I Don’t Like the Relationship Between My Husband and His “Work Wife”, Need Advice Urgently

A woman, 35, is feeling extremely uncomfortable about her husband’s relationship with his colleague. Though she’s always felt secure in their relationship, the woman started developing some suspicions after the series of red flags from the side of her husband. The desperate lady wrote us a letter, where she shared her whole story and asked our readers about their opinions on the situation. Her gut feeling is prompting her that something is wrong, but she doesn’t want to make mistakes in her relationship and is seeking for advice.

Andrea wrote us a letter and shared her intricate family story.

Andrea, 35, has recently sent us a letter that sounded like a real cry for help. The woman wanted to know if she’s on a right way in being very negative towards the relationship of her husband and one of his colleagues.

Andrea began her story, saying, “I’m 35, and I’m a beautician by profession. I’m married to Paul, an engineer, he’s 33. He is a very intelligent and smart man, and I’ve always been so proud of him.
Paul has a colleague, who is beautiful in a classic sense of this word, she’s all natural and she’s a very attractive woman. Her name is Alyson, she’s 30, and she’s also very intelligent. Obviously, Paul is very close with her. He even calls her his ‘work wife.’
Before the events that led me to this moment of seeking help online, I never had any reason to feel uncomfortable about their relationship. I always felt very secure in our relationship. Paul and I are both independent people who would just have left if we hadn’t been happy together. We’ve been together for 8 years, married for 2 years.”

Andrea is worried about the suspicious turn in her husband’s relationship with his “work wife.”

Andrea goes on with her letter, saying, “Last month, Paul and I were on a 3-day trip with his colleagues. It’s a tradition at his work every year. We came home and I had a bad taste in my mouth after this trip. It felt like me and his colleague’s husband were literally the third wheel in the company of my husband and Alyson during the entire trip.”

Andrea explains, “A very tense thing happened during a dinner, on the second night of our trip. I was sitting silently, playing with my food after almost two days of being ignored by Paul. Alyson’s husband was also silent at first, but we started a casual talk, asking each other some common questions.
In the meantime, Alyson was in a very loud argument with my husband. It was more of a back and forth teasing. She suddenly turned around and asked what we two (her husband and me) were up to, talking quietly.
Her husband said that we were just getting to know each other, since they were too busy talking about things we knew nothing about. Alyson then laughed and said, ’What could we discuss with you? Make up and pop stars?’, and she nodded towards me. Then she added, ’We have more intelligent things to discuss.’”

Andrea shared, “I was dumbfounded at that moment. She literally emphasized that because I’m a beautician, I can only discuss celebrities and their makeup. It sounded like I was an outsider and just stupid because I was discussing my work related subjects.
My husband just laughed, and Alyson’s husband said that was rude. I in my turn said nothing because I had that disgust for the whole situation. On the last day of our trip, I spent most of my time with Alyson’s husband. I ignored the other two.”

Andrea appeared to be in a very complex situation.

The woman wrote, “Recently, Alyson’s husband texted me and wanted to talk about our SOs. He said that he also has been feeling uncomfortable about his wife’s relationship with my husband, and that he went through her messages. He sent me screenshots where Paul and Alyson were basically calling me stupid and shallow and laughed about it.”

Andrea explained, “Well, that was mostly Alyson saying mean things about me and Paul was just laughing and adding in. Sometimes he would write something like, ’But I love her’ and Alyson would answer, ’You only like ignorant women, they’re convenient to live with.’ And Paul laughed at it because he sincerely accepted it as a joke. When the texts weren’t about my stupidity, they were about work and in one of the messages my husband wrote, ’I love your brain’ to Alyson.”

Andrea confessed, “I started crying when I saw the screenshots. I’ve always felt so self-conscious about my brain or my profession. I love my job and I thought my husband loved it too, or at least didn’t have this despise for it. I’ve been my own boss for over 12 years and I make closer to 6 figures.
I never thought of myself as of a stupid person. I like to think that I’m fairly educated and smart and I have passion for history, languages, cultures but yes I’m not an engineer working on some design for artificial arms and hearts. Still, the texts complimenting the colleague, hurt me more than the ones making fun of me. I don’t know what to think.”

Things are getting even more tense and suspicious for the woman.

Andrea wrote, “I confronted Paul after all this. I told him honestly that I have talked to work wife’s husband and showed him the messages he sent to me. Paul asked my why her husband was spying on his wife, and I told him that it was because he didn’t like the way things were developing on the trip. I told him how I too was very uncomfortable.”

Paul’s reaction was far from convincing. Andrea wrote, “He was confused and just told me that work wife obviously was jealous and that I shouldn’t care a lot about her. I told him that Alyson didn’t bother me as much as the fact that he was fine with and amused by her attempts to bring me down the entire time. So much in fact that even her husband was so uncomfortable that he went through her phone. I also asked him why he was letting her humiliate me in their texts.
Again, he insisted that he just felt that she was petty and jealous, and he didn’t want to stoop to her level. He said that I in fact did the same when I ignored her rudeness, and he believes that was the classy thing to do. I asked him why she was doing this, and he said nothing.”

Andrea added, “Two days ago, Alyson’s husband called me again and we talked. He revealed that Alyson admitted to him that she had feelings for my husband, and she suspected that my husband had feelings for her too. She said they kissed at the summer work party. I confronted Paul again when he got home. He only started to freak out telling me that yes, she did kiss him, and he rejected her and told her that he wasn’t interested, and that was all between them.”

The woman wrote, “I don’t know what to think and what to do next in this very disturbing and disgusting situation. I feel that Paul does love me, but, on the other hand, I can’t get rid of the thought that something is going on there, between him and Alyson. I am so confused, and no one from my family wants to talk to me about this. All people think I’m being too dramatic, but in fact, this all hurts so much. What should I do?”

And here’s a confession of a woman, who fell in love with a married man and broke his family. But now, karma is hitting back at her, and she’s telling us her complicated story.