You could be cruising through life, thinking you’ve got it all figured out, and then bam! Everything changes in a day. But what if your family tries to keep you in the dark about it all? That’s exactly what happened to this grandma, who just wanted to help her granddaughter but ended stirring up a whole mess in the family.
She just wanted to help her granddaughter.
“This is about my granddaughter, Lindsey. Lindsey (15) has it rough being a middle child, and she looks different from her siblings. I was truly confused about how she had blond, curly hair while the rest of the family had dark hair. I thought genetics was weird, and I love her.
The issue came up when Lindsey told me her parents banned her from getting an ancestry test. I told my son and DIL that there was something fishy around her birth that she needed to know. They denied it and told me to leave it alone. Lindsey is now in high school, and she went to her biology teacher. To put it bluntly, the teacher said it was odd for her to have some traits.”
“She came to me distressed, asking me to buy a DNA test since she needed to know. Long story short, she is not her mother’s kid. My son got someone else pregnant, and her biological mom gave her up.
This has blown up the family, and while Lindsey is pissed about being lied to, I am getting a ton of heat for getting her a DNA test. Now they won’t talk to me, which is making Lindsey even more mad at them.”
What Redditors had to say about it.
In the meantime, her social media post attracted a lot of interest, flooded with comments that the woman struggled to keep pace with. Reddit ignited with discussions about Lindsey’s family saga. Users shared varied opinions, expressing astonishment and empathy for Lindsey’s situation. The revelation of a hidden family secret sparked debates on trust, transparency, and the consequences of keeping such information concealed.
- Your son and his wife lied to her until she is 15 about something so important, and trying to keep lying to her even after she obviously started to question things. There are medical reasons a person might need to know what their genetics are or are not, and if you hadn’t helped her, she would have found out some other way. At least this way, she knows she has one friend and ally who will be honest with her. Take care of each other during this difficult time. Shake_Speare423 / Reddit
- It’s not the end of the world if they don’t. My mom is adopted and has never found her biological father. We have no medical history on that end of the family. When I had my kid, I just did extra genetic testing to make sure everything would be fine. morbid_n_creepifying / Reddit
- People have a right to know their genetic heritage. You put her safety and comfort ahead of your son’s preferences. My grandparents helped my parents lie to me about my adoption, and not only have I never forgiven any of them, but I’m still in therapy over all of it.
To answer some of the repeated nonsense here, parental rights do not have greater value than a child’s right to access comprehensive medical care, and hiding an adoption does precisely that. Maybe some things, like a child staying healthy, should matter more than a parent’s right to lie, gaslight, and manipulate their child as they see fit. RemembrancerLirael / Reddit
- How do you not know that your granddaughter’s mom is not her biological mom? Your son had a kid, and you never noticed his wife or girlfriend was not pregnant? jrm1102 / Reddit
- If you had done this simply to satisfy your own curiosity, then that would be different. But you were helping your granddaughter do something that she herself wanted to do. You’re getting heat because her parents are mad at being found out, not because you’re actually in the wrong. jmbbl / Reddit
- Lindsey already knew. The only part she didn’t know was which parent was hers biologically. Lindsey isn’t dumb. She was going to find out, or she was going to continue to get lied to for three more years. Your son is trying to deflect blame onto you. He’s angry that he got caught lying to his kid and to his parents. Grand-Corner1030 / Reddit
- Her parents were causing her distress with their secret-keeping and ham-fisted method of trying to stop her from “finding out” about the secret that involved telling her straight to her face that there was something about her ancestry they didn’t want her to know, so she isn’t allowed to get DNA tests.
You aren’t to blame for their poor handling of the situation that put the girl in distress and made her come running to you hoping to find the answers to the questions they made sure to tell her she should be asking. They had every opportunity to handle this in a mature and sensible way but decided that would be too hard and awkward to deal with and stuck their heads in the sand.
Mizu005 / Reddit - This girl has felt a disconnect from her family, and her parents kept ignoring her pleas. They shut down any conversation, refusing to listen to her. I assume they did so to protect your son from his cheating. They did it to protect their image. However, they did this at the expense of their daughter.
You did overstep. You did go against your granddaughter’s parents, but you did so because of your granddaughter. I am not sure I would call you right. Potential_Ad_1397 / Reddit - The minute they realized she was interested in a DNA test, they should have been honest with her. Now they have a 15-year-old who feels betrayed. I sure hope they are getting her some therapy. However, it wasn’t your place to do something against her parents’ wishes. VeritasB / Reddit
These kinds of stories happen a lot in families, just like this one that started off casually but ended up exposing a major secret through a DNA test.
