My Bestie Is Keeping a Secret From Me, What Should I Do?

Hi everyone!

How have you been? Thank you for all the messages you send me, it’s cool that my blog can cheer you up and help you solve your problems. I’m a teen, just like you. That being said, I have my fair share of troubles and worries. But hey! WE ARE STRONG when we support each other, and TOGETHER we’ll tackle any mishap!

By the way, speaking of your messages, this morning I got one from a girl named Vicky. Vicky is frustrated because of her bestie, and here’s her message:

Oh, those precious secrets... We love sharing them so much, but when someone keeps one from you, it’s a DISASTER. You’d better stay away from a girl whose BFF shared a secret with someone else but not HER. Honestly, an erupting volcano is not as furious and dangerous as a girl in that dramatic moment when she learns she is not the KEEPER of her bestie’s secret. But anger leads to nowhere and being frustrated and sad when this happens will not make things any better. Just for you, Vicky, I’ve prepared a list of DOs and DON’Ts that can help you deal with this problem. I believe it will also be helpful to many other girls and boys who find themselves in a similar situation.

DON’T:

  • Don’t jump to conclusions and rush to judge your bestie. There may be a reason why she kept that secret from you. For example, Kristie might have felt embarrassed when she broke up with her boyfriend, and she didn’t want you to feel sorry for her. Or maybe Chris broke up with her and SHE’S EMBARRASSED to confess that she was rejected. Some secrets may be too hurtful to share.
  • DON’T BLAME your friend and don’t put your friendship to an end. You may later regret that emotional decision.
  • Don’t discuss your bestie’s secret or the fact that she was hiding it from you with other people. It can ruin her trust in you.

DO:

  • CALM DOWN and talk to Kristie without anger or judgment. Before asking her why she kept the secret from you, offer her your help. Ask her what you can do to help her feel better.
  • When you are both calm and comfortable with each other, you may try to ask your friend why she chose not to share her secret with you. Chances are she was embarrassed to talk about her breakup with Chris, or maybe she was about to tell you everything one of these days.
  • Be honest with your friend. Ask yourself: Am I always open and transparent with Kristie? Am I telling her everything or DO I ALSO KEEP SECRETS FROM HER sometimes? Be honest with yourself, and if it turns out you keep secrets from your BFF too, there may be a problem with trust in your friendship.
  • KEEP HER SECRETS when she shares them with you. If you don’t keep your promise once, your friendship may be ruined forever...
  • Be patient and DON’T FORCE people to be open and honest with you. Be a patient friend and a good listener, and your friends will confide in you.

I hope you and Kristie honestly talk to each other and make up. If you’re truly close, things like little secrets shouldn’t break your bond. I wish you luck and I’LL KEEP MY FINGERS CROSSED, dear!

Guys, has your bestie ever kept secrets from you? Or maybe you were the one who didn’t tell everything to your BFF? Let’s discuss secrets and friendship in the comments!

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