18 Children That Already Know They Will Be Comedians When They Grow Up

Children never cease to amaze us with their witticisms and comments full of innocence. If we think that just one child is an inexhaustible source of curious responses, imagine what happens to teachers when they have many in kindergarten or elementary school classes.

• Two boys were arguing, and one told the other that he looked like a gummy bear. After getting them to knock it off, I realized that he does, in fact, look like a gummy bear © lolo_bear / Reddit
• I was teaching Romeo and Juliet to a class in a fairly rough school I was working, and we got to the line about Juliet not being fourteen yet, and one of the girls at the back put her hand up and said, “Hang on, she’s not fourteen? Like, she’s thirteen?” And when I confirmed that yes, Juliet was thirteen, she paused for a second and then said, “Sorry, Miss, but what?” with such a horrified look on her face that I almost lost it. © clairewil / Reddit
• 7th grader: but he’s the one who started it.
  Me: well, it takes two to tango.
  7th grader: but it only takes one to breakdance.
  The student then begins to breakdance. © el_goyo_rojo / Reddit
• Today: two “tough” sixth-grade boys. One had taped the lenses of 3d glasses to his face because he hated the actual glasses. The other had a video of a 3d roller coaster video on his laptop. He held up the laptop, so his friend could move up his arms like he was on a roller coaster. They took turns. We were finishing a test, but I couldn’t stop the laughter. © wackiejackie1092 / Reddit

• Convo with a kinder student:
  Student: You smell like my grandma.
  Me: Oh... that’s nice.
  Student: She died.
  First, I just about died trying not to laugh. Then I started wondering if I should be worried. © maryjaneodoul / Reddit
• We were discussing Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. I mentioned how most offspring never survive long enough to reproduce. One of my students raises his hand and says, “you mean they all die as virgins?”. © chartreuse_chimay / Reddit
• 3rd grader was running from point A to point B the way third-graders just can’t stop doing. “Friends, please slow down. It’s muddy out here today...” as if on cue, the friend with the big body he has yet to grow into falls literally over himself. Body out, mud all over his pants. Not hurt. Just a hot mess. “Friend, are you alright?” Kid looks up. Deadpan. “I hate my life.” I still laugh (like I did then), thinking about it to this day. © gwerd1 / Reddit
• I play bass and teach general music. Since I’m teaching my third-graders the instrument families right now, I figured I would show them a video of me playing bass. So it was a duet with my Asian male friend, and me, a White female wearing a dress in the video. The conversation goes like this: “OMG! Is that you?” “Yes, it is!” “Which one?!” I should also note I’m seven months pregnant, so the idea that I look like an Asian man just killed me, and I couldn’t stop laughing. © knitknitpurlpurl / Reddit

• Student A: Ms. TournerShock, would you like to read the poem I wrote in English today? It’s about finding out my grandmother had cancer.
  Me: Absolutely, Student A, I’m so honored that you would let me read your poem.
  Student B: You can read my poem too! It’s about PICKLES! © TournerShock / Reddit
• I had an EBD kid in 2nd who would end almost every day by walking out of the room and then sticking his head back in the doorway and yelling, “see ya later, losers.” © AnniePasta / Reddit
• 8th graders. Kid said, “My babysitter gave me herpes.” To which a kid replied, “Oh man, can I get her number?” Another kid chimed in, “Bro, you don’t want her number.” Everyone was laughing. I’m still not sure if the first kid was serious or not. © Friend-of-the-river / Reddit
• PreK — We were talking about believing in yourself. I asked if anybody had something they believed they could do if they practiced and tried hard. One little cutie raises his hand and says he believes he’ll be able to cut his toenails by himself! I just said, “I’m sure you will.” © JodiSOS / Reddit

• Teaching 8th grade — I had two really heavy-set boys in this class. They were told to give a presentation on their dream jobs. The heaviest of the two went first and said verbatim, “My dream is to be a famous chef. It is a dream I have with such a fiery passion. Just like, Steven’s dream is to swim in a swimming pool...filled with fried chicken.”. © klbstrang3 / Reddit
• A student said their family moved to a bigger house because their parents had another baby, and another student in the room said, “that must have been one big baby!” © mashkid / Reddit

What was the wittiest thing you heard a child say that caused you to laugh out loud?