7 Things We Shouldn’t Do to Please Someone for Our Own Sake
To be liked and accepted by society, we often try to show that we are flawless. But it’s important to know that no one is born perfect. We cannot please everyone around us and we shouldn’t even try to do that. When we embrace ourselves as we are, rather than being what others want us to be, we attract genuine happiness and genuine relationships.
This is why Bright Side has compiled a list of things we should stop doing to impress others and live more fully by prioritizing ourselves more.
1. Humblebragging doesn’t make you look modest.
Humblebragging is seen more like false modesty. A study claims that people who humblebrag are more insincere. Humblebragging seems more like part show-off and part-complaining which is nothing more than just being plain annoying. If you want to show off, just brag directly.
2. Traveling to show off, rather than exploring and being in the moment
Another study claimed that people usually travel for “social status and likes” rather than to explore the place. In order to invoke envy or to impress others on social media, people usually choose the vacation haunts that will give them a good backdrop for their Instagram photos. It’s time for us to stop looking at our phones and fancy DSLRs, to live in the moment, and to be thankful for what nature has to offer.
3. Impressing your date to mask a fear of rejection
The modern era of dating has revolutionized this generation to impress each other with their so-called happy sides, rather than being honest. This is because either one or both the partners spends time worrying about whether the other person likes them or not. Know that being honest always helps, because the right one will always appreciate your honesty and never leave your side.
4. Not being your authentic self
Sometimes we go the extra mile to impress someone, like by doing more personal grooming, wearing fancy clothes, and being more friendly in general. This can be deemed normal. According to research, sometimes we show off just to survive. But what doesn’t seem normal is when you become an entirely different person to impress them and do things you aren’t comfortable doing in the first place. That’s what you may want to step aside from.
5. Showing off your relationship on social media
Nowadays, couples love to strut their relationship on social media to prove to each other and to the world that their love is strong. A study claims that this impulse to upload a lot of relationship posts is called relationship visibility. The couples who feel insecure about the relationship or may feel a tad bit down about their partner, they use social media platforms for external validation to make themselves feel better. In other words, positive comments from their network may relieve them from their personal distress about the relationship.
6. Spending extravagantly on weddings
Nowadays, weddings are more about showing off wealth, impressing guests, or just making ’the moment’ a special one. Now, we aren’t suggesting that it’s a bad idea to have one, but research itself suggests that having a big fat wedding may increase your chances of divorce. On the other hand, frugal weddings can actually result in happy and long-lasting marriages.
7. Abandoning your dreams
Having dreams and aspirations is one of the best ways to thrive in life, especially when you’ve worked through blood, sweat, and tears to attain them. You’ve come so far and life has taken you to this very moment, but it’ll all be in vain if you get tempted to downplay the things you have devoted your life to just for the sake of pleasing someone else. Don’t do this to yourself! You deserve the best of everything.
Have you or someone you know gone to great lengths to impress someone? Did it work? What lessons did it teach you? Share your story with us in the comments below.
Illustrated by Polina Chernevina and Natalia Tylosova for BrightSide.me