Rwth Hunt
49 minutes ago
It sounds cruel after all you've been through, but I don't think you should lock the door between you. This was something that at one time you earnestly wished for, and it isn't surprising that the peace of mind you have finally achieved isn't something that you feel you can risk. Perhaps you should arrange to meet him for a drink at a nice place you haven't visited before so have no associations with. Put a time boundary on it say 1 hour, and be strong and leave at the end of that time.
Taking your emotions out of the freezer should take time. Perhaps just email to say you find these emails upsetting now, so please to stop until he hears from you. You can't be sure that you will ever want to see him again. but don't slam the door and lock it. If you feel different in the future it will be harder to break the ice.