A Psychologist Explains Why Late Marriages Are Happier Than Early Ones
Everyone is looking for their love. Unfortunately, many relationships end. It happens because the pressure of social stereotypes can become stronger than real desires, and people hurry to get married not to create a family but because of fleeting feelings and the fear of being alone.
Bright Side invites you to make an objective assessment of whether you’re ready to build a strong relationship or not using these 7 factors.
7. Love helps with self-development.
A mature person never stops working on themselves, and love only gives strength. They’re not afraid to change their point of view and are ready to admit their drawbacks. They can be understanding and attentive. 2 loving people will always try to be better for a prosperous relationship.
If a partner wants you to accept them as they are and suggests you put up with their bad habits, your relationship won’t develop, and you will become strangers to each other.
6. First of all, to love means to give.
A self-sustained person doesn’t look for inspiration in their partner and doesn’t try to fulfill the emptiness in their soul with them. Everything is vice versa: they try to share what they have. Infantile people try only to be loved, and they give no more effort to love. In his book The Road Less Traveled, psychologist Morgan Peck calls such a painful addiction “a form of antilove.”
Don’t be surprised if a partner that always gets what they want leaves you all alone when you face problems.
5. One of the main aspects of love is willpower.
Those famous words from marriage vows say that we should always be by each other’s side: in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, and so on. These words imply that people who want to start a family understand that love isn’t just about feelings but that it’s a binding and considered decision.
The components of a mature relationship are common goals, a sincere desire to be together, and focusing your attention and energy on one and the same person — even if there are temptations and hesitations.
If after each argument you pack your bags and remember your ex, you should think about how long this relationship will last.
4. Love is work.
Being patient with a partner’s habits and features, being attentive... All these things might sound boring, and they’re always exhausting and effort-consuming, but it’s the foundation of a harmonious relationship. If you want to strengthen your love, you have to work hard.
If you hold on to your hurt, it may break out all of a sudden, and your relationship can be ruined.
3. Love is responsibility.
Responsibility is a feature that distinguishes an adult from a child. You can use the same indicator regarding your relationship: is it mature or not? It’s great when you have someone to rely on, isn’t it? And are you ready to be that reliable person? Yes, such a method implies serious obligations, but it also strengthens your relationship and makes it real.
That’s why if your partner says, “There is no difference. It changes nothing!” it may be a sign that they’re not ready for a long-term relationship.
2. To love means to respect each other’s individuality.
A mature person has already built their goals and found themselves, which is why they’re ready to respect someone else’s interests. Such a relationship is free from pressure: the partners give freedom to each other and always try to reach a compromise.
People who are only preoccupied with their own interests aren’t ready to listen, understand, or admit to anything.
1. Love won’t protect you from getting hurt.
Hurt and disappointment are normal things in our life, and even our beloved can’t always protect us. We have to be brave to face difficulties, and we shouldn’t complain or blame anyone. In this case, the relationship will be strong and profound.
Psychologists believe that if we understand and accept these 7 principles, we can really build a great relationship. They advise us to slow down with marriage if we feel that we or our partner might not be ready. You’d be better off devoting your precious time to your hobbies, dreams, and personal growth instead of recovering from a painful breakup.
Do you agree with the experts’ opinions? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Illustrated by Alena Sofronova for BrightSide.me