8 Subtle Signs of Emotional Immaturity in a Relationship, and How to Deal With It

One of the big reasons for unhappy relationships is emotional immaturity in one or both partners. At first, it might not seem like a big deal, and the issues could be minor, but if there are signs, it is very likely that the problems will escalate. Being able to prevent all the pain and suffering that occurs due to someone’s immaturity is easier if you know what to look for.

Bright Side doesn’t want any of our readers to go through any emotional pain, so we’d like to bring 8 signs of emotional immaturity to your attention.

1. Your partner says things they don’t mean.

According to psychologist Nick Wignall, being in love is an amazing feeling and, because of that, we tend to focus on the good things and ignore the red flags. You have to be able to see these warning signs from the beginning. And one of the most obvious ones is when you notice your partner says things but doesn’t really mean them. This is a very clear sign of emotional immaturity.

2. Your partner needs to constantly be reassured.

While it’s okay and completely normal to ask for or need reassurance sometimes, it can become problematic if it becomes constant. It could be incessant texting, analyzing the look on someone’s face, or asking for empty reassurance. And if we do our best to reassure our partner, despite it being with good intentions, it can make it worse for them and the relationship.

3. Your partner might gaslight or guilt-trip you.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and it happens mainly in relationships. People gaslight you by making you question your thoughts, memories, and events occurring around them, basically trying to make you think you’re crazy. When gaslighting becomes extreme, victims can even start questioning their own sanity. This is a major red flag in any relationship, and if it happens once, it will keep happening.

A lot of people use guilt-tripping as a weapon to make you feel bad or manipulate you into doing something you didn’t want to do in the first place. Even if you haven’t done anything wrong, the other person might make you think you have and force you to find a way of fixing whatever the problem is. If your partner is guilt-tripping you, you should know that they might be manipulating you, which is a clear red flag.

4. Your partner doesn’t allow themselves to be vulnerable.

We as humans have the ability to connect with others on a deep level — we need it and we’re hardwired for it. A lot of relationships fail because of a lack of vulnerability. People might have experienced something in their past that’s made them want to protect themselves from getting hurt, thus not allowing themselves to be vulnerable. This means they’re also not allowing themselves to love, be intimate, and truly connect with their partner.

5. They always have to get the last word in.

This is not a huge deal-breaker, as we’ve all likely done it before. People love being right and winning arguments, but sometimes your partner’s feelings are more important than the satisfaction “being right” brings you. And wanting to always get the last word in is almost always for “attacking” reasons, and it ends up in the form of destructive and damaging words. If someone does this on the regular, it’s a big red flag.

6. Your partner doesn’t know what they want.

You can suffer a lot if you’re in a relationship with someone who never knows what they want. It could be something as small as not being able to decide what to have for lunch, but it also could be something a lot more serious, such as not knowing whether they want a relationship with you or something more casual. Ideally, you’d want your partner to be someone who knows what they want from this relationship and are willing to make it happen.

7. Your partner never wants to try new things.

Balance and compromise are very important for healthy relationships. Being able to balance your wants and needs with those of your partner requires compromise. It sounds simple, but a lot of people are not ready to do that. If your partner is unwilling to try a new holiday destination, help with chores, or change certain behaviors or actions, it means they don’t want to try new things and make compromises. These are clear signs of emotional immaturity.

8. Your partner doesn’t learn from their mistakes.

It’s okay to sometimes “lose our cool” and get angry over something, as long as we can acknowledge that our outburst was inappropriate, especially if it was for nothing, and we apologize. People who refuse to admit they were wrong but continue doing the same thing they apologized for are emotionally immature, and those things are big red flags.

What other signs of emotional immaturity do you think are missing from this article? Have you ever experienced any of the aforementioned behaviors in a relationship?