A Culver City Teacher Was Annoyed by the Noise Upstairs, Until She Saw Who It Was and Chose Kindness

Carole, her upstairs neighbor, was coming down with her recycling when it spilled everywhere right outside Heidi’s apartment. Heidi got up, picked it all up and told her it was okay.

She soon learned that Carole, 86, has a condition that makes her hands shake, and that the noise from that first night was her walker. Carole’s loneliness was nothing Heidi could have guessed from the noise upstairs.

When Heidi asked whether she had any family, Carole said no. She had spent years in solitude. With no family nearby and stairs she could barely manage, Carole was living in social isolation.

Carole is British and came to the United States in the 1960s. She worked as an au pair, looking after other people’s children in California and around the country. Decades later, she was the one who needed looking after. That small act of kindness at Heidi’s door was only the beginning.

Heidi began cooking for Carole and cleaning her apartment. Step by step, she has been pulling Carole out of social isolation. The building’s landlord has shown compassion, too. He’s getting Carole an air conditioner, replacing the carpet, and adding a screen door and a new stove.

Heidi once asked Carole what would have happened if she hadn’t found her. Carole looked her straight in the eye and said, “I would’ve struggled until somebody did.” It was a plain answer from someone who had lived with loneliness for years and was too proud to ask for help.

Heidi started posting about Carole on Instagram, and the videos have been viewed nearly 30 million times. They showed millions of people what social isolation can look like for an 86-year-old living alone. The kindness spread far beyond Culver City. A GoFundMe for Carole has raised over $80,000, and letters from strangers in Hawaii, Ohio and Connecticut are another kind of compassion.

After years of solitude and loneliness, Carole now calls Heidi her granddaughter, and Heidi calls her grandmama. Carole didn’t want to appear on camera, so she spoke to ABC7 by phone, with Heidi part of the same conversation. When Carole told the reporter that Heidi is actually her granddaughter, Heidi laughed and agreed.

Their friendship started with spilled recycling, and now it brings both of them real happiness. Carole said she is deeply grateful and that she loves Heidi dearly. Heidi said she loves her too, and that she would do it all again in a heartbeat. It’s the kind of happiness neither of them saw coming the night Heidi filmed her ceiling.

Heidi doesn’t see her compassion as anything heroic. She says she’s just helping Carole out, and that Carole is the one who saved her by giving her a sense of purpose. Heidi has said she thrives on helping other people. It’s where she finds her happiness.

There’s just one thing Heidi still can’t get Carole to do: stop thanking her for her kindness. By Heidi’s count, it happens almost every other sentence.