“No matter how good you were at raising your children, they’ll find something to tell their psychotherapist anyway.” There’s a grain of truth in this famous joke because parents are people who only want the best for their kids, but still forget, get tired, or just don’t pay attention to some things.
Reddit users discussed the things their parents did that may have seemed harmless at first, but ended up having a negative influence on them. And these actions affected them so much that they can’t forget about the experience, even as grown-ups. Many of the users shared their personal stories and we at Bright Side think that they deserve some attention.
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When I was 4, my parents adopted a kitten. I had never seen anything so cute before! I could barely keep my hands off of him. Several days later, I got up in the morning and couldn’t find the kitten at home. When I asked my parents where he was, they told me that he died. They implied that it happened because my roughhousing had killed it. I was terrified and couldn’t touch another animal for several years thereafter.
In reality, they had simply given the kitten back to the people they got it from. © thomoz
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Yes, it can be annoying to constantly answer children’s questions. But their inquiring minds need all these “But why mom, dad?” answers. I’ve met many adults who admit they stopped asking questions because their parents didn’t like it. © rccrisp
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Don’t smother your kids. My mom quit having her own life the moment my brother and I were born. She was an incredibly loving mother. But she had no friends, she didn’t work, and was home every single day from the day I was born, to when I moved out in my early 20s. She was very easy to upset and any time I screwed up, she felt like it was as a very personal attack against her. In the last 5 years before I moved out, I could barely remember any conversation that didn’t end up with her crying. Honestly, I wasn’t such a bad person. But I constantly felt cornered and I still sometimes feel like I’m a bad son who failed to live up to her love. © DBianco87
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Don’t treat your child like a friend you’re venting to. It’s extremely traumatic for the child’s psychological state to be the parent’s diary. © dumbgoddess
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I grew up in a very strict Asian household. My parents were very strict on the “never wake us up” policy. To this day, I still get very anxious and refuse to wake people up. The memories of being yelled at and locked in a closet are still fresh and I’m 22 years old. © xickennoogit
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Don’t say: “I don’t care who started it.” I grew up with friends whose siblings would provoke them into a rage, then cry and play the victim. In this case, it does matter who started it. A parent has to make it clear that violence doesn’t only mean fighting. Of course, children will always find loopholes in the rules, but their parents have to show them that manipulating someone will be punished too. © akelton07
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When I was a kid, I used to love singing in the chorus and was constantly learning new songs at home. But soon, I stopped doing that because my parents and sisters were constantly teasing me. Now I sing only when I’m alone or jokingly with some friends. But do you know what really hurt me? Once, my sister asked me why I never pursued singing since I seemed to love it so much when I was a child. I nearly started crying and blaming her.
It’s always funny for the ones doing the teasing, but it actually hurts the ones being teased. Especially when it’s coming from people who are supposed to love you. © bunnyrut
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My mom used to go through my things and even through my trash. She always said it was to make sure I wasn’t throwing out anything important. She used to find my pieces of writing and drawings and wasn’t ashamed to mock me for my art. I’m a grown-up now, but my mother still controls me. She really crossed the line when she went through my sock drawer and found a box of condoms. She emotionally told my colleagues about it (we used to work at the same department), shaming me for having relationships with my boyfriend. This story happened when I was 25 and I moved out soon after.
I’m 31 now and I’m just now starting to learn to respect my boyfriend’s boundaries and privacy. I used to go through his very personal belongings, throw out things I didn’t see as important, and just violated his privacy in all sorts of ways.© unknown
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We all love our children and want to make them feel special. But if they feel like they’re exclusive and can be winners in any situation, you aren’t helping them. They’ll get disappointed in life when they understand that you can’t always win. Show them that disappointment is normal. It’ll help them handle stress better in adult life. © supersonic-hedgehog
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Don’t get children involved in problems they have no control over. My parents felt no need to hide them from me. I had to constantly listen to them fighting and blaming each other and couldn’t sleep normally for months. I was convinced the cops were gonna bust in at midnight and throw us all outside because my parents told me we could lose the rights to our house. Why would anyone share things like this with a child? © EmpressBoaHanc0ck
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Every time a child is playing with someone of the opposite gender, they say: “Oh, who’s your boy/girlfriend?” In my case, it completely stopped me from even speaking to girls for a long time. © GoldenBruhtado
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I was always told: “You must always finish what’s on your plate.” What can I say, I was overeating for years and it took a lot of work to break the habit and shed the extra weight. © bearssuperfan
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Don’t make your children show physical affection when they don’t want to. If uncle Bob makes them uncomfortable, don’t make them give him a hug. Aunt Karen freaks them out? Don’t make them kiss her. It’s important that they are kind and friendly, but don’t teach them that the feelings of others are more important than their own comfort. © ingloriousbaxtr
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My parents always told me that they “didn’t care about justice, they cared about peace and quiet.” And that “life isn’t fair.” I believed them. So I rarely asked for help. They like to tell a “funny” story about the day when I got stuck on the porch and was afraid to yell for help for hours. Like “Haha, you’re such a funny kid.” But I remember being too afraid of my parents to scream and call them for help.
Now, when I grow up, my parents say: “Oh, but we didn’t mean it.” No, you did mean it. You wanted me to be quiet. It was the only thing that mattered. © chronically_varelse
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When I was 7, I told my mom about a nightmare I had and I specifically asked her to not tell anyone. And then we went to a family dinner and she told everyone at the dinner table about my dream. I never shared anything with her again. © dikklejuice
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Once my parents sat me down at the kitchen table and forced me to write a letter to my boyfriend. I was supposed to tell him that I didn’t want to see him anymore. I cried the entire time. After I was done, they posted pictures of the letter all over Facebook and acted like it was nothing. © M0u53trap
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When I was in primary school, I won a scholarship for private singing lessons. One day my dad stopped taking me, saying he couldn’t afford them anymore. At the time I didn’t know the lessons were already paid for from the scholarship, he just thought the lessons were useless. © Didgaridildo
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“Big boys don’t cry.” This “harmless” saying actually causes men to shut off from their emotions and doesn’t let them form strong emotional bonds in the future. © Mylegsarenumb
Do you think that parental mistakes can heavily influence the adult life of the child? Or is it better to leave childhood wounds behind?
