In a world where social norms and expectations often collide with personal beliefs and values, one woman asking for help online sparked a heated debate. This story delves into the complexities of modern-day celebrations and the societal pressures they require. Join us as we unravel the layers of this controversial dilemma.
My husband and I have a son together, and I am currently pregnant with our second child. My husband and I have already booked the venue for the gender reveal, will lose the photographer’s deposit, and what we spent on decorations, etc.
However, he is more concerned about the reputation effect as he grew up affluent, has a very high-paying job, and also has a stake in a family business.
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However, I can tell that despite us already having a boy who he absolutely adores (they can do no wrong in each other’s eyes, my son always had every toy, fun activity, and best clothes gifted by his dad), he desperately wants our second child (who we expect to be our last) to be a boy.
I went into planning this reveal rationalizing that gender disappointment is okay, but I’ve come to realize that there is wishing you’re having a son and then there’s fixating on NOT having a daughter even more than wanting another son, and my husband falls into the second category.
We didn’t do a gender reveal for our firstborn because my husband kept putting off whether or not he wanted to hear it from the doctor and when. We ended up learning (with him ecstatic) about having a son less than a month before giving birth.
It’s not all his fault: he grew up with an older dad who was always controlling towards his mother. Their town at the time was essentially a company town, and his dad threatened her family’s jobs.
Now his demons are back. We got to a point where he said fine to me going alone to hear the baby’s gender (without telling him), and I found out we were having a girl. I guess I didn’t have a good poker face of his negative reaction after I got home.
He is arguing he doesn’t know the baby’s gender because I did not explicitly tell him, but 100 percent he does know. I’d be fine with a reveal where the guests are the ones being surprised, but it’s in a week and with each day my husband grows more withdrawn, and he’s not the type who can fake happiness and often tries to leave and pull me away with him when he’s really upset.
I decided to pull the plug. Again, he’s not mad about the money, yet he’s angry that we’re doing this to our family and friends and what this may say about him. I put my foot down.
As we reach the end of this intriguing journey, it’s clear that what began as a simple question has evolved into a profound reflection. From impassioned arguments to heartfelt insights into personal experiences, this discourse has illuminated the nuanced complexities in seemingly innocent celebrations.
