7 Signs That You’re Destroying Your Relationship
When something goes wrong in our relationships, we tend to blame our partner. But it takes two to build them, and it’s impossible for just one half to always be guilty of everything.
We at Bright Side think you should take note of these 7 signs that something’s not right in your relationship. So the one destroying it is you, if...
You’re addicted to gadgets
If you spend most of your free time on your smartphone, it can be an addiction, and one that is harmful to your relationship, as found by scientists from the University of Arizona. Try switching to something else, like reading a book or making plans. Use special apps to control your time on the Web (such as Rescue Time).
You’re unable to set priorities
If you have a really busy schedule that doesn’t include a personal life, just set it as important on your list of priorities. You can use special planning apps too, like Any.do (iOS, Android).
There’s also the 2/2/2 method that’ll help save romance: go on a date with your loved one once every 2 weeks, go somewhere for a weekend once every 2 months, and go on vacation together every 2 years.
You don’t show support
A simple "thank you" seems so trivial that many forget to say it altogether. However, if your loved one does something for you, don’t take it for granted. Everyone needs a kind word, so thank your partner for simple things, and do it regularly.
You talk formally
Loving people talk to each other openly and sincerely. Share your emotions and details of your day, and listen to each other. Think of nontrivial questions. Instead of “How was your day?“ try ”What was the most interesting part of today?“ or “What made you laugh today?”
If something about your partner upsets you, say it without reproach using ”me“-messages. It’s not ”Don’t you dare say that!" It’s “Your words upset me.”
You get angry at trifles
Don’t try to remake your loved one. Their peculiar features are what you love them for. Better make them see the results of their actions for themselves. If your husband scatters his socks everywhere, tell him they’ll only get into the laundry from a particular place. When he runs out of socks, no words will be necessary.
You’re unable to negotiate
Concentrate on solving problems together. Try to discuss the problem before it reaches boiling point. When you’re having an important talk, touch your partner to make them comfortable. And remember the rule of one problem, one talk.
During a fight, leave the room, even just for half a minute. When you’ve calmed down a bit, the talk will become more productive.
You have no trust
If you want a warm and close relationship, learn to believe your loved one is honest with you. Don’t demand reports of where they’ve been without you, and don’t look through their phone and email. Unjustified suspicion might make your partner feel compelled to do what they’re being suspected of. Concentrate on the good.
Illustrated by Ekaterina Gapanovich for BrightSide.me