I Want to Leave My Husband of 17 Years After He Stole From Me

Relationships
6 months ago

Dana, our reader, wrote us a letter and shared her story that provoked many emotions among us. She asked us to publish her story, because she wanted to hear some opinions of our readers, as well as some pieces of advice on whether she is right to be divorcing her husband after what he did. The man stole from his spouse, and now Dana can’t forgive him, and she has many reasons for being so furious and disappointed with her husband’s act.

Dana had a very valuable thing that she treasured a lot.

Dana opened her letter, saying, “I and my husband Derek have been happily married for over 17 years now. We have 2 kids and our life has been happy in its broadest meaning, until one thing happened that has jeopardized our relationship and trust between us.”

The woman revealed, “When I was 5 years old, my beloved Nana gave me her tea set. It was given to her by her mother. She had no daughters of her own, and I was the only girl of her 15 grandchildren, so she gave it to me. It’s a simple yet meaningful full bone china set.
I doubt it has any monetary value, but its sentimental value is immeasurable for me. I treasured it so much, because it was my heritage from Nana. I kept it and used it for many, many years. I even wanted to pass it down to my own daughter or granddaughter one day. My husband Derek knows all of this.”

The tea set was used in the family and became a part of special traditions.

Dana revealed, “Derek’s sister and her family came to stay with us for a week. Every time I have their little girls over, I pull out my special tea set for a tea party. I make tea sandwiches, cakes and biscuits.
This tradition has been alive for a long time in my family. My Nana also made tea parties a big deal with me, and I happily carry that tradition on. So me, my sister-in-law and her daughters had this afternoon tea party.”

The woman wrote, “It was a couple of weeks after that I had my friend and her little daughters coming to visit us. I planned a special tea party. The whole morning I baked, made sandwiches, then I went to pull my tea set out, and it disappeared.
I usually keep it in a cabinet in my kitchen. I gently wash it and put it away every time until the next time. I was so sad when I saw it was missing, and I started looking for it. My friend came and left, and I still hadn’t found it anywhere. The tea party and my mood were spoiled.”

Derek behaved in a normal way and Dana didn’t suspect him.

Dana revealed, “I spent long days and weeks tearing my house apart looking for my valuable tea set. I looked in every cabinet, every drawer, every cupboard, the whole house was literally turned inside out. Derek even helped me to look for it. He was sympathetic, and he expressed how pity it was that the set was gone. He also insisted that it couldn’t have grown feet and walk away on its own.”

Dana confessed, “That’s what really gets to me. Derek knew very well where it was, but he pretended that I had misplaced it. He knew how upset I was and tried to comfort me with promises to buy me a new set. As though a new set could replace my Nana’s.”

The woman revealed, “A few days later he came home with a cheap, thin looking set that he found and bought at some store. I threw it in the bin. Call me ungrateful if you want, but I was so furious that he couldn’t understand how irreplaceable my Nana’s set was.
Something I treasure, something of great sentimental value given to me by my long dead Nana couldn’t be replaced no matter how much, or little in this case, the replacement cost.”

The shocking revelation came unexpectedly.

Dana wrote, “One day, I heard my husband on the phone. I heard him say that when we visit, to put ’something’ away and tell Hailey (my niece’s name) not to mention it because I’m still upset about it. He didn’t say the words ’tea set’, but I knew, I just knew that’s what he was talking about.” The woman said, “I walked in while Derek was still on the phone and called him a thief. He was like a deer in headlights. He instantly hung up and tried to explain. I wouldn’t hear it. I told him to get my set back.”

Dana revealed, “Derek’s sister called me and I also called her a thief. I told her to return my tea set in the same condition she took it, or I would be calling the police. Then I hung up on her. Derek tried reasoning with me. He told me his little niece loved it so much, and that kind of thing really is for little girls.
He said he was about to talk to me about leaving it to her anyway, so where is the harm that she has it now. He said I was too old to be playing around with toys for kids and I really should grow up. He said I was immature and it means nothing. What he meant was that it means nothing to him, so I should forget it.”

Dana wrote, “The next day I went to the police to report the theft. I also called my brother, who lives in the same city as my husband’s sister. My brother went around and got my tea set.
My husband was livid and spent a couple of days calling me a lot of derogatory names. Now, he’s writing me long messages and he’s apologizing for everything. But I want a divorce, immediately. I just feel I can’t trust him anymore and my pain is too big.”

And here’s yet another story of a man, whose MIL shamelessly stole his valuable possessions, and when he found out what her aim was, he was raging.

Preview photo credit freepik / Freepik

Comments

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I’m with you. He had no regard for your feelings. He stole a very personal possession from you. And lied about it. I wouldn’t be able to trust him anymore either. And he called you names when he was the one who was in the wrong.

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I’d be calling the police & having the stolen tea set returned . I’d definitely divorce Derek. He stole from you.

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Time always tell the truth and shows true colors. He and his sister did you wrong but you're being accused of being the wrong one?? Called gaslighting and deflecting. I, too, would be divorcing him and take what I could back from him. The audacity. You're not wrong. I "value" material things that have history behind it, esp coming from someone I love so deeply and has passed. Sorry it took you all these yrs to see his true colors.

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