11 Types of Manipulators That We Meet in Our Everyday Life
We all want our needs to be satisfied. But there are people who will go to great lengths to manipulate others to get what they want. Frequently, such emotional impact is hidden and looks like a kind gesture. But if you learn how to recognize the main manipulative methods, you’ll never become a puppeteer’s marionette.
Bright Side gathered some advice on how to behave if a manipulator tries to assert themselves.
11. The “helpless” act
Such people pretend to be helpless to make other people deal with their responsibilities. In most cases, women choose this role and use their so-called “weakness.” But there are more and more men who prefer behaving this way. Such manipulators usually have no trouble climbing up the career ladder because of the people around who help them. Ask yourself whether you’re ready to waste your time and your effort on people who want to use you.
10. Skillful word players
It’s OK to sometimes misinterpret someone’s words or actions the wrong way, but skillful manipulators will say things in a certain way on purpose so that you can’t hold them accountable for their actions. And when they see your reaction, they twist it so it seems like you’re the one who got them wrong. They also claim that they never promised anything. You always have to hold such manipulators to their promises.
9. Impracticable promises
Can you remember how often you have made hasty promises under pressure? Manipulators make you answer them immediately and then they guilt you into doing something. And it’s almost impossible to refuse when it comes to a friend. Next time someone asks you to help, don’t make a promise in a rush. But if you’ve already promised something, keep your word. Think twice before you take extra responsibility.
8. Parental manipulation
Sometimes it can be very difficult to understand that our parents manipulate us. But they often become manipulators to impose their own opinion, control their children’s actions, and interfere with their private life. That’s why we have to know how to defend our views and not to let people control our life. It can be difficult but it’s really important: you shouldn’t forget about your interests.
7. A partner’s parental manipulation
This is probably one of the most common types of manipulators. Parents think that they do everything to make their children happy and they don’t understand that their nagging often end up ruining happy marriages. Lots of mothers try to impose their views and explain to their child what the perfect partner should be like. To eliminate such manipulations, you should try to explain that your family consists of you, your beloved, and your children. Be polite but be strict and firm, as well.
6. The guilty innocent
Unfortunately, there are people who completely disregard the decisions, phrases, and actions of others, even those of their friends and family. They react too quickly and, as a rule, regret their behavior. They also have a habit of blaming everyone around them for even their own mistakes. Manipulators try to put it all on you so that you feel guilty and they don’t feel responsible for their failures. Don’t be afraid to point out the real reasons for their behavior.
5. The cost of forgiveness
An argument is an inevitable part of any relationship between a man and a woman. Unfortunately, it’s sometimes almost impossible to repair the damage done during a fight. That’s why a manipulator tries to buy their partner’s forgiveness. Any gift turns into a bribe because a person manipulates your gratitude. It’d be better to refuse to take a present if you want to show that you’re upset.
4. “It’s better for...”
A manipulator tries to deprive you of your right to choose by using your love and sense of moral duty to control your life and actions. If you’re manipulated in such a way, use the same method. Moreover, you can offer a compromise that will suit you both.
3. Family comes first
This is one of the most common types of manipulation in families. A manipulator tries to convince you that a child is the main element of a healthy relationship. They highlight the importance of family ties, manipulate your feelings, and want to replace your family values with their own. You should avoid this type of trap and continue thinking rationally.
Think whether you’re ready for such changes or not. If you need some time, let your partner know. But don’t make hasty decisions when it comes to such important questions.
2. Exaggerated feelings of self-importance
If your boss is a manipulator, you can easily get into such a situation. They give tasks and instructions, demonstrate their significance, criticize, and find fault with employees. They tolerate no objections and scream a lot. To avoid negative situations and to protect your nerves, don’t be afraid to remind them that their requests don’t correspond to your duties. Don’t be afraid to say, “It’s not my job.”
1. Adult child
Sometimes, a person can’t accept life as it is and their parents do everything for them and take care of them as if they were little kids. Such parents pay off all the debts and try to balance 2 jobs while their adult children just go with the flow and manipulate their parents. Such a situation is harmful to both parents and their children. So if you understand that your child is manipulating you, use your parental wisdom and help them adjust to the world.
Have you ever met any of these manipulators? Share your experience and advice in the comments!
Preview photo credit advfilms
Illustrated by Oleg Guta for BrightSide.me