14 Harsh Truths That Reveal Why We Shouldn’t Believe in Love at First Sight
Romeo and Juliet fell in love as soon they first saw each other. Even the timeless romantic movie, Titanic, showed the magic of love at first sight when Jack first saw Rose. But the truth is, love at first sight is not something extraordinary. It can be explained by science and believing in it can have a negative social impact.
Bright Side digs into the realities of instant love and why we should not believe in it.
1. Love at first sight is actually based on our personal bias.
We all have unconscious biases and to judge someone we just met within a few seconds is very much affected by our biases. This is why we are likely to fall in “love at first sight” with someone that looks like our stereotype of a perfect partner.
2. Our hormones kick in and wake up our breeding instinct.
When we are attracted to someone, our hormones, like testosterone and estrogen, start to work to tell us to get intimate. Basically, this is nature’s way of ensuring that the human race doesn’t go extinct. So instant love is really just our basic instinct to breed.
3. Our brain releases a chemical that makes us want more.
After spending intimate time with our partner, our brain releases a chemical called dopamine. It is a strong chemical that makes us think that our experience was amazing and keeps us wanting more. Naturally, we might think that this is only happening because we are smitten by love.
4. There’s another hormone that causes us to become obsessed with that special someone.
When we receive affection from someone we desire, serotonin is triggered. This chemical makes us feel so good and happy that we cannot help but obsess over our partner. Since we find it hard to think about anything else, we tend to think that we are in love.
5. A chemical in our body makes us see the world through rose-tinted glasses.
Known as the “love drug,” phenylethylamine (PEA) makes us see our object of affection as better than they truly are. PEA blinds us to reality and causes us to think that our special someone has no faults.
6. We seek out rewards.
The high we get as a result of all of the chemical reactions that come from love at first sight is very rewarding. Being human, we seek rewards because they make us feel good. As a result, we think that good things happen because we are with someone we are attracted to.
7. There’s also a hormone that makes us feel more attached.
The “cuddle hormone,” oxytocin, is released after we share a bed with someone we are attracted to. The more we share intimate sessions, the greater the bond we feel with that person.
8. Love is about more than just physical appearance.
“At first sight” means 100% based on what the eyes see. But the truth is we are all affected by more than just our sense of sight. Someone’s body language, scent, voice, and accent also come into play and affect their first impression of us.
9. When we fall in love, our bodies release a complex cocktail of hormones.
The complicated cycle of love needs time to develop. It is unlikely that we would feel the whole range of hormones kick in from the moment we lay our eyes on someone for the first time. But people in long-term relationships might think that they have been in love from the get go because of their memory bias. They just think they fell in love immediately, because of the way they feel about each other years later.
10. Love at first sight is just lust.
If we are driven to be with someone simply because we like what we see, this is probably just lust. After all, lust is defined as a strong desire for someone physically. It doesn’t matter whether or not we feel deeply attached to them.
11. Love at first sight happens easily with beautiful people.
A study on love at first sight has shown that people who are rated higher on the attractiveness scale are 9 times more likely to make others feel like they are in love based on what they see.
12. Love at first sight isn’t usually mutual.
The same study also shows that love at first sight is usually one-sided, based on reports from the participants. Thus, it can be said that shared instantaneous love is not very common. Believing in it might lead to heartbreak since someone we’re attracted to might not even be interested in having us in their lives.
13. It is similar to objectifying another person.
Saying we are in love as soon as we lay our eyes on someone’s physical appearance is pretty much like us falling in love with beautiful clothes, jewelry, cars, or any other material objects we see for the first time. Objectifying someone is degrading and love should never be that way.
14. Our menstrual cycle can affect who we are attracted to at first sight.
Some studies have proven that women in the fertile phase of their menstrual cycle prefer men with masculine traits more than they do when in they are in the non-fertile phase of their cycle. Love at first sight might just be our hormones acting up, depending on where we are in our menstrual cycle.
Do you believe in love at first sight and why? Have you ever experienced that electric feeling the instant you looked at someone for the first time?
Preview photo credit The Notebook / New Line Cinema