12 Stories About Kids’ Unique Humor
Children have their own perception of the world that isn’t limited to templates and stereotypes. That’s why their incredible and often unique statements, solutions to problems, and advice leave us with only positive emotions.
Bright Side gathered stories where kids are the main characters, and which reveal their superb wit and great sense of humor.
Once my daughter says,
“Mary is 3 and I’m already 4, ha ha ha!”
I answer, “And I’m 30, ha ha ha!”
And my baby utters, “Mom, 30 years aren’t ha ha ha, but oh oh oh!”
I’m a math teacher at a school. Once, we were out walking with my daughter and a boy from our school came up to us several times, asking questions like, “Are there 365 days in one year?” or “Are there 60 minutes in one hour?” without explaining anything.
Later, I noticed a group of kids around him. They were discussing something. It appeared that he calculated their age in days, hours, minutes, and even tried in seconds. Everyone was so proud: someone had 71,175 hours, someone had 4 million minutes. Well, the hype was really impressive. But the climax of the evening was when he was asked to calculate one kid’s age again and he answered, “You didn’t lend me your bicycle yesterday, so you’re just 9 years old.” That boy rocks. He’s got a great future ahead of him.
One day, our daughter came home without her bicycle. She said she’d lent it to a girl and her grandpa. They took our home address and promised to give the bicycle back sometime later.
Well, my husband and I were happy that our daughter had turned out to be a kind rather than a greedy girl, but we explained that she shouldn’t be that gullible.
Two hours later, the doorbell rang — they had brought back the bicycle along with some candy.
Our daughter put her hand into her pocket:
“Here’s your cell phone.”
A shampoo ad on TV:
“Your shampoo resolves 1 problem, and mine resolves 5!”
Jane (9 years’ old) answers the TV:
“So, you have more problems than we have.”
A second-grader, James, always wanted to have a brother. And his parents promised that his brother was going to live with them soon. Finally, his parents brought home a noisy little something:
“Meet your new brother. He’s gonna live with us.”
James peered at the baby’s wrinkled face with increasing disappointment.
“Why didn’t you say it was going to be a little brother?! I thought it would be an older brother! I don’t want a little brother, I want an older one!”
A boy sends three SMS in a row:
The 1st: “Mom, you’re the best mom in the world.”
The 2nd: “Mom, I love you.”
The 3rd: “I got a C on my test.”
When my brother was 5, he was expelled from a kindergarten because he was too interested in love. He used to kiss each girl in his group. The girls refused to go to the kindergarten because Johnny was there! And Johnny ran after the girls and kissed them. Neither stern conversations nor punishments stopped him from doing it.
In another kindergarten, one of Johnny’s teachers gave him a book with pictures explaining where babies come from. He sat with this book all day long. The next day, Johnny came to the kindergarten and... chased absolutely no one! He stopped doing that. Everything ended just as fast as it had started.
When he was older, I remembered that story and asked him why he kissed girls. He answered that he just liked doing it. But stopped because he got scared that they would become pregnant.
My niece was watching an opera singer perform and said, “And when we yell like this at kindergarten, we get punished.”
I came home one day after work and took off my shoes and jacket. I saw my niece, who is 5 years’ old. She saw me and said gleefully:
“Uncle, look what my granny gave me!”
And showed me a male doll.
“Wow, who is that?”
“Uncle, don’t you know? It’s Ken! He’s just like you: handsome, tall, with dark hair. Only he doesn’t have a belly like yours.”
“Dad, what’s it mean to be a real man?”
“Well, he’s a strong person who loves, protects, and takes care of his family.”
“Great! I wanna be a real man. Just like mom!”
We were going to go for a walk. Alex grabbed 2 baby dolls and said:
“I’m going with them!”
“Ha ha! You’re going to go for a walk with dolls, just like a girl.”
And he answered proudly:
“I’m their father!”
I was driving out of the city with my 6-year-old son. Suddenly, I heard his voice:
“Is this the road to Tralee?”
“Well, this is route 22, it goes from Killarney to Tralee.”
“Don’t talk so much. Just say ’yes.’”
Share the funny things your kids said in the comments to cheer us adults up!