17 Stories That Prove Living in an Apartment Is Funnier Than a Reality Show

The cat that can easily “discipline” the neighbor’s dogs, the intrusive neighbors, and the noise from next door — these are the everyday realities for those who live in apartment buildings or houses located next to not-so-considerate people. Fortunately, interactions with neighbors also bring plenty of amusing moments and sometimes turn into an interesting performance.

• Just moved into a new apartment. I hear the door opening. No bell, no knock. And with the words “Hey, neighbors! Let’s get acquainted!” a woman about 30, in slippers and a puffer jacket, bursts into the hallway.
  Without much ceremony, she marches into the kitchen, eyeing my belongings along the way. She grabs my hand, starts shaking it, and cheerfully reports that she’s the neighbor, Tammy, living 2 floors above.
  Then came a barrage of questions and instructions: “Do you have kids? Are you married? Are you really alone? You know, don’t just bring anybody around, we are a decent house.” I was stunned by this intrusive friendly welcome. Trying not to be too rude, I walked her out the door.
  But that wasn’t the end of her surprises. In the following days, she repeatedly tried to barge into my home with offers to have tea and gossip, but I didn’t let her in.
  Then, one Saturday at 8 a.m., I was awakened by an especially loud knocking on the door. I open up. And 2 kids slip into the apartment past me. She’s holding a third one in her arms. With a cheerful voice, she reports she needs to take the youngest somewhere, and she’ll leave her kids with me until lunch.
  “Oh, no, you won’t,” I countered, and showed her out with the whole family. I threatened that if she tried anything like that again, she’d be picking up her kids from social services in the evening. Turned out this lady approaches every new tenant this way and has already worn everyone out with her “simplicity.” © qugieboogie / Pikabu
• The neighbor’s daughter Maria and my daughter are friends. We, mothers, also communicate.
  One day, tired after work, I peeked into my daughter’s room to find a mess. In a moment of frustration, I yelled at my daughter, “Maria’s room is always tidy!” She was upset.
  A few days later, the neighbor came over for a visit and confided over tea, “Maria and I have a secret: we have a monthly decluttering day. We throw out everything old and irritating, then have tea and pastries. The next day, we crank up the music and clean the house. When there’s not much stuff, it’s not that hard.”

• My husband and I bought an apartment from the developer and were delighted. A month later, the neighbor below us, an old eccentric, came with a complaint, “Your pipes are humming!” We couldn’t hear it. He started banging on the radiators.
  We called a plumber to deal with him, and he came back wide-eyed and said, “He has perfect hearing. There’s a microcrack in your pipe that can’t be heard, but the vibration is there. If it weren’t for him, within 6 months to a year, you’d have been flooded.”
  It turned out that the neighbor was a former acoustic engineer. The crack was patched, and we brought him a cake and thanked him. Now, at the first sign of any strange noise, we go to him first. He just smirks, “So, having glitches again?”
• The neighbors try to outdo me in everything I do. As soon as I put a birdbath in my garden, they put one too. I added a feeder — they did too. Whenever I add more bird feed — they rush to do the same in their yard. If I mention that I went out of town, they immediately start listing places they’ve been, as if it’s a competition.
  One time, I noticed the neighbors watching me from the window, so I planted bushes along the property line to block their view. You should have seen how they jumped when they saw it! They started loudly discussing how they were planning to plant bushes there themselves anyway, so I just saved them some money. It was funny and creepy at the same time. © Unknown author / Quora
• My neighbor gave the courier my number and said I would accept the order without even telling me. The courier woke my children while banging on my door to explain the situation. I didn’t even have my neighbor’s number; we aren’t close, just have doors next to each other.
  So, I asked him to knock on her door. And then this lady comes out and brazenly says, “I wanted to sleep, so I gave your address.” © meruert_sn

• The neighbors asked me to lend them some of my chairs for a family gathering. I did. Apparently, during the height of the party, they needed another chair. I was bringing it to them, and the guests invited me to join them at the table.
  It felt a bit awkward to refuse, so I sat down and ate some salad. Everyone kept congratulating the neighbor, so I figured it was his anniversary.
  Suddenly, the doorbell rang. The neighbor’s wife went to open it. A woman burst in, shouting, and was outraged. All the guests were in shock.
  Turned out it was the neighbor’s mistress. The scandal began, and I just kept eating my salad, quite worried that my chairs might end up being used for something other than sitting... I finished my salad and then went home. © Overheard / Ideer
• Recently moved into a new residential complex, and the kitchen faucet broke. I wrote in the house chat, and the neighbor from downstairs offered his help. He helped, and we started chatting; he said he was single.
  He invited me to dinner, and we arranged a meeting. A little later, while taking out the trash, I was quite surprised to spot him with a stroller and his wife. © anaitt93

