ideal creatures. This is really awesome, but if you want a happy marriage you should know each other better in every possible way.
Bright Side wants to help you before you are enjoying your first dance at your wedding! And make sure to read up to the end: there’s an ultimate truth about married life there.
10. Hobbies and private space
Family values can be tricky for artistic personalities, and they can even be scary for such people. But coupledom is not a sentence. If before getting married you are mutually interested in each other’s hobbies (no matter if it is Zumba or extreme diving), the emotional exchange can make you closer in the future.
9. Benefits and drawbacks
Sometimes it takes years to learn something about a partner’s demerits, but there are some couples that are happy to know all the drawbacks from the very beginning of the relationship. This is truly the best variant of all! The earlier you have an opportunity to evaluate the merits and accept the drawbacks in your beloved’s character and appearance, the better. You’ll have a higher chance of avoiding disappointment.
8. Parents, kids, and pets
Here are the key questions: How many kids do you want, and when is the best time to have them? Are you going to live with your parents or separately? Do you want one cat or a dozen? The last 2 questions can be easily talked about, but if your partner wants one kid 10 years from now and you’re dreaming of a Yours, Mine & Ours type of family, you’ll have to think everything over.
People in love usually share expenses without any deep analysis. However, income amounts are different nowadays. "Romantic" spendings, of course, should not be thoroughly analyzed, but if you are going to support each other financially, just start discussing the balance and create some rules which are comfortable for both of you.
Even the most passionate couples sometimes see that they have different needs and fancies. Try to examine each other instead of quarreling and double-speaking. Knowing some small secrets will be helpful both in “passionate“ and ”calm" periods of your life. You are also welcome to watch various documentary films and take funny tests on the topic. Of course, you should not forget about a glass of good wine.
5. Priorities, traditions, and religion
Experts say that religious and traditional conflicts in a family usually start after a baby is born. Both parents want to give their child the cultural background they consider the best. This background can be different for the father and the mother, so it’s a good idea to create a plan, the main aim of which is harmony and the child’s future.
4. Trust and jealousy
Some question whether trust exists or not, but is it really necessary to push your luck? It is better to discuss all the alarming questions beforehand. Do you feel the same way about monogamy, party behavior, flirting, and working trips? If you know what makes each of you jealous, you can be more tender.
3. Challenging issues and disagreements
There is no sense in quarreling intentionally, but it’s okay to analyze the reaction of your partner in case his or her views are not identical to yours. There will be no serious argument if you create "conflict rules" beforehand. You can break dishes, go to another room, or draw your emotions on a notice board — anything will do.
2. The "language" of love
The "5 love languages" rule has 5 variants of love reflection and acceptance. They are serving, confirming, quality of time, getting presents, and touching. Having a priority list of all the mentioned patterns, you are able to concentrate on the most important traits.
1. Your future
How do both of you see your future? Are the "happy pictures" the same? Why not play a wonderful game? You need to take a piece of paper and, in turn, draw everything you want to do together in the future. It can be anything: your wedding, your house and children, traveling, etc. Mutual games and quests make you closer and help to develop your relationship.
And finally, the ultimate truth about marriage
Make sure you’re ready to understand that the essence of marriage is that you’ll share the rest of your life with another person. No matter how much personal space you give each other, there’ll always be a man or a woman in your life who’s your chosen one, and that’s the end to certain freedoms you’d both had before marriage. But that’s even a good thing if you think about it, right?