My Sister Is Jealous of Me Because She Thinks I’m Our Parents’ “Favorite Child”

Hi everyone!

How have you been, guys? Last night I spent a couple of hours thinking about jealousy after I read one of your messages. And I realized that this feeling is quite complicated. It turns out, we can feel jealous not only in a romantic relationship (yep, it’s that irritating feeling that rises inside your chest when you see YOUR CRUSH cheerfully talking to another girl at school. Who is she? What are they up to? Brrr... That feeling can be really TORTURING!). This is a message from Audrey, and it looks like HER SISTER IS JEALOUS of her, because she thinks their parents love Audrey more.

Hi Audrey! Thank you for your message and thank you for your trust! The situation is quite complicated. Sometimes older siblings may think that parents love their younger siblings more, but it is not necessarily the case. Loving parents love all their children equally strongly, but sometimes one child requires more attention than the other. For example, a younger sibling may require a bit more attention JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE LITTLE and more dependent on parents than their older siblings.

I think there are several things you can do so that Julia (and all of you) feel better and happier as a family.

Things that you can do:

  • Talk to Julia. Try to TELL HER YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY and explain that her feelings are not your fault and you are not doing anything special to make your parents “love you more”. (You are not running around the house screaming “I’m better than Julia! Love me more!”, right?)
  • Ask her to give you some EXAMPLES of what she thinks shows that your parents love you more than her. Maybe she thinks that you are more successful than her in a particular field (studies, for example), and she always pays attention when parents praise you for good results at school, but she doesn’t notice how they praise herself for sports achievements.
  • Ask Julia what she would like to happen. How does she see a perfect relationship with you and your parents? Try to figure out how you all, as a family, can make it happen.
  • Talk to your parents. Tell them that you notice jealousy from Julia’s side. They may not know anything about it if she didn’t tell them.

Things that Julia can do:

  • Talking to parents. Jealousy and frustration can be damaging when we keep them inside. An honest conversation with parents can make Julia feel better, and they can explain to her that they are not playing favorites and love you both equally strong.
  • Trying to ventilate her emotions. Letting out strong feelings (like jealousy, anger, and frustration) through exercises, arts or hobbies can make her feel better. Try doing something together to release your emotions in a safe and funny way.
  • Focusing on positive things rather than negative. She can even start a journal where she can mark all the good things that happen to her within a day.

I hope that you can read my blog together with Julia and discuss these tips. I also hope that you and Julia TALK TO YOUR PARENTS and open up about your feelings. I am sure your parents love you and they’ll do everything to make both of you feel loved and cherished.

Have you ever felt jealous of your siblings, guys? What pieces of advice can you give Audrey and Julia? Let’s chat in the comments!

XOXO, Sue

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