Blended families can often be a hit or miss. Some stepparents love their new kids. Meanwhile, others, not so much. In this case, a mom feels that her stepdaughter is endangering her baby and decides that enough is enough.
Dear Bright Side,
I recently gave birth and currently live with my husband and stepdaughter. The issue is, I don’t like my stepdaughter near my baby. The second I take my eyes off her, she’ll try to pick him up. She tried to lift him up but almost dropped him five times, she tried to feed him apples, and almost spilled hot soup on him.
So, I locked my baby’s door. During her last visit, I stepped away for a minute, but heard my newborn cry. When I ran to his room, my blood ran hot.
She had dragged a dining chair across the room, climbed up on it, and was leaning over the bassinet with both hands around the baby, trying to lift him out. My heart dropped. I rushed over, scooped the baby up, and I was shaking so badly I could hardly speak.
That was my breaking point. I realized I cannot relax, I cannot even step away for a sip of water, without worrying that something could go horribly wrong. So, I told my husband flat-out, “She can’t come in here until the baby is older.” I told him that she has to stay with her biological mom.
My husband was upset and didn’t say anything yet. Is there any other solution to this? Please help.
Maria F.
Thank you for opening up, Maria! You have every right to be concerned for your baby’s well-being, especially if your stepdaughter is acting this reckless around him.
Locking the door during her visit was the right call. It’s unfortunate that she somehow found her way in. One reason she could be doing all this, is to grab your attention. She might be jealous of the baby and wants you to notice her more.
Your baby’s safety is your highest priority. Your husband needs to see that. You can try to plead your case once more by mentioning all the instances his daughter has put your baby in danger. Besides that, he can still visit his daughter in her biological mother’s home.
If he’s still not on board with the plan, then you’ll have to tell him that you’ll move (if possible) because you’re not compromising your baby’s safety.
It’s scary to think what could happen to the infant. You and your husband would be responsible for death or injury no matter what. You two need to be in agreement on how to keep the baby safe. A person small enough to need a chair to look into a crib is obviously too small to give child care safely. Start with the obvious dilemma, and use common sense.
You don't say how old the stepdaughter is but from the things being done and how etc I'm going to guess not too much more than 3 or so, this behaviour tells me she adores her baby brother and is trying to emulate you, both very normal actions for that kind of age. Relax, quit sounding like a neurotic and start being a mom of 2, if she was your own 1st born she would still, believe it or not, be doing the exact same kind of things, she just needs a gentle guiding hand to help her to do it safely for both their benefits. With your help she will learn the same skills that big brothers and sisters have been learning for thousands of years - the first opening trills of being a parent herself one day. By the way,this is why parents come to have eyes in the backs of their heads and can sooner or later hear the differences of 'silence' in the other room, help her get acquainted with her brother and set reasonable boundaries and above all keep gentle watch and she will become a great little helper and his staunchest cheerleader, keep treating her like she's a little monster out to hurt her baby brother and you will undoubtedly manage to turn her into the thing you are supposedly trying to stop.
Best comment EVER 💯
Once your decision is said, your stepdaughter might feel like you’re shunning her away from the family. For this reason, you can gently tell her that she’s a big girl and the way she’s handling your newborn is hurting him, so it’s best that she wait until he gets bigger and stronger. Then, he can play with her.
Maria’s concern comes from a caring mother’s point of view. Her stepdaughter and husband need to understand that a newborn is very fragile. For all the new mothers out there, here are some helpful tips to get you through the newborn phase safely.
Too little information. How old is the step-daughter? Why is she living with a new mom instead of her bio-mom?
Why is hubby not seeing how his kid could get hurt or killed?
Sounds like the stepdaughter is quite young and is excited to be a big sister. Rather than foster this lifelong relationship by providing some patient guidance for the older child, step mother overreacts. I get the distinct feeling this is going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
Buy her one of those real life baby dolls let her treat it like her baby.If you bath your baby include her let her bath her baby same with feeding.Help her when she hold it wrong.Do not exclude her.You will see she will come right and you bond will get better as she will feel included.I had my son 6 year after my daughter and I did it she loved taking care of her own baby like I took care of mine .And she never felt excluded
Umm seriously this is what happens with SIBLINGS!! Especially if they are close in age! How old is step? She is desperate (obviously) and excited to be a big sis you should (and especially dad) be encouraging it in a healthy with boundaries way. You are kind of an AHole here...
She's a child. Maybe spend some time with her and teach her how to treat a baby. Do you love her or resent her? Don't be the wicked step mother.
