My Wife Wants to Undergo IVF and Calls Me Selfish for Wanting My DNA for Our Kid

Some surprising revelations about our partners only emerge after marriage. One of our readers found out that his wife wanted to create a “perfect” daughter. Despite his good health, she didn’t want to include his genes in their children.

One of our readers sent us a message.

Thanks for reaching out to us! We're sorry this happened to you. We have some tips that you might find useful.

Figure out what’s really happening to your wife.

Try to understand what’s going on with your wife. There might be a deeper reason behind her actions. If she wasn’t like this before, maybe something happened that made her feel insecure. Perhaps without realizing it, you’ve been focusing too much on her appearance, making her feel pressured to prioritize beauty.

Consider getting a divorce.

If your wife refuses to include you in these important decisions, which should be mutual, you might want to rethink the relationship. Clearly, she doesn’t share the same values, and now it’s clear where you’re incompatible. A healthy relationship involves discussing things openly and making decisions together. You’re already struggling with this, especially in such an important matter.

Draw the line.

Set clear boundaries and don’t be scared of her reaction. Think about what you’re okay with and what you’re not when it comes to how you’re treated and the decisions made in your relationship. It’s totally fine to say “no” or “this far, but no further.” Standing up for yourself is important, and it’s okay to be open about what is acceptable to you and what’s not.

Take your wife to a professional.

It seems like your wife has some issues that only a professional can deal with. Consider seeking professional help together. Sometimes it's helpful to have a third party, like a therapist or counselor, to help you both understand each other's perspectives better. Perhaps she doesn't even realize how much her actions and behavior can negatively impact your relationship.

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