Most of us often have to give up something to gain more than we have. Especially if we speak about our beloved ones. But there are certain actions that will spoil your life and not strengthen your relationship. These actions don’t allow you to be happy.
Bright Side will tell you about things a wise person won’t do for their partner. You will find out the reason at the end of this article.
It’s evident that you like someone’s appearance at first. We fall in love with an image, and we accept it as it is. And if you like the way you are but you decide to change your image or you start jogging in the mornings to meet the expectations your beloved has, you should ask yourself, Is this the person I want to be with?
Sometimes both men and women compare their partners with exes, parents, and even neighbors and colleagues. Mark Twain said, “Comparison is the death of joy.“ And scientists add that it also leads to depression. A depressed person is not a person who is being compared but a person who compares (your partner). But you will also feel really bad after hearing ”She earns more than you!" or “She is a better cook!”
It’s really tempting to change a person to be the way you want, and we often try to do it. It’s good if we help someone to get rid of a bad habit. But what if your partner doesn’t like your hobby or your traits of character?
It’s important to understand whether it’s a trifle or not: in some cases, minor things can be omitted for the sake of relationships, and sometimes your partner just overreacts. For example:
It’s no secret that the times when people divided their household chores by gender have passed. Modern men can cook well, and most women can fix a tap. That’s why housekeeping should be done by both men and women. You shouldn’t do or request household chores by gender. Your partner and you can do it together: scientific research shows that such couples are happier and their relationships are stronger.
A good sense of humor is essential for relationships, but the key word is "good." You shouldn’t endure jokes that show disrespect. You don’t have to get used to it. John Gottman, a professor who works on relationship analysis, concluded that excessive sarcasm is one of the main causes of divorce.
Close people are always ready to support us, whether we are single or not. Sometimes they also need our attention, and your partner should understand this. The emotions that we get from our relatives and friends differ from the emotions we get from our beloved. These emotions are not better or worse, just different. And we need them to feel comfortable.
It’s good to have a common bank account, but you can also have a personal one. It’s not a betrayal or an avarice but a chance to be independent in a difficult situation that may occur. If you feel financial stability, you care less about trifles and pay more attention to your relationship.
Psychologists claim that good relationships can’t exist without trust. Your life becomes more colorful if you can relax and trust your partner. Try to remember some happy moments and times when you hardly felt worried.
It’s important to understand that the ability to trust depends on both. Our upbringing, bad experiences, and psychological traumas influence our capability to be openhearted. You can see a specialist if it’s needed. But if your distrust is caused by lies and irresponsibility, you should ask yourself, Am I ready to live like this?
Everyone has their own beliefs and views based on their experience and personal perception of the world. If you violate your principles, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to live your life to the fullest. The reality should meet your expectations if you want to be happy. If your partner has different views, you can’t forbid them, but you definitely shouldn’t agree with them.
The more things that we do that are contrary to our desires, the more distressed we become. As a result, we always feel that something is missing, and our life becomes dull.
That’s why when you go for a walk to the forest instead of your favorite river, listen to yourself: do you have an awful feeling that someone else lives your happy life?
It’s okay if sometimes you need to sacrifice something for the sake of your relationship. You have to be ready to compromise. But when you have the choice of traveling to Tibet (and you’ve been dreaming about it for 5 years) or staying home with your beloved just because they want you to, the question is what is more important: your dream or your relationship? There is only one answer: someone who truly loves you will never make you decide between your beloved and your dream.
In conclusion, each decision should be made only if it doesn’t deprive both of you of happiness. Because unhappy people can’t build happy relationships.
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