16 Stereotypes That Modern Parents Should Leave in the Past
Many people believe that it fully depends on parents whether their child grows up a well-mannered, good, and successful person. This imposes a huge responsibility on moms and dads and their behavior is often criticized.
At Bright Side, we believe that happy and calm parents are one of the keys to a happy childhood. And we made a small list of things that modern moms and dads can go ahead and forget about.
Feeling guilty about your home not being clean
When a baby appears in the house, cleaning seems to become one of the most important things. After all, babies crawl and put literally everything they stumble upon into their mouths. However, you shouldn’t always try to make your home sterile. The immune system of children is much stronger than adults think.
Sometimes moms and dads need to give themselves a break and just relax. There is nothing wrong with a little mess at home. The parents’ peace of mind is more important than cleanliness.
Trying to look perfect
New mothers often feel pressure about how they should look. Not only the house and the baby should look perfect, but also the mother should be well-groomed and fit.
In fact, some moms don’t even have enough time to take a shower during the first months after having a baby. There are a few tricks you can use here. Either take the child with you to the bathroom or wait until the baby falls asleep to get 10 minutes to yourself to take a shower.
Staying at home all the time
The question of whether you can take your baby to public places should be decided by your pediatrician, and not by random people around you. If the child is vaccinated and doesn’t have any health problems, it’s quite possible to go out with them a few months after they are born.
Parents should focus on their own desires and the recommendations of experts. There is no need to take into account the opinions of relatives, friends, or caring strangers.
Being ashamed of a crying baby
Children of all ages misbehave in public. By crying and screaming, they usually express their negative emotions. But this doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t go out into public. A child understands the words, “Don’t cry!” as someone saying that they should be happy all the time, or at least demonstrate the visibility of happiness.
Parents shouldn’t be ashamed if their child doesn’t behave perfectly. Children are human too and have the right to get tired, upset, or angry.
Being ashamed of having fun with children
Children often copy their parents’ behavior. This also applies to having fun. Therefore, games and having fun together plays a big role in their upbringing, along with training and serious conversations.
Being puzzled about early education
Parents and experts have yet to come to an agreement on whether early childhood education should be mandatory. There are pros and cons to both sides.
On the one hand, early education can help a child in school. On the other hand, lessons like these deprive them of their childhood. So each parent chooses for themselves which position is more relevant to them.
Comparing yourself with a perfect mother
Trying to be a perfect mother is a pretty dangerous route to try to take. According to psychologists, this often leads to nervous breakdowns and parental burnout. There is nothing wrong with the fact that a woman can’t find time to do everything, and that any little thing can bring her to tears.
Doing anything to not spoil your child
A baby simply can’t be spoiled. Until they’re about 9 months, they are not yet able to manipulate adults, and therefore they cry or scream when something bothers them. Even if you hold your child in your arms all day, it’s impossible to spoil them. Moreover, a child feels more secure when they have frequent bodily contact with their parents.
Apologizing to strangers for your child’s behavior
For most adults, the petty nagging from others is an unpleasant, but rather a harmless norm in life. But for children, it can be a real challenge. Therefore, kids should be taught to tolerate criticism calmly and without shame. One option is to show them how to react correctly. If the remark that was made was reasonable, there is no reason to feel upset and embarrassed. You should explain calmly to your child that everything will be OK.
Bringing yourself and your child to tears with prohibitions
While scientists disagree on how much time a child can spend in front of the TV every day, they are unanimous that this is not the best activity for toddlers. Children should be limited when it comes to these things. But if the mother is really worn out and tired, it’s better to turn on your child’s favorite cartoons for 30 minutes, and not bring yourself and your child to tears over it.
Leaving no time for yourself
Every parent needs rest and a little time for themselves. If you don’t take these breaks, it can end poorly for both children and adults. Therefore, if mom or dad decides to take a couple of hours for themselves, it’s preferable to leave the baby with a nanny or with relatives.
Forcing yourself to spend more time cooking
It’s not that easy for modern parents to find a few extra hours to cook all sorts of dishes. A hearty and appetizing lunch already seems like an achievement. If there is a choice — to cook pies for the kids or go for a walk and play with them — the latter option is better.
Being afraid to ask for help
Various stereotypes, including gender stereotypes, are formed in childhood. And it’s not easy to get rid of the tedious role of a caring homemaker in adulthood. Therefore, you should not broadcast these behavior patterns to your children.
If parents don’t have enough time for cleaning or cooking, they can always hire professional services or ask relatives for help so they can spend a few free hours taking care of their baby or sleeping.
Being too caring
Parental care and concern is a completely natural and necessary thing. But when it transforms into the control of every step of the child in order to protect them from any mistakes or dangers, this can do more harm than good. Children in these families grow up more nervous and less adapted to all kinds of hardships in life.
Force-feeding a baby
Toddlers can be picky eaters. At the same time, feeding them by force or by distracting them with various toys is not worth it. There is more harm than good from this approach. If the child refuses to eat something, you can offer them another dish or serve the food they don’t like in a new, unusual way. And you don’t have to closely monitor the exact amount of food they eat.
Not letting yourself or your child have a break
Sometimes a child should be allowed to skip school. Of course, you shouldn’t make it a habit and arrange a day off for your child at their first request. But if the workload at school is really heavy and the child looks exhausted, you can give them a short break once every few months.
What were the most painful moments of your experience with parenthood? Tell us in the comments below.