When both parents work full-time, managing life with a small child can be challenging. Lenny turned to her mother-in-law, who had ample free time, for help. However, her mother-in-law refused to babysit all day, stating it wasn’t her responsibility. Frustrated, Lenny made a drastic decision, and the situation quickly spiraled out of control. Feeling overwhelmed and heartbroken, the young mom reached out to us for advice.
But why would you ban the grandma just because she doesn't want to babysit? It is NOT grand-parents job to take care of their grand-children, but what this grandma did was crazy. Sounds like both of you have some kind of beef between each other.
I think the mother should've ask the mil if she could watch her baby a few days out of the week and hire a nanny for the other days... compromise. Then go from there.
While it's frustrating that you had to hire a nanny and she won't babysit.. she's right. Yes. You went to far from banning her. She is still grandma. You can't ban her because you didn't get your way. You wanted her to sit. She set up boundaries. Good for her. If you thought your child was unsafe or if grandma if a toxic person those are reasons to ban her from seeing your child. I mean he's your child. You can do anything you want of course within reason. But doesn't make it right. You don't want to mess your relationship with your in-laws. Apologize. Best of luck!
Sounds like mom and grandma are both psychotic. Using a baby as leverage to get a relative to babysit full-time while you work is messed up. And I bet for FREE, otherwise they would've just went with a nanny from the get go. And grannys reaction was bad all the way around. Poor husband and kid stuck in the middle.
You didn't overreact not one bit. I'd press charges on MIL for breaking in and entering and kidnapping and child endangerment. Better yet restraining order cause you know she can't keep it. There is the proof she puts her wants before your child's needs. There was no agreement for the MIL to be in the house or to take the child out of the house without the parents permission or knowledge. Her husband needs to put his big boy pants on and set boundaries. That's the same kind of crazy grandmotherthat will call CPS in revenge, bet. You did right to ban her because she's so unhinged she violated so many boundaries and laws.
That's kidnapping ban that b#### put him out to if he says something hire a nanny full time
She is right that she is a grandmother, not a nanny. The daughter in Law seems to be entitled and quite vindictive.
All of you are wrong. Please reread the whole post. Quick to accuse the mother of taking advantage of the grandmother. The mother did hire a nanny, the grandma decided to run roughshod over the nanny and took the grandson. The grandma is wrong.
Yes she is
She did hire a nanny since the grandmother said it wasn’t her responsibility to babysit. The grandmother was wrong to run roughshod over the nanny to take the grandson to her house. This is a situation the husband needs to step up and deal with his mother. If he’s not going to support his wife over his mother this is a red flag. I hope she sees it as such because the rest of her marriage to that man will be he and his mother against her.
Emotional blackmail.. if u can't afford child care.. then use birth control until u can.. the grandma is right.. it's not her responsibility..
She did hire a nanny the grandma went and decided to take the grandson from the nanny. The grandma is wrong.
no the mother is wrong for banning her HUSBAND'S mother. The grandmother did go over board but the mother is still in the wrong. If you can't fit a child in your daily routine, then you shouldn't expect another to fit YOUR child in theirs.
The OP definitely made petty decisions that make her an AH. The grandmother responded in kind with a home invasion and kidnapping. I would never let that criminal around my child again. Get a restraining order and add your husband to it if he breaks it for his mom. None of you are behaving in a way that you can tell your child later in life and not be hated.
Well being that she is just the grandma, you can't force her to watch ur child, Now, it would be different if she lived off of you and didn't do anything. Banning her from the babies life is cruel and that would break any grandma's heart. You could make arrangements and ask for her help, but you can't demand her to babysit
I understand how you might be feeling but the truth is she is not your babysitter.
Babysitting her grandchild should be her choice not something forced on her.
Let us be honest now; she has already done all the Babysitting she could possibly do for her children!!! Now it's time for her to enjoy herself and live life to the fullest. I know you will not agree because you think she should be there to babysit for you while you enjoy your life. Sorry to disappoint you but you should look after your children or pay for a babysitting.
You don't ever stop a Grandmother from seeing her grandchildren because she doesn't fit in your "Babysitter box" That's childish and disrespectful. When we choose to have children that means we should be prepared to be a full time baby sister. Whenever you need a baby sister get a student or ask your Mom to babysit your children. This is absolutely ridiculous!!! You are wrong my dear. You are a mother stop acting like you are a child and grow up. Your children need a real Mom not a playmate. You are acting like a Child stop this nonsense!!!
Please allow Grandma to see her grandchildren. Would you do this to your Mom/Be pleased to see her daughter in law does something like this to her???????
She did hire a Nanny and the mother in law went and took the child from the nanny... She had no right to do that
why would you ban your Husband's mother just because she doesn't want to take care of your child? that's not her responsibility. Her responsibility is already grown and married. The wife was being petty and entitled. does that make the granny right? no not at all, but the mother is dead wrong for using emotional abuse to get what she wanted, which was free childcare. If you can't afford a baby, then don't have one.
