In blended families, it’s common for parents to have differing views on how to handle their children. Colleen’s husband continues to provide financial support to his 19-year-old daughter, who is pregnant and already a mother of two. Meanwhile, Colleen feels that her stepdaughter should not be coddled and needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions. This clash in parenting styles led to a situation that went terribly wrong, and Colleen has shared her story with us.
The fact that she didn’t need the money but didn’t want her husband using his money the way he chooses is a problem. She went out and bought a new home for absolutely no reason JUST so her husband can’t help his daughter. This lady sounds like a cold hearted controlling B*t*h. Why would he turn his back on his daughter when she clearly needs him, she’s obviously looking for love in all the wrong people. If she loved her step daughter she would help her, sit her down & have a conversation with her. Find out what she wants to do with her life and help her look into making that happen. Get her a financial advisor to help her bargain, save money etc. She handled this situation like a child. She’s like the older sibling that doesn’t want to finish his candy but eats it just so no one else can have any.
No, he needs to leave her! Who does that? That’s her husband’s daughter & grandchildren and she’s acting like a selfish childish control freak! He can do whatever he wants with his money & what she did was disgusting. I hope you never have children or need any help in life because you are just as bad
Given the emotional and financial conflicts, involving a neutral third party could help. A mediator or counselor can facilitate a discussion between you and your husband to address the underlying issues.
This professional might help clarify each other's perspectives, restore communication, and find a resolution that acknowledges both your concerns and your husband’s responsibilities.
Consider discussing the financial decisions and future planning openly with your husband. Since you drained the shared savings account without his consent, it’s crucial to establish a clear, mutually agreed-upon approach to handling finances moving forward.
This might involve setting up separate accounts for personal expenditures and jointly managed accounts for shared expenses, ensuring that both parties are informed and agree on financial decisions.
Engage in a direct conversation with your stepdaughter.
It may be beneficial to address the situation directly with your stepdaughter. An honest conversation about her expectations and how her actions have impacted your relationship with her father could help clear misunderstandings.
Express your intentions and concerns, and listen to her perspective to potentially reach a better understanding and find common ground.
If the tension remains high and communication isn’t improving, temporarily moving out might provide space for both you and your husband to reflect on the situation. This physical distance could give you time to think about your relationship and future steps without the constant emotional strain.
Use this time to assess what you both need and whether there’s a path forward that respects both your needs and your husband’s.
Another stepmom dealing with tension is Claudia. When her 32-year-old stepdaughter lost her job and decided to move back in with her father, Claudia insisted that she pay rent. This decision led to an unexpected turn of events, and she reached out to us for advice. Read her story here.
