12 Families Living With the Grandparents Under One Roof: a 5 A.M. Breakfast Shift and a House With 13 Bedrooms

I grew up in a house where my grandfather ran the thermostat, my grandmother ran the kitchen, and my mom ran everything else. Dinner was at five because Grandpa said so, and nobody ever won an argument about the remote. These 12 families live with the grandparents under one roof, or grew up that way, and their houses run on even more rules than ours did.

1. A 24-year-old mom of two moved her parents in, then reported back three months later.

Abby was 24, with two babies born 13 months apart, when she told her followers that her parents were moving into her house. They had spent their whole lives in the same town in Illinois, and she hadn’t lived in the same state as them since she was 18.

Her reasons were simple: a quiet work-from-home house that needed more noise, kids who would grow up close to their grandparents the way she did, and a belief that nobody was meant to raise babies alone. Three months later, she reported back: while she nursed the newborn, her mom played with the toddler in the pool.

“24 and living with my parents?”

2. At 90, Grandad Joe gets up at 6 a.m., buys the paper and brings his daughter coffee.

Grandad Joe moved in with his daughter’s family ten years ago. At 90, he still gets up at 6 a.m., showers, does his exercises, goes to the shop for his newspaper, finishes the crossword and then brings his daughter a cup of coffee.

For years he drove both of his granddaughters to school every morning, and he taught them both to drive. They both passed the first time. His daughter says it simply: they look after him, and he looks after them. She believes he wouldn’t have thrived for so long if he had kept living alone.

“Multi generational living is common in many cultures, but not that common in our country. If you have the room and are able, I would highly recommend it.”

3. Grandma got up around 5 a.m., so her 14-year-old grandkid would find breakfast on the table.

My grandmother lived with us for a while when I was 14. It was the only time in my life anyone ever fixed breakfast for me — only I think she woke up around 5 a.m., and by the time I got up there was a stone-cold cup of coffee and cold toast waiting for me on the table. I loved that she did it anyway.

I didn’t learn any lessons from her and she didn’t shape me — she wasn’t around long enough, maybe six months. But I felt her love and I loved her.

4. Seven years in a small house with the garage turned into bedrooms, then an invitation to a home with 13 of them.

Both daughters and sons-in-law lived with hubs and I for seven years in our modest 3 bedroom 2 bath home with a two-car garage converted into two more bedrooms, while finishing university and law school. Three grandsons were born during that time.

When they moved into a very large home with 13 bedrooms, sons-in-law invited hubs and I to move with them and later asked my parents and hubs’ parents to live with them also.

Oldest daughter and son-in-law adopted three teen sisters that are now married and just finished second year of law school with their husbands. They live there, each couple had a first child last summer and each couple is expecting a second baby this fall.

I think the key to doing it successfully is for each couple to have separate areas to retreat into and all the adults staying out of the separate business of other adults.

5. Three multigenerational homes in 30 years taught her what makes it work, including who sets the thermostat.

I’ve lived in 3 different multigenerational setups over the past 30 years, and two other multi-family under one roof settings. Currently my MIL is in with us and my teenagers, and my parents live next door.

Lessons. Have a separate space. Particularly, at least a kitchenette, bathroom, and hopefully an entrance.

Most homes built recently aren’t set up for it.

Come to it with the mindset of not controlling the other adults — and arrange deliberate time to converse about group decisions like driveway management or how to set the thermostat.

Overall, I’m a fan. I like it for cultural and economic reasons. My kids have been benefiting from having their grandma in the house.

6. A couple moved in with family, had a baby, and worried the noise would bother the man who had lived alone for 20 years.

After four years abroad, Melia and her husband moved home to be with family, into a house where an older relative had lived alone for nearly 20 years. Two months after moving in, they found out they were expecting their first child.

Now he shares the living room with a family of three, a baby walker and a floor full of toys. At first they worried all the noise would bother him. It doesn’t seem to: these days the baby rolls up to his armchair, and he leans down to play.

“Besties”

7. In a Brooklyn two-family house, Grandma downstairs was the babysitter, the lunch date and the soap opera buddy.

I grew up in a two-family house in Brooklyn.

