When both parents work full-time, managing life with a small child can be challenging. Lenny turned to her mother-in-law, who had ample free time, for help. However, her mother-in-law refused to babysit all day, stating it wasn’t her responsibility. Frustrated, Lenny made a drastic decision, and the situation quickly spiraled out of control. Feeling overwhelmed and heartbroken, the young mom reached out to us for advice.
But why would you ban the grandma just because she doesn't want to babysit? It is NOT grand-parents job to take care of their grand-children, but what this grandma did was crazy. Sounds like both of you have some kind of beef between each other.
Hi Lenny! Thank you for sharing your story. We’ve prepared some tips that can help you navigate through this situation.
Your husband’s dismissive attitude is a serious issue. Have a calm but firm discussion to express how his lack of support during this incident left you feeling isolated and betrayed.
Emphasize that as co-parents, you need to make unified decisions, especially in matters involving your child’s safety. If he resists, consider involving a marriage counselor to help navigate this conflict.
Your MIL’s actions—forcing her way in and taking your child—could qualify as unlawful. Consult a family lawyer to explore options such as a restraining order or other legal measures to ensure she cannot access your home or child without your permission.
This will not only protect your child but also set clear consequences for boundary violations.
Ok I agree Granny doesn't need to babysit everyday BUUUUT the minute she kidnapped that baby she would be in the hospital!!! And what she did WAS kidnapping. She forced her way into someone else's home stole the baby AND all his belongings!?! She wouldn't even be awake yet!
Your MIL was critically out of line, but OP needs a lesson in boundaries to. You're not in charge of how your MIL uses her time. ALL SHE DOES IS ZUMBA...ECT...? And then ban her from seeing her grandchild when you don't get what you want from her? She's done her time. I hope she takes you to court and gets grandparents rights.
Grandparents rights cases are frivolous and a waste of time usually it's because they refuse to respect boundaries. There's no telling what else pseudo convenience granny has done
Have a direct but firm conversation with your MIL. Calmly explain why her behavior was unacceptable and how it breached your trust as a parent.
Lay down specific rules about her involvement in your child’s life, such as requiring your explicit permission for visits. Make it clear that while she is the grandmother, these boundaries are non-negotiable.
Ensure your nanny feels empowered and secure in her role. Discuss what happened and offer support to rebuild her confidence. Provide clear instructions on how to handle unapproved visitors in the future, including calling the police if necessary.
This will prevent a repeat of the situation and help establish her authority while caring for your child.
Frannie is caught in a tense conflict with her mother-in-law. The MIL generously offered to buy the newlyweds a house, but Frannie is hesitant to accept such a significant gift, fearing it would come with strings attached. She describes her MIL as a control freak, which only heightens her concerns. To make matters worse, Frannie's husband is siding with his mother, leaving her feeling unsupported. Read her full story here.
They addressed the mil's bad behavior, but not the dil's bad behavior! Dil acted out of turn and immature, also. They could use some individual and family therapy!
DIL was waaaay out of line banning MIL from seeing their son because she didn't want to spend every day babysitting while THEY work, when clearly they were able to hire a Nanny. BUT, MIL was even MORE out of line kidnapping her grandchild! What the heck was she THINKING do some crazy mess like that??
For THAT, she would definitely not be allowed to see the baby unless one or both of his parents are PRESENT!! DIL was TA to start, and MIL took AH-ling to a whole new level!! And where was Hubby/Dad during all of this?? It sounds to me like they are ALL AH's!! That poor kid! 🫤
Grow up, your children are not pawns for you to use as your advantage or not. Not all grandmothers have to be the picture perfect old lady sitting in a rocking chair watching your kids for you and she should be doing whatever the heck she wants to, we did our time as parents, now do yours. Grandparents are not automatic babysitters and it doesn't mean they love them less and if you think it does then you have a problem.
