“It’s Not My Fault” and 7 Other Things That Toxic People Do
Chronic negativity can literally kill you and this has been proven scientifically. Drama queens can destroy your life. We guess that each of us has probably had a toxic colleague or a friend who always sucks our energy. We usually start feeling exhausted around these people. But there are more things that toxic people do that will help us recognize them.
We at Bright Side wish everyone a healthy and happy environment at work and at home and found 7 habits of toxic people that we should be on the lookout for.
1. Manipulation and control
Toxic manipulative people are actually not interested in you or your feelings. They just use this “weapon” to control you so you can become a part of their plans.
There can be several ways of doing this and you might not even recognize the manipulation:
- Twisting what you said
- Making you feel like you are crazy
- Playing the victim
- Behaving aggressively and forcing you to defend yourself
- Threatening you
2. Not apologizing
No matter what a toxic person does, it is not their fault. It is so hard for them to deal with this. They will often start arguing and trying to protect themselves rather than say they’re sorry.
The reasons for why they can’t accept their own faults can be many:
- Apologies could represent a threat to their self-esteem
- Shame, for toxic people, is unbearable
- They don’t want to take responsibility for their actions
- They prefer to feel anger and aggression to feeling something positive
3. Projecting their feelings on you
It could be a lady in a crowd who thought that you were laughing at her while it was absolutely for a different innocent reason. Even if it has nothing to do with you, a toxic person will still try to involve you somehow and make you feel uncomfortable because of negative thinking.
When it comes to toxic people:
- If you don’t know a person, just stay away from them.
- If it is your close friend, try to show appreciation but, make sure the other person listens and really understands how sincere it is.
4. Coming out of the blue
There is the example of when you get so tired of a person, that you can’t even control your irritation and ask what happened again. But nothing happened. They just created a negative situation in their head by themselves and now want to suck your energy.
It is better to:
- Not get involved in arguments
- Not listen or defend yourself
- Not need to be right
5. Calling and crying
Yes, we all sometimes have bad days, but when it becomes a habit, it is toxic. Calling every day or every week and complaining about everything can make anyone crazy.
- Set boundaries and don’t spend time with a toxic person.
- Don’t rationalize and try to explain why a person is always negative.
- Look for a more positive influence and get closer to more positive people.
6. They don’t accept “No.”
Toxic people literally make you feel scared to say no. They ask you for something and if you refuse, they start to manipulate you to get the answer that they want. This happens because toxic people don’t understand that other people also have boundaries.
- Saying “No” is normal, especially when you know that you can’t keep a promise.
- Saying “No” shouldn’t make you feel guilty if you know that it is the right decision.
7. Your success is always a torture for them.
Once in our lifetimes, each of us has probably met a person who becomes pale in the face when they find out about our success. It can be a friend or a relative. And it hurts. You want to share the joy with them, but instead, you get a sour expression.
What to do in this case:
- If your friend or relative is toxic, it is better to minimize contact with them.
- Only you can decide how close you want to be with this toxic person.
Do you know effective ways for how to deal with toxic people? Do you think it is a feature that is possible to fix? Please, share your stories below!
Illustrated by Alena Tsarkova, Leisan Gabidullina for BrightSide.me