8 Ways to Tell If Your Partner Is Overprotective, and How to Cut Off This Unhealthy Attention
Overprotectiveness sometimes equals possessiveness and both of these things can be very harmful. A partner usually acts this way because of their fear of losing the person they’re with. They are drowning in their insecurities and that’s why they are unable to show their unconditional trust in their partner. That’s why they want to be with them all the time and know their every move 24/7.
Bright Side would like to ring the bell on 8 signs that your partner is overprotective and 3 ways you can try to solve that behavior.
Sign 1: They express their deep love very early.
Instead of waiting to see where the relationship is going, a controlling person will profess their deep love early on. Not only that, but they will push you to make the same declaration of commitment. They will probably flatter you by saying how you make their life so much better and force you to try and feel the same. This is their effort to tie you down from the beginning so they know that you are in an exclusive and devoted relationship.
Sign 2: They are jealous and interrogate you about everything.
They think that the entire population has a crush on you and that you might be flirting with everyone else. They are insecure and make it look like your actions are responsible for their feelings. That’s why they are always asking questions about where you were, who you were with, and what you were talking about. The moment they hear you talking about an ex-partner or someone they consider a rival, they become enraged and create a big scene.
Sign 3: They try to cut you off from your friends and especially those of the opposite sex.
They don’t want you to hang out with friends since they want to be the focal point of your entire life. They don’t understand that you have a life away from them and they try to isolate you from your friends. Not only that, but they might make you feel guilty for leaving them alone and choosing to go out with your friends instead. They make you feel like an inconsiderate partner who doesn’t care as much as you should about your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Sign 4: They blame you for their negative feelings and actions.
When you fight and they get angry very easily, they blame you for their feelings. Instead of saying “I feel angry,” they will say “You make me so angry.” They will masterfully twist things around so they are never to blame, but you are the evil person who always diminishes them. Even if they make a mistake outside of your relationship, they will find someone else to blame for their misbehavior.
Sign 5: They tell you what you can and can’t wear.
An overprotective partner doesn’t understand that you don’t dress for the crowds, but for yourself only. Controlling what you wear shows that they are unreasonably jealous of you and insecure about your relationship. They don’t want people around you to look at you and that’s why they prefer having you dressed more conservatively. The moment you start thinking about whether your clothing will be approved by your partner, it is certain that you are in an oppressive relationship.
Sign 6: They check your phone and your location at all times.
Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that your personal space is gone. It’s only natural that your partner will want to know where you are and who you’re with, but not if it becomes an obsession. Nobody has the right to check your phone whenever they want without your permission. Some partners will also go as far as installing a tracking app on your phone so they know where you are at all times.
Sign 7: They follow you everywhere claiming it’s for your safety.
Overprotective partners think you are only safe when they are around and in danger when you’re on your own. That’s why they want to be with you all the time and even follow you to your car to make sure it starts. They will probably also come to your medical appointments with you and demand that you ask for their opinion on everything having to do with your life. They also don’t think it’s weird if they always want to come with you when you go out with your friends.
They might also get really angry if you don’t answer your phone right away and complain to you about it. Now, this behavior itself isn’t always alarming, but it’s probably a problem if they don’t seem to understand your explanations. If your needs and opinions are always perceived as wrong and you always need to agree with them, then something isn’t quite right.
Sign 8: They have unreasonable expectations of you.
They might demand that you spend all your free time with them or that you look a specific way. They might also expect you to not have friends of the opposite sex or for you to side with them in every disagreement with your mutual friends. However, these are not things that they will necessarily share with you from the start, but they will fight with you about them later on. You need to keep in mind that you are not there to satisfy your partner’s every void, but only to add to their happiness.
Solution 1: Stand your ground and set your rules.
Once you’ve understood your partner’s behavior, you can have an honest conversation and set your rules. You are willing to make a few compromises, but not at the expense of your own happiness. For example, it’s not fair for your partner to ask you to distance yourself from your friends. You have to let them know that they will also need to make compromises and accept some of the things that you want to keep doing.
Solution 2: Introduce them to your circle of friends.
If your partner is jealous of your friends of the opposite sex and the rest of your friends, you can always bring them with you. They will see that everyone is very respectful of you and that no one is flirtatious toward you. And if you have very little free time in your life, you can combine your relationship with your friends every once in a while. You also show them that you have nothing to hide and that your friends are also their friends if they want to get closer to them.
Solution 3: Do some reverse psychology.
Doing to them what they are doing to you might work nicely with your overprotective partner. If for example, they get jealous of your friends, you can act the same way after they go out with theirs. They will probably defend themselves and reassure you about their decent behavior. This way you will make them feel how their overprotectiveness affects you and they might see that they need to change.
Have you ever been in an overprotective/obsessive relationship? How did you react to it and did your partner understand their wrong behavior and improve it?
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