• Our neighbor didn’t really interact with us that much, but then he invited our whole family over to his place. So, we showed up around 11 a.m., bringing some sweets with us.
  He started discussing housing matters with my dad, and they talked for 3 hours, and during that time the only thing we were offered was a glass of water. He didn’t even offer us our own sweets.
  And then, in the morning while we were having breakfast, the neighbor came back to talk to my dad about housing again. I asked, “Good morning! Have you had breakfast yet?” “No, not yet,” he replied. “Well, have breakfast at home first, and then come over to chat,” I stated.
  You should’ve seen his face! My parents, however, convinced him to eat with us, and Mom wasn’t pleased with my little stunt, but I don’t regret it one bit. © Adarsh Gupta / Quora
• It’s 1 a.m., the intercom rings, my little daughter is asleep. I was incredibly frightened. I wasn’t expecting anyone.
  It turned out to be the neighbor ringing my intercom because, well, his wife and young child were sleeping at home. And he forgot his keys. And he knew that I also have a young child! © yana_nilova
• We live in Italy, in a residential area. All the neighbors are 60+, but they’re active, tanned, ride Vespa scooters. Today, a neighbor took my number because they often have parties here in the summer. And she said, like, if it gets too loud, just call.
  And I can already imagine myself, a 30-year-old, calling a 65-year-old, “Umm... ma’am, could you please keep it down? It’s bedtime for me...” That’s how it is when you’re the boring one, and the retirees are the party animals. © adamtatsiana

• I live in Ottawa, a city whose point of pride is that we are the coldest national capital in the world. We also get a lot of snow and to deal with it, the city maintains and contracts for a large fleet of snow plows.
  The way that snow plows work is that they drive down the right hand side of the street and push the snow to the right. Where there is a lawn, the snow goes onto the lawn. If there is a snow bank there already, the snow from the road gets pushed against the existing snow bank. Alas, when the plow reaches a cleared driveway, the snow that has been accumulating on the plow, as well as the snow from the immediate roadway gets dumped onto the driveway.
  In our case, my “upstream” neighbor had a double wide driveway and a huge amount of accumulated snow would always get dumped on his property. By the time the plow reached my driveway, only a few feet away, there was only a little snow left to dump. My neighbor was so angry about what he considered unfair treatment that he contacted the city to demand that the plows reverse directions and dump the snow on my property instead of his.
  This would have meant that the plows would have to drive on the wrong side of the street and as this was a non-starter, they declined his request. This was also the neighbor who demanded that I return any good apples that fell onto my property from his tree but that I was not to return the rotten ones. © Mark Podolak / Quora
• I was about 12 years old, living in an apartment on the first floor. I was told to wash the windows.
  Our special cleaning supplies were water, vinegar, a cloth, and, of course, newspapers. I’m standing on a stool at the open window, washing the glass. An elderly neighbor walks out of the entrance, sees me, and forgets where she was headed.
  — Washing the windows?
  — Hello. Yes, I am.
  She starts laughing:
  — Who taught you to wash windows like that? You should use water with vinegar.
  — It’s with vinegar.
  — And you should wipe them with a newspaper!
  — I have a newspaper here.
  — Well, okay, I’ll be going.
  And she left, upset. © mariia__kubrak

• The neighbor from upstairs has flooded my apartment 6 times. The ceilings are blooming, the tiles are falling off, the wiring has rotted and had to be replaced — no big deal, we got used to it. I never demanded compensation, just asked to have everything fixed.
  And then, last week, I woke up to the sound of water dripping in the bathroom. I wake her up, drag her over, show her, and she yells, “What does this have to do with me?” Meanwhile, water is dripping from my ceiling, and she has water up to her ankles on her floor.
  My husband is yelling, “Do you know how much I paid to fix this stupid wiring?” To which she casually replies, “You need to work harder to have money.” At that point, I was speechless.
  Then I went ahead and called a local plumber who made a report. I found reports from the previous 2 floods stating that their cause was a pipe burst and a broken faucet in her apartment. Well, see you in court. Let her learn to work better so she can afford compensation. © ajdussek
• I live in a house. I was outside walking the dog, and there came a neighbor. He told me I looked indecent and suggested that I should dress up. But I looked fine: wearing long pajama pants, a white tank top, and a long robe over everything.
  The funny thing is that a week later I saw this advocate of morality and decency running for coffee in pajama pants. © Cherale White / Quora
• Our Oriental cat knows how to open doors and lock the latch. Once we forgot to close the door. So the cat went out into the corridor, entered the neighbor’s apartment, and “educated” their 2 dogs in his manner.
  The neighbor rang the doorbell and asked us to take our cat home. Now all the neighbors are afraid of our Vinny. © _nesterenko_e

• We have very “good” soundproofing in our house. Yesterday, I was getting ready to leave, running late, and couldn’t find my phone. Frustrated, I blurted out loudly, “Darn it, where did I put that stupid phone?”
  Then from beyond the wall, I heard my neighbor’s muffled voice, “Check the bathroom, it seems you got a text there.” © sergeipd2022
• I’ve noticed that my neighbor watches cooking shows in the evenings. It’s strange for a guy who usually tinkers with engines in the garage.
  One day, I asked him about it. He smirked and suddenly confessed, “Yeah, my wife doesn’t pay attention to me anymore, so I’m learning to cook to at least catch her attention that way.”
  A month later, I ran into his wife at the store. I asked how things were going, and she looked down and said, “You know, now he cooks such dinners... I even bought new perfume and a dress. Doesn’t feel right to eat meals like this in an old robe.”
  Interesting. He thought the problem was him, but she just needed a reason to feel like a woman. © alex.rexby

Do your neighbors perform any stunts? Share your stories.

And these nightmare neighbors made people sleep with one eye open.