11 Rules From Couples Who Survived Rough Patches in Their Relationship and Now Live a Happy Life
When deciding to spend an entire life with someone, many people don’t even realize all the difficulties that they’ll have to go through together with their beloved. Luckily, there are certain rules that allow couples to live happily ever after.
At Bright Side, we carefully read through and analyzed some psychological studies and gathered a list of 11 rules of long-lasting love.
11. If you don’t like something — just say it.
There’s nothing worse than saying, “Do you remember how it used to be 2 years ago?” You’re being devoured by your offense and it destroys your relationship. Discuss your problems, mention your concerns, and talk about everything, no matter how insignificant it may seem. And then — just leave it in the past! It’s so easy to let the situation go once it’s already been worked through.
10. Practice common rituals: breakfast, jogging, bathing.
It’s no secret that small and pleasant everyday rituals can really help diversify even the dullest of daily routines. Common rituals work as the “emotional barometer” that help maintain your mutual affection. You’ll think about your breakfast together before going to sleep at night or imagine your weekly movie night while sitting at work. Such “anchors” prevent relationships from burning out.
9. Don’t be afraid of being “real.”
We aren’t always allowed to be ourselves to the fullest. There are some small and big things that we can afford only when we are alone. Someone may be embarrassed to sing in public and can do it only while showering. Someone may be afraid to dance in clubs and can bust a move only in the kitchen. We’re always afraid that our particular features will be taken for abnormalities. As the experience of elderly couples shows, they love each other for such a long time because of these particular “quirky” features.
8. Put yourself first.
A healthy portion of egoism is a good thing. In toxic relationships, you may often hear the things like “we went there,” “we are watching this now,” and in the most severe cases — “we think.” When you begin dating, you fall in love with a personality, so don’t lose this object of affection. Never give up living your own life.
Everything is good to a certain extent, of course. Common hobbies and interests are very important for a healthy relationship, but you should always remember about yourself.
7. Give compliments.
Compliment not only the appearance of your partner but also his or her actions or thoughts. And finally, forget about criticism. There are many people in this world who can point out your partner’s drawbacks.
6. Allow your partner to think and act as they please.
Support and respect. Perhaps, these are the key points of any relationship that are listed by all psychologists and yet are still forgotten by many couples.
You as a person have the right to be interested in whatever you decide to be — from keeping snails at home to hang-gliding. Despite your mom’s, colleague’s or neighbor’s opinion about it, your partner should support you to help you withstand any criticism and give you the courage to act.
5. Kiss each other when you meet and when you leave.
And any other time! Kissing is very important for a relationship — it supports your emotional connection. The first kiss is a test to see whether this person suits you, all the following kisses are supposed to prove you were right.
Recently, the functions of kisses were studied at the University of Oxford. The participants of the study who were in a committed relationship claimed that the number of kisses (and not sexual intercourse, for example) showed the level of satisfaction in the relationship.
4. Express your feelings.
Realize your feelings, catch the moments of positive emotions, talk about your fears and desires, and talk about your love. A healthy level of emotional affection is the power that helps you and your relationship grow.
By saying things like “I love you,” “I’ll help,” “I understand,” “I’m sorry,” “Thank you,” “I appreciate everything that you do,” “I’m so happy to see you,” “You’re doing great,” you’ll make your relationship stronger every day.
3. Touch each other.
Hugging when you see each other, holding hands in the cinema, kissing in the morning, giving a massage after a long day at work — touching provides a feeling of safety and trust. This satisfies basic human instincts and creates healthy affection for the object of your love.
Our soul lives in our body. Touching our partner’s body, we touch their soul, as well. This is how we show our love.
2. Be thankful.
We easily say, “Thank you” to a passer-by that opens a door for us, to a shop assistant, or to a stranger on the road. However, at home, we forget to thank our partner for a cup of tea, clean clothes, or a tasty dinner. We easily get used to good treatment and take it for granted. Gratitude is the basis of a good relationship.
You can easily check this! Write a list of things that you want to thank your partner for. Reading this list, you’ll feel a rising tide of love and tenderness to this special person near you.
1. Be realistic about your partner.
Psychologists are convinced that the best marriage is a marriage of convenience, which means that it’s important to keep a few things in mind:
- refuse of the original illusions;
- realize and accept the probability of major changes in your partner;
- you are absolutely different — just accept it;
- your feelings will never be the same.
A relationship is always about 2 people, no more and no less. Having contradictions, it is important to meet halfway in order to solve them. If you’ve taken your 5 steps and haven’t seen anyone coming to meet you, think carefully about whether or not this is the right person for you.
Do you have your own tips on how to live happily ever after? Share them with us in the comments!