There were two separate apartments and my maternal grandparents lived in the downstairs apartment. Because there were separate apartments, the boundaries of the households were defined clearly, although obviously it was more fluid than if my grandparents lived in completely separate housing.

My mother worked all my life and so my grandmother was my nanny although she didn’t typically get me ready for school. I lived around the block from my elementary school and so I went home for lunch and we would watch her soap opera together and of course she was there when I got home from school.

She was also the person who took care of me when I was home sick and so I associate sweet tea with lemon and [cherry cough drops] with her.

We had a very close relationship because she didn’t have to do anything but love me unconditionally since she wasn’t responsible for making sure I did homework or any of the serious parts of parenthood.

8. Moving in with the grandparents: Grandpa hides junk food, and Grandma cleans like it’s an Olympic sport.

Not sure yet, but I’m about to find out. We’re moving into my grandparents house to help them and also so we can save to buy a house and start our own business.

But I already know a few cons will be; food. My grandpa eats garbage food and my grandma eats all organic whole foods. We keep a mostly organic diet as well, but the junk food being in the house and eaten around our toddler will be a battle. Grandpa will try to hide it but I know it will be an issue at times.

Then the pros are obvious; our son will develop a very good relationship with his great grandparents, and vice versa. More eyes on our kid so we can turn our backs for more than 5 seconds. Saving money. My grandma loves cleaning like it’s an Olympic sport and she’s the reigning champion, I’ll obviously clean too but she seriously wants to do it herself.

Overall we see this as an opportunity that most people don’t get, we’ll really be doing something good for our family while also taking leaps forward instead of clawing our way up.

9. Growing up with Nan and Grandad meant homemade birthday cakes, sewing and building brick walls.

Grandparents may be old fashioned but there’s novelty in that.

Being around my Nan all the time meant I always had a home-made birthday cake. And a GOOD one at that. I spent my weekends baking and sewing with her in the afternoons and in the morning I was gardening with grandad or digging holes and building brick walls...

My school friends were SO JEALOUS!

But back then I had it SET!

Anything I needed I got, but in a way where I was shown how to make it, do it, or get it myself.

10. A mom who thought moving in with her parents was mad now calls it the best decision for her kids.

Five years ago, money was tight, and her husband suggested something she thought was mad: moving in with her parents, in their 500-year-old farmhouse. They did it anyway.

Now she is 42 and still living with her parents, and looking back through old videos, she can see how many memories they have built together. The children’s days are wound up with Grandma and Grandpa’s, and a decision made out of desperation turned out to be the best one they made for their kids.

“I never expected that decision to give the children such a close relationship with Grandma and Grandpa. It’s not always straightforward, but I’d make the same decision again.”

11. A 3-year-old learned to ask whichever grown-up would say yes, until the grandparents caught on.

We live in a multigenerational household. Myself, my parents, husband, and 2 kids. My son (3.5) loves to play ask the person he thinks will say yes. After a few times of me coming around the corner and being like “I told you no” my parents have now gotten into the habit of telling my kids to ask me if they’re not sure if they can have or do something.

They also don’t undermine me when I set a rule, they help enforce it and I think that if you can communicate with the other adults it’s fine.

12. Four generations under one roof was normal in her family, and every generation keeps doing it.

In my own family, it is very much the norm for kids, parents, grandparents and even great grandparents to live in the same home. I spent a good part of my early childhood living in a home with my siblings, parents, uncles, grandparents, and great grandparents.

Later my parents bought their own home, and when we moved 2 of my uncles came with us. Eventually they moved out but there was always a grandparent or cousin staying for a while.

As an adult my husband and I and our child and then another child lived with my parents for a few years. When we moved out my sister and her husband moved in with them for a few years.

My brother and his wife and eventually 4 children lived with his in-laws for 11 years. To me and my family it’s normal, but to my husband and his family it was a bit of a shock at first.

A downstairs apartment in Brooklyn, a 500-year-old farmhouse, a garage turned into bedrooms, a home with 13 of them. None of these families would call it roomy. But in every one of these houses, nobody ate dinner alone.