12 Things We Need to Know About Real Love
When you are in love and have a healthy relationship, it can reduce anxiety levels, and this has been scientifically proven. You can even start looking better or feel less stressed at work. Hugging and kissing produce sensations of calmness, security, and contentment.
We at Bright Side want for everyone to have the experience of being truly loved and found 12 things that happen to you when you meet your soulmate.
1. Love is sharing not only the good moments, but also the bad ones.
Romantic love can last and studies prove it. But the main thing is an action from you and to you. Love is as a verb, not a noun. If you come back home tired after work and see your partner waiting for an exciting evening, instead of helping you, there is a disconnect between the 2 of you. It doesn’t mean that you need to break up immediately, but a nice explanation is necessary.
If your partner only sees you as an object to have fun with all the time, it can ruin you psychologically. You need to be actively in tune with the needs of your spouse.
2. True love is an action.
True love also includes going through bad phases. It is a common thing to feel lonely sometimes in your relationship, according to psychologists. It happens when a couple has lost their emotional connection.
If you both love each other, you try to work on it to avoid any misunderstandings. For example, in long-term relationships, some couples try to visit a psychologist or try to talk more to each other to solve the problem of loneliness.
It should feel natural to be with your partner and work through anything to achieve that future you’ve been dreaming of, brick-by-brick.
3. You both know your boundaries and keep them.
A healthy relationship and love always have their boundaries. It’s like a certain agreement between you both where no one tries to be the “dictator.” If your communication is based solely on fun, sooner or later there will be a problem.
In a healthy relationship, you need to talk and not to be afraid of saying something when you feel someone is overstepping their boundaries. Opting for discussions, rather than quarrels, shows that you both have respect for one another.
Therapist Bridget Levy shares that it is important to know that boundaries that use the words “always” or “never” don’t work. Of course, you need to be specific and direct, but using the right words is crucial. There is no place for forbidding things, you should instead opt for more constructive talk.
4. You share a common concept of what true love is.
You support each other, you spend quality time together, and you forgive and appreciate each other. For all couples, their interests and their concept of love can be different: some might prefer to travel, while other couples prefer to stay at home.
It has also been studied that the concept of love can change in a couple. During the first year, serotonin levels return to normal, and the “obsessive” aspects become more moderate. So love becomes calmer and more mature.
5. Love means common goals and desires.
Harmony is a very hard thing to build and reaching common goals can help it. But there are some points that you shouldn’t forget about, according to psychologists. First, make sure that you are specific and realistic in what you want.
Second, don’t forget to celebrate your success together.
6. You share responsibilities.
Feeling that your partner is avoiding responsibility can be very traumatic and unhealthy for the relationship. Saying but not doing may hurt everyone. True love doesn’t try to make you feel worse, but instead makes you stronger and makes you feel more protected.
A good talk can solve some problems. But still, the reasons why people are afraid to have a chat about responsibilities can vary from shame, to fear, to depression. So it is always better to put yourself together and start discussing the obligations and rights of each other.
When both people share responsibilities, there is no imbalance and no one feels a heavier burden. Even if agreements don’t appear in the beginning, it is important to work on them. There are no common rules and each couple has their own way of doing things.
7. Your partner doesn’t try to change who you are and accepts your imperfections.
If you are a creative person and suddenly your partner forces you to change the job that you love because of money, it can be painful. Instead of trying to change our partners, motivating them to grow is a more positive strategy. Support and accepting who your spouse is as a person can bring the relationship to a whole new level.
If you see your loved one confused, lost, or angry, remember that they have a right to their feelings. We are not robots and we are all having a human experience. It’s even OK (and normal) to wake up in the morning with messy hair.
8. If you want true love, there is no place for playing games.
Playing psychological games, victimizing, and love triangles can take a lot of energy and there is no guarantee that a person who you have feelings for will respond with the reaction that you want. Following are examples of the types of games that people play:
- Sending mixed messages
- Making someone feel guilty to get something from them
- Projecting and comparing
- Love triangles
Manipulation is not the solution. You can make a person jealous, for example, but their memory of this will never be erased.
9. There is always time for teamwork when you’re in love.
He is with his friends and you are with yours. He watches a movie in the bedroom and you paint in the living room. Yes, of course, there should be room for a break from each other and separate hobbies, but there should be some teamwork as well. 64% of Americans believe that sharing interests is very important for successful relationships.
Sharing is caring. And caring is a sign of true love. For example, you are going to another city by car. Try to support each other during this trip. One can drive, and the other can be the navigator.
10. You can be vulnerable with a person who loves you.
With an emphasis being put on being strong women and strong men, the world pushes us to ignore the fact that it’s OK to be sensitive. Every day we are tasked with making decisions at work and with friends, but with the person who really loves us, we can let go and be vulnerable.
Moreover, research has shown that being weak can sometimes be very attractive, because we love to see openness in other people.
11. You become a better person when you’re in love.
You are becoming a better person not because someone is forcing you, but because it’s happening naturally. It can be a new healthier lifestyle, a changing of habits, or an upgrade of your house. Better living can be a sign of real love.
12. You start trying new things.
You might hate tap-dancing, but you do it sometimes with your loved one just to make them happy. Or suddenly you may want to try a new cuisine with your partner to share good vibes and a new experience.
Do you know other signs of love? If you love a partner do you accept them as they are? Please share your opinion below!
Illustrated by Alena Sofronova for BrightSide.me