For one I am a Granny and I am saying yes you did overreact because she granny not a built in baby sitter, sounds like Grandma has a full life that she enjoys and for you to think that she is to drop her life to babysit is selfish of you and you took away her grandson because she refused to be your babysitter. Now Granny had no right to do what she done she is wrong in that behavior. Listen we grandparents have a life that you see as a bunch free time but to us we earned that life.
Youre a bad Granny. Good parents schedule things around their grandchildren needs. I'm glad my parents, grandparents & in laws don't think like you.
She’s not a bad granny! She’s sticking up for all grandma’s who don’t think they’re obligated to babysit. If your family is willing to give up their free time to watch your children, great, but some grandparents just don’t want to.
Lies.. grandparents choose when they want the child not when the parents choose 2 force their child on the grandparents
Your a bad person if you think others should take care of your responsibility, just because they are family. you chose to have that child, not them, so you need to schedule things around your seed, not them.
If she didn't want to keep the baby why did she kidnapped the child call the cops on her
Wait, took ALL his clothes & hubby think okay? He must have been in on it. Then again babysit maybe 1 or 2 times a week, but EVERY day when obviously u can afford a Nanny, uh NO
That bustard knew about it how did she know about the nanny
Restraing order TODAY
Yes
OK. First, taking your child was a felony. Yes, you have every right to keep your son from his grandmother. I would definitely ban her now. HOWEVER, banning her because she wouldn't babysit is almost the dictionary definition of entitled twit. She's absolutely correct that "grandma" is not a synonym for "babysitter." Until she effectively kidnapped your child, you were dead wrong. She went postal on you - very bad, felonious. You did not bring on or deserve her crazy. That's on her. You denying her access to a grandchild because she wouldn't babysit was beyond entitled.
You ever read the Red Hen story? If she's not willing to help she's no grandma at all. And on top of that she's psychotic and entitled enough to kidnap a baby.
Hi Lenny! Thank you for sharing your story. We’ve prepared some tips that can help you navigate through this situation.
Your husband’s dismissive attitude is a serious issue. Have a calm but firm discussion to express how his lack of support during this incident left you feeling isolated and betrayed.
Emphasize that as co-parents, you need to make unified decisions, especially in matters involving your child’s safety. If he resists, consider involving a marriage counselor to help navigate this conflict.
Your MIL’s actions—forcing her way in and taking your child—could qualify as unlawful. Consult a family lawyer to explore options such as a restraining order or other legal measures to ensure she cannot access your home or child without your permission.
This will not only protect your child but also set clear consequences for boundary violations.
Ok I agree Granny doesn't need to babysit everyday BUUUUT the minute she kidnapped that baby she would be in the hospital!!! And what she did WAS kidnapping. She forced her way into someone else's home stole the baby AND all his belongings!?! She wouldn't even be awake yet!
Have a direct but firm conversation with your MIL. Calmly explain why her behavior was unacceptable and how it breached your trust as a parent.
Lay down specific rules about her involvement in your child’s life, such as requiring your explicit permission for visits. Make it clear that while she is the grandmother, these boundaries are non-negotiable.
Ensure your nanny feels empowered and secure in her role. Discuss what happened and offer support to rebuild her confidence. Provide clear instructions on how to handle unapproved visitors in the future, including calling the police if necessary.
This will prevent a repeat of the situation and help establish her authority while caring for your child.
Frannie is caught in a tense conflict with her mother-in-law. The MIL generously offered to buy the newlyweds a house, but Frannie is hesitant to accept such a significant gift, fearing it would come with strings attached. She describes her MIL as a control freak, which only heightens her concerns. To make matters worse, Frannie's husband is siding with his mother, leaving her feeling unsupported. Read her full story here.
They addressed the mil's bad behavior, but not the dil's bad behavior! Dil acted out of turn and immature, also. They could use some individual and family therapy!
DIL was waaaay out of line banning MIL from seeing their son because she didn't want to spend every day babysitting while THEY work, when clearly they were able to hire a Nanny. BUT, MIL was even MORE out of line kidnapping her grandchild! What the heck was she THINKING do some crazy mess like that??
For THAT, she would definitely not be allowed to see the baby unless one or both of his parents are PRESENT!! DIL was TA to start, and MIL took AH-ling to a whole new level!! And where was Hubby/Dad during all of this?? It sounds to me like they are ALL AH's!! That poor kid! 🫤
Grow up, your children are not pawns for you to use as your advantage or not. Not all grandmothers have to be the picture perfect old lady sitting in a rocking chair watching your kids for you and she should be doing whatever the heck she wants to, we did our time as parents, now do yours. Grandparents are not automatic babysitters and it doesn't mean they love them less and if you think it does then you have a problem.
