My BFF Is a Gossip Girl, and I Hate It

Hi everyone! Today I got a message from one of my followers, Anna. She’s in a dilemma and she doesn’t know what to do. Well, as always, I’ll try my best to help. Cheer up, Anna! Sue is coming to the rescue!

“Hi, Sue,

It’s hard to say it, but my bestie acts just like the gossip girl from a popular TV show. She is saying things behind people’s backs non-stop and it just annoys me. It looks like no secret can stay private when she’s around. I even start thinking that she may be gossiping about me... What should I do? Should I put an end to our friendship or is there something else I can do? Please help!

From,

Anna in despair”

Dear Anna,

There’s no reason to be in despair, I’ll try to help you. I have some experience with gossipy friends, and I have a few tips for you.

First of all, let’s try to find out what gossiping really is. It’s important to know the difference between gossip and innocent news. So...

Gossip can be a rumor, and the person spreading it doesn’t really know whether it’s true or not. It usually has some private details that the people mentioned in it would hardly want others to know. For example, if you say something like, “Hey, have you heard that Eva kissed Mike right after the school party?” it sounds like gossip.

A piece of news is a known fact that is not meant to hurt anyone. It doesn’t tell any secret or private information about the person. For example, if you say something like, “Hey, have you heard that Eva got the leading role in the school play?” it sounds like a piece of news.

If your BFF is gossiping, there are several things you can do:

  • Some people don’t even realize they’re gossiping. They think they’re just spreading the news. Try to explain to your bestie the difference between gossiping and telling facts, just like I did above.
  • Next time she says something gossipy, try to remind her that it’s better to speak about the things we know for sure, and only if they don’t hurt other people and disclose their secrets or private things they don’t want to go public.
  • If you’re afraid that your BFF is spreading gossip about you too, limit the information you share with her, and don’t tell her very personal things.
  • Openly speak about your feelings. Tell your friend that what you value in your friendship is honesty, loyalty, and trust. Tell her that you feel upset and insecure when she gossips.
  • Make an agreement with your bestie: you don’t gossip when you’re together. If she sticks to the plan or immediately apologizes if she slips up, it’s a good sign.
  • If nothing helps, think about not communicating with your bestie, at least for a while, and see if something changes in her behavior. Chances are, she’ll soon realize she was wrong.

I hope my tips help Anna and you, my dear readers, if something similar happens to you.

By the way, have you ever had a gossiping friend? What was it like? Did you do anything about it? Tell me in the comments and let’s discuss friendship and gossiping together!

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